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Old 03-31-2015, 01:37 AM   #1 
BamNeko
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I've been thinking

I've been thinking a lot since I can't seem to really please this community as I've done with the Guinea Pig community and such. I've gone through harsh times 2 years ago with consistent cage changing with my hamster and she got massively stressed out there is no two ways to put it(every month or 2 months she was in a new cage). I've found a Facebook group that doesn't criticize me for keeping my bettas in an unheated 1 gallon tank. There have been a few people that have made me want to stay on this forum and there have been a lot of people who have been making me to do this post since my thread about a 1 gallon bowl. Though in general I feel I need to leave this community before other people trying to help out get in trouble because I don't take their advice and such. Now I don't want to leave this forum because I'm sure I can't find another one as good as this one, but it's my decision. I'm not one to tell someone to stop because they've upset me, I've gotten into so much trouble with forum staff doing that(seriously, they say tell a staff member and then I get in trouble for using a staff member against another member). I think the only real time's I would pop back onto this forum is for if one of my 3 fish is ill or when Magma(or one of the others) goes to fishy heaven. But I'm an adult and I am feeling VERY mistreated by most of the members and they know who they are even though I have apologized for not listening and such it still happens, because they are to hard headed and cannot get over themselves(had to say that). I've listened to my mom and really REALLY held out on getting the next size up for tanks. These are my fish and I will take care of them how I want to take care of them and not how people tell me to, with that hidden effort of trying to sneak in that tank upgrade.
I've done what I can to explain myself for people to understand that I cannot ask my parents for an extra $20 because I owe them in total $450+, to pay off the times they helped me out when I over drew my bank account and when they paid off for my one semester of college(these things I left out) and I'm tired of my financial issue being labeled as an excuse to why I cannot get this, this, and this for my fish. I learned what I wanted to and I think that's all I can really ask for in this community. I've never been so displeased with a forum community. I'm also tired of being known when someone is talking about me and they try to play it off like it's in general or they just don't care.
Now I can complain to the staff of how I feel like I am getting treated on this forum, but what good would that do? A warning and then within a few days maybe a month or two it will pick back up again. I've been put under so much stress with this forum trying to please you all, and I can't I honestly can't, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sell my fish or even return the newest guy. You can't make me do anything, and I don't care if you cry and complain, their my fish, and I know when their happy. They get all excited and active swimming around their bowls when I come into my room, just like how my Guinea Pigs greet me with wheeks. You cannot say my fish are sad that they don't have a bigger tank to swim in.

Anyways I think I'm about done venting myself out and I apologize if it's confusing and like mixed up. I'm most likely going to take my leave at the end of the week. I rather not have a stressful birthday, Easter, or spend my Grandma's 1 year anniversary of her passing sulking. We're all different but we all bleed red. We breath, therefore we're only humans, and for me, you can only push me so much until I have actually broken down. I won't leave personal rants for the members who I felt mistreated me the most because I am better then that and I know I am a better human being then they most likely are(even if they disagree). The most I can say is, I'm trying, what more do you want from me.

Your welcome to message me and we can talk one on one, I'm fine by that. My boyfriend is asleep so I cant vent out to him and most of my friends don't really offer the best advice.

I'm sorry.
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Old 03-31-2015, 01:56 AM   #2 
Axeria
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I thought everything where fine after the spat you had with some of the members on here? Its been quiet and a good wibe on here, you have even seemed in good spirits youself with posting :) I just dont understand why you start up again with this several days later...

It is your decission however if you want to leave. But I honestly think people have just been trying to help and not beat you down :)
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Old 03-31-2015, 02:00 AM   #3 
BamNeko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Axeria View Post
I thought everything where fine after the spat you had with some of the members on here? Its been quiet and a good wibe on here, you have even seemed in good spirits youself with posting :) I just dont understand why you start up again with this several days later...

