So...it's been a while since I actually made an entry here.
All my fish are fine, they survived a few days without me very well, even though they all thought they were starving.
Ghibli's good too.
And I'm pretty okay, enjoying a week off work.
Unfortunately, I feel like my muse is in a dream state; like she's standing before a desert and knows she has to cross it to find the oasis she needs to create. Yea. I 'want' to do betta art, and work on some actual marine life, like some sea turtles, humpback whales, weedy sea dragons.......I also want to write more. Though my self esteem as a fictional writer has been in the dumps for years, thanks to lack of audience and seriously messed up people I keep bringing into my life =S
I have all this origami paper, all these beads, I try to promote the cause...but I don't feel that excitement any more. I feel bummed out by people.
A good example is, I just got a report via Sea Shepherd on FB that a Sea Turtle Conservationist was murdered by poachers down in Costa Rica. because they want to steal turtle eggs and sell them on the black market. And then the next thing in my feed is an aquaintance saying 'Got to golf, had a great day!' And I seriously want to punch his face in. I know that he has no idea about the sea turtle thing, but he has been an individual I've approached about adopting a betta fish, or putting money towards conservation. And he's given me the 'life's just so busy and money's too tight' excuse (which of course the next week I see him post about spending $80 on a gold club????).
I'm not saying people should give up what makes them happy to save the world, all I'm saying is if you could've gone another paycheck without a new golfclub...maybe you should've.
And then on here.......this community is sometimes great...people honestly wanting to help others, teach newcomers to the hobby, share their wonderful stories and inspirations.....and then at other times, I find just as much selfishness, greed, ignorance, misplaced hate and bitterness....
I mean, I'm all for brutal honesty. Raw sincerity is the way to go, because then there are no misunderstandings between those who perceive the world on that level...unfortunately people's feelings do get hurt because they get upset and it's just a mess. So even here, it's not advisable to be completely honest with people.
And this place stresses people out! They start getting told they need to do this, this, this, this, and need to have to have these such and such meds, and so on, and so on...I'll honestly say, when I first came here, I was a mess. Stressing out over ONE betta fish with finbiting tendencies. That was it, nothing terrible, but then I discovered all this new info and I lost sleep for weeks because of anxiety. And that's because of the phrasing people use on here. It didn't even have to be a thread I posted or a response to one of my posts, I would skim into the wee morning hours and see some seriously obnoxious, rude, and heartless replies to other people's problems.
I'm glad I took a step back after a while, and gave the forum the finger and calmed the freak down because it was making me incredibly ill for a while. And you know what? My fish was fine. I was freaking out about nothing. Despite how seriously some members told me to do things, it's one of the most common and easiest issues in the book.
Since I've dealt with rougher stuff, but even if I did have the correct meds, there's no garuntee my fish would've done any better. Unfortunately, a friend's current issues is proof of that. All the 'miracle' drugs in the world may not save your fish, and that's just a simple fact in this hobby. Death comes and death goes away. And I'm not saying we shouldn't strive to do our best to help them, we totally should. Just to keep in mind that we're not some god with any control over it, we're simply humans.
Anyways...basically it's like this; I used to come on here and be in awe of this place; people's AB fish, how accomplished breeders were, how much other members knew...I was dazzled for a time. And then I started seeing the politics. The dirty drama. The plain fact that even though some of these people love bettas, they're still miserable people. Members treat each other like crap sometimes, members can't respect each other's opinions or walk away, no, they HAVE to get their two cents in there and bitch. There are some issues that are left alone for too long, and other people who can't read, and sooo many members on here just assume everything when they post.
And the fact is, this forum is part of the Internet. You DONT know the truth of the person behind the Username. Unless you've met them in person, you don't have any clue how much of what someone says online is true, and what isn't. Yet people have gotten ridiculously upset over the truths and falses of some members, and then act all offended when it's one way or another.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of coming to a place where I don't smile any more. I appreciate the friends I've made, and I am grateful for the help I have received..I'm happy I got to truly help others, because that fortified confidence in myself as a caretaker of these fish. But enough is enough. This place throws me back into my dull-drums, and just reminds me of why I don't like people, and should just stay away from large groups of them.
Anyways.....in a few weeks, don't be surprised if I just stop replying on here. I'm happy to share my email and facebook with people if they want it (warning, I have much more brutal opinions on FB and in private messages).
It's been a pleasure, and I wish you all well.
Last edited by Perseusmom; 06-09-2013 at 05:01 PM.
Your post made me smile. I totally understand what you are saying (and agree with it). I admit, I have been rude in a couple posts... Short temper here XP. But I have been more careful lately., and try to provide help if I can. I know how stressful this forum can be. Dramatic, too.
Sy, don't doubt that you are a good fishkeeper, ever! I have seen how you keep your fish, and it is amazing... If I was I betta I would be extremely happy to have you as an owner. Your fish are spoilt and happy.
If this forum makes you unhappy, do what's best for you. If that means leaving, as much as I would hate that, so be it. Thank you for all of your help (I'm currently drafting shelves, thanks to you). I hope I still have some way of contacting you though.
I understand. I personally don't think anyone who cares is a bad fish keeper... New members who come for advice with their bettas in small unheated bowls... They aren't bad fish keepers, not if they are concerned and willing to do what's in their means to help their fish. I recommend having a lot of extra stuff on hand (like I have vitachem, NLS, back up meds that are hard to find in store) but trying to keep an open mind that not everyone here is a high schooler like me with a job and no bills to pay. Vitachem and back up meds and the very best quality food aren't even a necessity... But I mention it to people because some are appreciative of the advice and actually want to upgrade and give their fish what they can. I've also noticed that some parts of the forum are more... Friendly... Than others. And I've developed a deep love for te mods who weed out those very obnoxious members who pick fights with everyone and scare off new members and senior ones alike. But I can't expect more from a forum than what I expect in real life. I deal with "those people" everywhere. Everyone does. I can say that I have met some of THE NICEST, most unique people here.
