No, no one in particular. Just something in general because I'm considering deleting this account and using another forum. Just seeing what other users are saying.
And yes, defending your knowledge I understand. Yes, we all get mad when someone doesn't have a heater and wonders why Mr. Fishie is laying at the bottom of his 1/2 gallon tank not eating. It is frustrating when you've told them 1000 times they need a heater and a bigger tank and they don't listen. It is frustrating when they tell you that just because Mr. Fishie doesn't have x,y, & z doesn't mean that's why he's sick. I've heard it hundreds of times.
But that is life.
There are people in this world that will constantly think they are right, on any subject. It's just going to happen. And unfortunately, the sad part is it's at the bettas expense. It happens to dogs, cats, horses, birds, rabbits, gerbils, snakes, even hermit crabs. The only thing we can do is to just keep reminding them that heaters and bigger tanks do wonders for bettas. I just think yelling and getting snippy makes the OP defensive. Which is why we all get reported and snapped back at. Think about it, if you posted a picture of your tank and lets say you didn't have a heater and someone posted "OHMYGOSH, YOU DON'T HAVE A HEATER, YOUR FISH IS GOING TO DIE, YOUR FISH IS SICK, YOU'RE KILLING YOUR FISH, REHOME IT NOW!" How would that make you feel? Versus "You know, betta fish are tropical fish meaning they need water temperatures of 76-82F at all times. The way you achieve that....blah blah blah". Wouldn't you respond much more calm than the first way?
I'm not trying to argue or prove my point. I just want people to hear me out and see what I'm seeing. Because I'm not seeing a friendly, helpful forum. I'm seeing a "post at your own risk" kind of place.
I won't get into details on posts or people either, but I so understand the point of your rant. I almost left the forum once already, but decided to stay. I like a lot of people here, and decided to use it as intended..to get help and advice when I need it, and not worry about what others are saying or doing. Now when I see a post that upsets me I just move on...sigh
Lizzy, that's exactly the point I'm trying to make. Take your heater example for example... you could say it nicely like you did, but there will be somebody who is like: "nah bro he's been in that water for like, 6 months he's totally cool, lol" or "WHAT NO I AM NOT MADE OF MONEY!" or "I live in <insert irrelevant warm country here> I don't need one, NEXT."
Then if you insist further (while still remaining nice), they'll just try to blow you off and/or tell you to "get a life" or some other rude comment.
Like I have said many times before, you can't force advice down people's throats. Using bahamut's example, if you tell the person that putting a male and female in a gallon bowl is wrong and they get angry and rude, don't sit there and argue with them. after trying to help them and they act like they don't want your advice then leave
. If their fish dies it's their fault and their problem.
Amother issue is that we have people on here with learning disabilities and communication issues. I'm asking everyone to please take this into consideration when you see something that someone with these issues posts. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you like it if you had these issues and people got all snarky with you because you aren't able to communicate "normally" or understand things like other people.
And another issue we have is members posting about um, personal stuff. I'm sorry if you're having female issues but the rest of us don't want to or need to hear the details. Please keep the words "family friendly" in mind before posting these type of things. Also, as bahamut said, if someone is harrassing you whether it be in posts or pm, let the staff know so we can take care of the situation. End of rant.
Last edited by dramaqueen; 09-21-2012 at 12:34 AM.
about the small tank thing... I think I've been desensitized... I was at petco the other day and a spoilt girl really wanted a betta... in a half gallon... her dad was like, "you should get a proper set up"
I merely agreed out loud and told them "you should really get a gallon+ tank"
Well she was admant about getting her betta. And All I said was , "unless you do 100% water changes every day, he'll die..."
She got the fish anyway in the end, and I was simply amused to realize that, I didn't really care..."
But I guess that is good sometimes... I dont get worked up when I see a fish in a 1/2 gallon. I merely tell people that it's simply too small, and the maintainance too high.
But I do understand when people get emotional about it. Although sometimes I wish, for the sake of the OP, they'd just be more helpful, rather than screaming their personal feelings out in a post.
That's when people just need to let it go, instead of pushing it. If they really feel that strongly about their betta not needing a heater, well...Nothing is going to change their mind. No matter how you tell them.
*shrug* I'm just tired of rude people all together.
Bahamut...I have to point out your signature at this point...it is so true. I only have a problem when opinion is given rather than facts. There is a difference. This is why my previous signature said, "You don't need an opinion where you don't have a responsibility". Helping people with facts about betta care is different from offering what YOU personally think is best. Just my two cents here.
Good points DQ...I know that I have had a problem in this area, "Another issue is that we have people on here with learning disabilities and communication issues. I'm asking everyone to please take this into consideration when you see something that someone with these issues posts. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you like it if you had these issues and people got all snarky with you because you aren't able to communicate "normally" or understand things like other people." I am working on improving myself in regards to this.
Thank you, Kim. I kind of agree with Aokashi on the being desensitized thing. If you give advice and people don't want to take it and their fish dies, then that;s their problem and their fault like I just said.
It's the same way I feel with mice and rats. I'll fight to the death for them. If you stand back and say "Oh well they won't listen let the animal die." Then you are just as bad as them with the "oh well it's just a fish let it die". The whole point of the site then seems null because are we not out to save these animals and educate? Besides most of the people you give up on will kill the fish and just buy more and do the same thing. Also some people you need to be mean with until they understand. On the mouse forum I was on yelling tend to be the last resort but got the best results with the more stubborn people who wouldn't listen. Sometimes it is necessary and yes, animals were saved because of it. Giving up isn't an option when a life is at stake. Do detectives give up on a kidnapped child? No