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Old 11-17-2012, 11:18 PM   #1 
MissLyss1024
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My mom doesn't take care of her fish!!

I love my mother, but she is so stubborn!! She has a 10 gallon she's had set up for 5 months now that started with 3 tetras. I thought for sure they wouldn't live. She doesn't clean the tank or do ANY water changes. EVER. Shockingly, they are still alive. A few weeks ago she added 2 chinese algae eaters, a big one that's about 4 inches long and a smaller 2-3 inch one. I went shopping with her today and couldn't talk her out of getting more fish! She got 4 more tetras (not sure what kind they all are, just that they're tetras) and she also got a female betta not knowing it was one. This pet store had 2 female bettas in a tank with a ton of other fish. One had a protruding white eye and both of them had clamped fins, you could tell the poor things were so stressed! I also noticed a few of the fish in the tank darting around rubbing against everything so I'm sure these new fish she just brought home and threw in the tank have itch. I BEGGED her to give me the betta so I could treat her and give her a quiet happy and clean home but she refused. I try to guide her and tell her to clean the tank, that's too many fish, get a better heater and thermometer but she thinks her way is right, I'm wrong and I think I'm some sort of "fish expert." Am I crazy and over reacting or is this a bad situation? I need some guidance! She's one of the "bettas can live in a cup of cold water and thrive" people even though I've tried my hardest to educate her but she doesn't care. No doubt I'm going to be worried about her fishies, especially that beautiful betta girl
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Old 11-17-2012, 11:46 PM   #2 
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I certainly hope that you said something -publicly- to the person who helped you at the store.
Generally, the more people who hear you say something like, "Sir, I think that tank has ---, look at how the fish ----. Has the issue been addressed, and why aren't they quarantined?" the more likely they'll be to deal with it.
You can't be too "oh, poor fishies" or "what the hell is wrong with you people to let this happen?!" about it. Just a calm (and clear-spoken) "Reassure a customer who doesn't want to spend money on disease, please"

As to your mother, have you tried being sneaky? Change her water for her, a cup at a time, and pretend it's just force of habit. That's how I dealt with my mother's plants for a good while. Once she saw the difference (and, admittedly, had the peace of mind) she got right into it. Now many of her plants are thriving better than mine...

I'm sure that she cares more than you know. But most of the time, the older we get, the less we wanna hear people tell us we're wrong.
Just be respectful and laid-back about it. She's an adult, she's going to make her own decisions and you've got no more say in those than you do in who she kisses goodnight. But you can always throw out what you've learned. People react much more intellectually to ideas that you present for review than those that you hand them as concrete fact. Every person has the right to process information and decide what they believe in.
My mother and I bounce ideas and information off each other constantly.
"I read an article today that stated ----- "
"Oh? Well I guess that makes sense, but ----"
"That's what I would think, but ---"
"That sounds a little half-baked. Did it say anything about ----?"
"No, but it cited ---- study, and gave ----- reasoning"
And so on....
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:01 AM   #3 
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There was a tetra type fish today that had ich so bad, it looked like it snowed on it, it was ridiculous, and i stood on my tip toes to see into the tank, no gravel, the bottom was literally COVERED in fish bones, literally.... piles and skulls, it was ridiculous.
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:08 AM   #4 
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There was a tetra type fish today that had ich so bad, it looked like it snowed on it, it was ridiculous, and i stood on my tip toes to see into the tank, no gravel, the bottom was literally COVERED in fish bones, literally.... piles and skulls, it was ridiculous.

I went into a walmart a couple of days ago, and literally every one of their tanks was mostly dead fish, but fresh dead, and all of their live ones were huddling in corners as far away as they could get from the mess of floating bodies.
I almost feel ashamed to say this, but that was the first time in my life that I ever looked at the cupped bettas and didn't cringe. They were all safe...
It was one of the saddest things I've seen in a while, but it clearly wasn't outright neglect. Something happened to their system and shocked the critters. I went back the next afternoon and every tank was scrubbed clean, with two set up as quarantine tanks. They even actually put hidey-holes in for the remaining fish, so that they would feel a little safer, which is something I've never seen at a walmart in my life. It made me feel a little better, too.
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:15 PM   #5 
MistersMom
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Thats good. thats awful though, that it happened...
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:21 PM   #6 
MissLyss1024
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We were the only ones in the store and I didn't stay while she picked them out. I wish I had the guts to say something! I'm so tired of seeing fish that aren't taken care of in basically every pet store that it's to the point I try to avoid those sections all together.
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:22 PM   #7 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckee View Post

I went into a walmart a couple of days ago, and literally every one of their tanks was mostly dead fish, but fresh dead, and all of their live ones were huddling in corners as far away as they could get from the mess of floating bodies.
I almost feel ashamed to say this, but that was the first time in my life that I ever looked at the cupped bettas and didn't cringe. They were all safe...
It was one of the saddest things I've seen in a while, but it clearly wasn't outright neglect. Something happened to their system and shocked the critters. I went back the next afternoon and every tank was scrubbed clean, with two set up as quarantine tanks. They even actually put hidey-holes in for the remaining fish, so that they would feel a little safer, which is something I've never seen at a walmart in my life. It made me feel a little better, too.
This almost made me cry. Why do they sell/keep the fishes if they don't take care of them? Really?
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:48 PM   #8 
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Maybe you could talk her into planting the tank? At least that way, the plants will help filter the water.
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Old 11-18-2012, 12:56 PM   #9 
Rockandrollgirl09
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Im glad that your walmart is willing to do that and take care of there fish. My walmart doesn't half of the time every fish is dead in the tank and the others look so skinny and hungry that they have to feed off of there tank mates. One time in particular I went there and looked at the bettas and I was apalled at what I saw. Someone had taken a male betta and placed him in with a female. The male was pretty much attacking the female because he wanted to mate I think and she didnt. I told one of the workers and he said oh ok. The next day I went back to check on the betta and her well being and they were still together so I told someone else and finally someone did something. I was so mad.
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Old 11-18-2012, 01:15 PM   #10 
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These are such awful stories...!
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