I also want to say that I developed a love for those stubborn little tail biters because of Phy... His personality, just seemed to SHINE, even though I was only reading stories. The fact that they seem to say "nope, I need a haircut" just seems to make them that much more unique, and the more I read about them, the more I feel inclined to tell people to just relax and keep the water clean. It's not really hurting the fish, and the owners have unnecessary heart attacks.
You're not the first or last one to make the decision to leave or be less active on the forum for the same reasons and I totally respect that. Everyone's got busy schedules, other things to worry about, and don't need extra stressors.
I just want you to know that you, this journal, Phy, Demi... All those things that you've shared and learned from, I have, too. And they will stick with me.
Also I love the name Phy and I think I developed a strangly personal relationship with him (considering the fact that I didn't know him except through your posts) and if I ever find a cobalt VT I think I might have to name him after Phy is his honor, and who knows, maybe he will be a tailbiter, too :p
So just remember... Whatever you decide to do... You've touched other people on this forum, too, in more ways than one.
I say leave, this forum was great I while ago but now it is filled with a lot of rude intolerant members who don't care about how they might affect anyone, I think they have forgotten there is a person behind the username.
I would leave too if I had a different way of communicating with some of the friends I have made.
You are a great person and should NOT be put down by other people's ignorance and stupidity.
Last edited by Perseusmom; 06-09-2013 at 05:03 PM.
I personally see a lot of good in people here... I don't know. Maybe I just always expect the bad and the few gems surprise me. But that is besides the point.
Syr, I cannot say I know you all that well; aside from a few sparse posts, we never really talked. But what I have seen of you, I liked. You come across as a very genuine person. You are also infinitively talented and have raised the standards of what I aspire to achieve in myself as an artist. I am thankful to have gotten a chance to interact with you.
The others are right. Please do not stay if you feel unhappy here. A person only gets so much time, so don't waste it in a place that brings you down. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
And to Matt - I haven't personally seen any posts of yours with an extremely short temper... Spirited, opinionated.. Yes. None I found offensive. Some might, though. It can be hard to sound civil in text format. Really. You can't point out sarcasm or blunt rudeness and differentiate it with how the person REALLY meant to come off as when you're typing paragraphs to each other rather than talking face to face, or at least over the phone or something. But I agree there are members who are just... Not even trying to be the least bit civil, or understanding. And with so much diversity it can be very hard for someone to even comprehend what others are going through... There are young members who don't know what it's like to be an adult in the "real world", older members who don't remember much of what it was like to be a kid because so much time has passed, people from all over countries in every country, those who don't speak English as their first language... Miscommunications and misunderstandings are obviously going to happen. It's my favorite thing about the Internet. I can't walk outside my house and meet someone who lives in Canada and someone who lives in the UK. Diversity is an amazing thing, an amazing experience, one of the most powerful things to learn from IMO. And the usernames... They can protect you in ways, if you want them to. I have met someone on here who was 12, someone in their 50s... You best believe that if I met that 12 year old in person I would probably not take him so seriously (he was smart, very good grammar and people skills... Wouldn't have ever in my life guessed he was 12). And that person in their 50s... Well in real life, I probably never even would have talked to him. Age is not the barrier we make it to be, really. It's perception. I love the Internet, for that.
But by all means, I would never tell someone that they can't/shouldn't/will regret making the decision to leave the forum. It's a personal choice, a right that can't be taken from you. I will probably be around still if you come back/check up once in a while. I'm not as active as I once was but I enjoy reading about others fish and sharing my own as well as helping out members, particularly in the diseases/emergencies subforum. But that could change once I get my own place and start college.
Things change, people change, some of my very best friends here have come and gone. It doesn't exactly feel the same as it once did, but... Idk. I take it as it is. I will still always come here if I need advice and willingly help those who need it, read up on other members new fish and tanks and whatever. It relaxes me. If you want to leave, by all means... I just want you to know that you, and you fish, have all touched me, however insignificant it is to the bigger picture.
Wow, I was not expecting such a warm goodbye, lol. Thank you, all of you.
Ayala, gosh, I will be touched if you name a cobalt VT after Phy xP My pain in the butt! I miss him dearly, and he's the reason I met you, and a bunch of other wonderful people. Btw, very jealous of your photos, I sometimes wonder if I just dont have the patience, the wrong camera, or am just that much of a nub >.<
Matt, I'm glad I've been able to help - and I totally understand your 'spirited - as Ayala calls them - posts. =) A person should be able to be honest, and some people are simply more emotional in communication than others. That's what makes us wonderful people, because of our differences, not how we're all mellow, bland, and normal =P
Feng - I am still oh so jealous of your fish, and your own skill! I am glad you've found me a pleasant person to deal with xD As I know a good few handfuls who think I'm srsly b****y. By all means, add me on Deviant Art if you havent' already!
BB123 - You're honest, and that makes you beautiful. I'm glad you understand my reasons for leaving.
And I mean it, I will share Facebook, Skype, email address...those are the main ways to keep in contact with me. And hey, even Deviant Art. I don't actively post journals on it, but it's where ALL of my art, photography and writing goes and every half a year I generally update the journal xD
You've all been great to me, and I imagine every once in a while I might update this with my enormous betta family xP