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Old 10-23-2012, 10:19 AM   #1 
asukabetta's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
>_< a terrible mistake

I think I may have done a terrible mistake.

A cousin of one of my friends was quite taken with my betta fish, I showed her how they were, their personalities...etc

I was kinda telling how great they were, then she told me how she would love to have a fish that was as fancy since she only had goldfish.

When I heard about the goldfish, I was happy because there are few who do fish keeping here in spain. We talked a bit more and I told her I could tell her more about bettas some other day.

Yesterday she invited me to her house, and I asked if I could see her goldfish when I was there. To my horror... what I saw was a 5 gallon-ish tank, with at least 6-9 goldfish there, most of them dead... floating there. The water was DISGUSTING. And the smell was FOUL.

She complained about the smell and how her fish liked to sleep a lot. I told her they were dead not sleeping and she was like "Oh. I was wondering that. They keep dying on me"

I felt my heart sink as she pulled out the fish that were dead, and as she did she said something along the lines of

"I'm tired of buying these boring easy dying fish, so that is why I wanted something a bit nicer that doesn't require much care."

I then asked here how many she had, and she said she couldn't remember, she bought far too many for 2 euro -3euro each.

I told her to fix the smell she should at least get a filter and clean the tank water, but she replied saying it was too much work then asked me

"Is it true that the betta's hardly require care?"

I went silent for a second but then tried to tell her that betta's like any fish needed clean water, conditioner, a heater and perhaps a filter for such a tank she had.

She told me she was sure a fish didn't need as much care, as they were just fish. And she told me that with just tap water and food they would do fine.

I tried to convince her NOT to buy the betta's using the "having to care for the goldfish" as an excuse.

Later my friend called telling me how her cousin had bought two MALE betta's and was going to put them in the tank. She did tell me that she also bought a filter and cleaned the water, but didn't know if she bought conditioner, heater or was even going to divide the tank at all. I also asked about the goldfish, but my friend said she didn't know either.

Today I was called over by the cousin who wanted to show off her betta's to me.

I went to her house again, and the water as clean, and there was a filter, but it was way too strong... she had decorated it with gravel and plastic plants, but there was no heater, no use of conditioner and the two betta's were in the same tank with no separators... one was already half dead (due to a fight I guess), one was pretty much hiding on the bottom, gasping, fins torn.

She telling me how feisty they were acting proud, and I told her off for the terrible care she was giving them.

An argument issued, which ended badly, she kinda ended our friendship with a "If the stupid fish dies I'll get another!"

I don't really care remaining her friend or not, we didn't know each other for much anyways, but I am concerned about the fish. And the mysteriously "disappeared" goldfish.

Is there anything I can do? I kinda feel guilty since I was the one who told her about betta fish and all.. and I also feel bad for the amount of goldfish she has killed already...
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:37 AM   #2 
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Location: St. Paul
That's awful. Can you ask your friend to talk to their cousin for you? Perhaps they could more easily encourage good pet keeping habits.
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:49 AM   #3 
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just leave her alone and concentrate one making your own fish as healthy as possible... when all her fish dies... and if she ever sees your fish again. she might realize something. otherwise she's the type that will never be kind to fish anyway
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:54 AM   #4 
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She sounds mentally disturbed. How old is she?
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Old 10-23-2012, 01:46 PM   #5 
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She is older than me about 26-27 years old in other words an adult, she says shes an animal lover but her actions and pets say otherwise, anyways your right aokashi :/ poor fish though
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Old 10-23-2012, 01:55 PM   #6 
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Location: Haverhill, MA
Its a shame that we cannot make someone understand that they are doing wrong, we can beg, plead, and even try to prove what makes a good pet owner, but until they are willing to listen, to learn..they will not be ready to own a pet..Especially a fish, because they do require work, and a lot of it..and being stubborn makes it worse..sorry:(
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Old 10-23-2012, 02:10 PM   #7 
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Location: Bay Shore, NY
I don't think what you did was a mistake. You talked to someone, whom you assumed loves fish, about fish only to find out the "fish lover" doesn't see fish as living things that deserve respect. It's a shame the cousin will continue to veiw fish as cheap replacable items, but you can't fix that type of personality. If someone can't see a living thing as "alive" unless it has fur, that person is a lost cause. No amount of fish care education will get her to treat fish right or give up the hobby.

Just wash your hands of the counsin and move on without feeling guilt. Any fish that die under her "care" are her burden to bare, not your's. :)
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Old 10-23-2012, 03:51 PM   #8 
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Tell her to sort her life out before she ends the lives of others. Explain that once again her decision to learn very little has impacted on others...

Reminder; this is a family friendly forum with people of all ages. Please watch your language. Thanks.

Last edited by Olympia; 10-23-2012 at 04:10 PM. Reason: Language
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Old 10-23-2012, 03:58 PM   #9 
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Wow! It's a family friendly forum!! No matter how this makes us very mad and pissed, we have to make sure it's curse free. Well, no big curse words that is.

There's still something wrong with this.. It's unbelievable. :'l
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:15 PM   #10 
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Ive seen many people who consider themselves ``animal lovers`` give just horrid care to their pets be it dogs, cats or fish. Some people just like to get the pet but do not like the clean up of poop or buying the necessary equipment to do a proper job. Real animal lovers clean the tank or yard and spend the money required to ensure the pet is healthy.
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