He said to me We can’t save all the animals and beside they were fighting fish so that was different. They have to be kept separated."
- Highlighted a missing quotation mark.
Separate does not mean left to sit in
unsanitary conditions until you die or someone takes you home.
- You could also say left in unsanitary conditions, it just looks like you forgot a word.
So I picked out two fish and put them in my cart. One was
orangish looking cellophane veiltail I named Julius (o
range Julius) the second was
blue veiltail I named Nano as in Nano second. He was the second I chose and as it turned out he was a very speedy little fish.
(my own rewrite of that sentence) The second was Indigo a blue veiltail I named Nano. The name ended up fitting him perfectly as he turned out to be a very speedy fish, darting everywhere in nano seconds.
- This ones picky, but you used one like a list item, then abandoned numbering. I rewrote the next sentence to incorporate them into the same sentence. And because for a second my mind died and I couldn't remember nano seconds.
I chose Nana because I have always associated with the name bettas with the classic blue betta.
(my own wording) I chose him because he was a what I imagined when I heard the word betta, a perfect and classic blue.
- the two uses of betta within 5 words of each other sounded a tad bit redundant.
These corrections are all minor critique and sentence structure stuff, and there is more of that where they came from if you want me to continue/ found any of that helpful towards your editing process. I'm not a perfect writer, nor is my spelling near as stellar as dictionary.com would lead me to believe. I'm not going to mess with the entire draft and end up sounding like a know it all internet jerk. I'm actually quite nice.