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Old 05-30-2013, 10:10 AM   #1 
Stone
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Why people are afraid to post on this forum.

one thing I have noticed on this site along with many others is a bunch of people who think they know better than anyone else, and of course they are rude offensive arrogant belittling to other members. if someone posts something and you do not agree with it sure you can post on it, but you should keep in mind that there is another person on the other end of the screen, sure when you post something on the net people are going to respond with their opinions and experiences and guess what? other people have had exactly the opposite experiences and opinions. So yes when you throw down the glove in an open forum and are belittling, being rude, being snarky, and just in general are brow beating someone for no other reason than to hear yourself speak as it were guess what? people will post on what you just posted and will be just as rude and snarky as you. I myslef have been on the internet pretty much since day 1 back when it was called the BBS a lot of you do not even know what that is, lets just say it was the net before it was the net, I have met people from around the world on the internet via the net and some eventually in person, I have been a "gamer" since basically day 1 I have played every type of game dealt with every type of person on the net. I am a member of all kinds of forums on the net from fishkeeping to cooking to DIY and well tons and tons of things, I am even a mod on some forums. the point of this forum is to get people to talk about and discuss fishkeeping in general but mainly about keeping bettas, it is not about proving who is right and who is wrong, for any evidence you can bring up the opposite can be found on the net, it is a matter of OPINION of what is right or wrong, so before posting a reply on any thread look up at the topic of the thread, then look at what is actually being discussed at the time in the thread because all threads tend to wonder here and there and think to yourself am I on topic? is what I am posting useful? could I be offending someone? Am I sure my "facts" are right? (if they are not people will call you on it)

Now keeping all of that in mind new members and the ones who just lurk these forums and are afraid to post anything for fear of being brow beat and criticized to the point of oblivion will contribute zero to these forums, some of them might actually have good ideas or advise or some experiences others might benefit from,I myself am used to the riggers of being on a forum, anyone can do web searches and get info but like I am constantly pointing out not every site gives good info I have seen some that give some of the worst advise I have ever seen kind of info. If you want examples of bad info just read most of the little fish handbooks petco/petsmart and so on give out on fish, a new person might not know its bad advise, or lets say misleading advise. Petstores are there to sell you fish and supplies, sure will they sell you a common pleco to put in a 10 gallon tank? yes they sure will and they wont even tell you they grow to be 2 foot long.

So in short, be on topic, be nice, and engage your brain before putting your mouth in gear or others will call you on it.
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:08 AM   #2 
aemaki09
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People don't post on this forum because everyone gangs up on the person stating the fact, not because they get belittled.

The reason "arguments" on this forum are started is because 1 person always has to be so darn hard headed as to ask for advice and then refuse to follow any of it as soon as they hear something they don't like.

Also, I can guarentee a ton of people don't post because a lot of people on here have a panic attack if someone has less than 10 gallons for a betta. That's bologna! It's proven than as long as these guys have warm water and good parameters, with atleast a gallon, then they'll be perfectly happy and will thrive just the same as one in a 10 gallon.


I personally only stick to 1 thread anymore. My main reason is because I saw a lot of people being followers. They saw 1 person make a statement (False ones at that) and then decide to repeat it until most of the people on this site think it's fact. I also don't post on here because people will say one thing and then turn around and make the complete opposite argument 2 days later.

I'm tired of all the drama too which is why i joined a different forum and only come here for the aquabid thread really, but be careful who you blame for being the cause of people not posting on here.
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:17 AM   #3 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aemaki09 View Post
People don't post on this forum because everyone gangs up on the person stating the fact, not because they get belittled.

The reason "arguments" on this forum are started is because 1 person always has to be so darn hard headed as to ask for advice and then refuse to follow any of it as soon as they hear something they don't like.

Also, I can guarentee a ton of people don't post because a lot of people on here have a panic attack if someone has less than 10 gallons for a betta. That's bologna! It's proven than as long as these guys have warm water and good parameters, with atleast a gallon, then they'll be perfectly happy and will thrive just the same as one in a 10 gallon.


I personally only stick to 1 thread anymore. My main reason is because I saw a lot of people being followers. They saw 1 person make a statement (False ones at that) and then decide to repeat it until most of the people on this site think it's fact. I also don't post on here because people will say one thing and then turn around and make the complete opposite argument 2 days later.

I'm tired of all the drama too which is why i joined a different forum and only come here for the aquabid thread really, but be careful who you blame for being the cause of people not posting on here.
I agree with this statement, seems there is a group on here that can do pretty much as they please and chase away people from the site, Maybe the mods will take note and actually be mods
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:22 AM   #4 
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Just to be clear, he isn't "blaming" anyone at all because it happens on lots of threads daily, all day long every day. It's a general statement to be nice to people and actually read if they want advise before you give it.

I also had issues with the whole under 2.5 gallon rule and the way people were treated who were looking for info in their bettas. Luckily that seems to have gotten better lately, especially with the 1 gallon thread showing how happy and healthy those tanks can be.