It is your decission however if you want to leave. But I honestly think people have just been trying to help and not beat you down :)
You could be right and I may also be over reacting since April 4th my Grandma passed away last year and it was 2 days before my birthday and it wasn't a very good birthday for me or my twin sister(we celebrated it about 2 weeks later). So what happened in the past could be catching up to me. But I dunno I just have a very strong uneasy vibe with most of the members on this forum. They mean well but there are somethings I cannot let go of really.
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Old 03-31-2015, 02:03 AM   #4 
Axeria
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well, as I said its your decission :)
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Old 03-31-2015, 02:14 AM   #5 
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I'm sorry that you feel like this place has pushed you away, but what you do is your choice to make. Only you can decide whether you will stay her or not - but I will say that you probably won't find the same level of expertise and experience elsewhere as you do here.

I will observe though, that a good number of people have been trying to help you. You fish, clearly - but you as well. We know you are on a limited buget, and we know that you can't do everything at once. But I know that part of what has had some members frustrated is that they have offered solutions that would be *easier* for you, *cheaper* for you, and give a better enviornment for your fish all in one go. For example - when you upgraded your tanks to 1gal tanks, I congratulated you on upgrading - but pointed out that you could have gotten a 5.5 gallon kit with lid, light and filter for $3 more. Dividing supplies would have cost an additional $2-3 to give approx 2.5gal to TWO of your fish. This would have been a stable enviormnmet that woud be healthier for them *AND* easier for you. It also would have required one heater instead of two - which is additional savings. Your setup requires a lot of maintenance to keep your fish healthy - where that divided 5gal would have required a 50% water change 1x per week after the tank cycled.

We understand that tanks cost money, and that you have limited funds and resources. However - buying appropriate equipment *once* is *MUCH* cheaper than buying everything multiple times. When I first got Callisto, I spent over $100 in the first week on equipment and tank decor that I quickly realized wasn't appropriate for my little guy and I had to replace. I could really use that $100 back and wish that I would have spent the extra $10 from the get-go than end up replacing most of my initial purchases. These are the types of things that some of us encouraged you to do.

Many of us have been looking at tanks for a while and know lots of tricks to getting an optimal setup as inexpensively as possible *the first time around*. We don't *WANT* your fish to go through endless upgrades. That puts a lot of stress on them and costs *you* a lot of money and time. We would prefer to help you get them situated appropriately within what means you have *first*. At this point we know that you've boxed your self into a little bit of a hole....but we can help you learn to approach things in a way that *saves* you money, time and stress if you let us.

As I said, whether you stay or go is your choice. Whatever choice you make I wish you the best, and wish you luck with your lovely little guys.
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Old 03-31-2015, 02:40 AM   #6 
Tress
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+1 Green, couldn't have said it better myself.

The big problem with fish is that the market has lead us to believe they are cheap to own - which once you have a running set up they actually are cheaper than a dog or cat. But it's that initial setting up that really is a pain in the wallet. Tanks, heaters, filters, conditioner, substrate, plants, lights, decor, basic meds... it adds up quick. I lucked out and got some second hand items cheap but I've also had an ongoing fight with getting properly working heaters. That is why having the proper set up is key, upgrading is painful especially when small tanks and bad items are often over priced x.x

Then again, if everyone got it right from the get go we wouldn't have much to talk about lol. We've all been there done that, unless we grew up in a fish enthusiast family, we all had a crash course when we opened our eyes to the reality of our finned friend's needs. Heck, I kept probably a dozen goldfish growing up, first in a 5g then later a 15g with so much algae it was insane. I'm not proud of that and the only thing I gained from that was how not to keep fish lol!

I wish you luck with your decision.
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Old 03-31-2015, 06:23 AM   #7 
Ilovebettasbk11
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Plese dont let people on here get to you he strong there are none judgemental people out there

I startd out with a unheater bowl

Peoples tones here can be harsh but in the end its you snd your fish not them

Last edited by Ilovebettasbk11; 03-31-2015 at 06:36 AM.
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