As a whole i just think that being nice to the person on the other side of the screen can always go a long way, no matter who they are or what they are discussing. Any time you try to tell someone they are doing pretty much everything to do with their tank wrong, it's a loaded situation and should be approached with care, nicely and with a lot of tact employed. Many, many people keep pets and especially fish to help with medical situations such as depression and above all we are speaking to a human being on the other side of the screen.

Heck, most of the threads lately I have read have been completely off topic about the care, the contents and the way people do their tanks but pretty much all the advise assumes a lot of information that the OP never actually says or ignores a lot of what they say and then input their own words.

It's not anything new it's been going on for the last year I've been reading this forum and it took me a good 8 months to actually join and become a contributing member because quite frankly I was scared to death of not knowing as much as I should and not being able to fit in the group that seemed to be here. Public forums are subject to all kinds but kindness is my first and foremost goal in my personal standards.
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Old 05-30-2013, 12:48 PM   #5 
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Gee, I feel lost. I have no idea what thread you're talking about, or what users..... Hopefully, it's not me, though! I'll just assume it's not. If it is, well, just tell me. (Does this make me sound slightly paranoid? LOL)

In general, I post on the Diseases/Emergency forum. If someone posts about a disease or illness that is unusual, I research the condition, along with medical and/or drug information before posting a reply. It actually takes a lot of time to do this.

In the end, it's up to the OP to decide what advice to follow. Do I think my advice is "correct?" Well, yes. Otherwise, I wouldn't have posted it. However, I recognize that not everyone thinks the way that I do. If they want to treat/medicate their fish differently, well, it's their fish. (I sometimes wonder why people "ask" for advice when they already have a set plan in mind. There are times when they ignore "sound advice," then show up a few months later, hysterical that their fish is ill, and I think to myself, "Well, what did they expect?")

As for habitats: I'd rather see a fish in a small tank with frequent water changes and the proper temperature, than one that's neglected in a large tank.

If you see a post that is rude, you can report it. I've noticed a big turnover in moderators lately. (With regard to the Diseases/Emergencies forum, OFL and Sakura were big losses!) So I don't know how this affects the response time, but in the past, a mod usually appeared pretty quickly when threads started to go bad.

Last edited by LittleBlueFishlets; 05-30-2013 at 12:56 PM.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:00 PM   #6 
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No littleblue, I have never seen you be rude or even give bad advise, and yes a lot of people do not listen too good advise and that can be very frustrating, so when someone refuses said advise all you can really do is roll your eyes, wish them luck and move on, they already knew what they wanted to do and were just looking for someone to back them up, posting your advise or your beliefs over and over again is fruitless and pointless and pretty much annoys everyone else reading the thread. Everyone has opinions and that is ok say your opinion and move on, if it's sound advise and they use it all is well if they don't they don't. I am sure lots of people would not do or attempt to do some of the things I am willing to try same could be said for you I am sure, if what I am trying does not work out I have learned something through experience if I succeed others can learn from what I did.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:06 PM   #7 
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Thank you LittleBlueFishlets you are correct, if at anytime you think someone is being rude to you or any other issue that is a concern for any of our members please report the post in question, you can also use the Discuss with Moderators thread on the bottom of the page, also feel free to pm one of the moderators. If one of us does not get back to right away I ask that you please be patient. We always want to know your concerns and issues but you must make us aware when a problem arises.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:13 PM   #8 
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Stone,

I think it's also a matter of approaching things with an open mind.

Yes, I may have a certain way of doing things. But sometimes, another poster has a BETTER way of doing the same thing. Why not change my fishkeeping habits to do things this better way?

For example, someone may keep their betta in a tiny, cold tank and feed it cheap food. But if they come onto this forum, and say, "Hey, it works for me! My fish isn't sick!", they shouldn't be surprised if people jump on them and say, "You've been lucky so far. Learn now, before a problem occurs.".... If they're smart, they'll learn that there are other ways (better ways) of keeping their fish. And if they don't want to listen, well, they shouldn't be surprised if/when the problem occurs.
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:19 PM   #9 
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Hi there,

My name is YUNG. I am the Admin for TFK and BF. You don't see me post much on the site simply because I don't own fish. Nonetheless, I appreciate the feedback all of you are giving.

With that said, can you elaborate with your comment of "Maybe the mods will take note and actually be mods?" I invite you to write in the Discuss with Moderators area and/or write to me in PM. I don't want to turn this into a free-for-all-let's-bash-the-mods but I feel there is more behind this comment you made that I believe can be used as feedback for our team (myself included). Thanks!




Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone View Post
I agree with this statement, seems there is a group on here that can do pretty much as they please and chase away people from the site, Maybe the mods will take note and actually be mods
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:23 PM   #10 
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LittleBlue I am more concerned about the mob mentality first one then another then another and yet another will join in no point in posting it over and over you know? either they listen or they don't liek I said can be frustrating can be annoying, and some will do the exact opposite just out of spite, like I said wish them luck and move on, and well read the thread topic if advise is not asked for do not give it especially in terms of you should never do this or that, say I personally would not do this, but if you must try it good luck and move on. and yes once the person says they do not want your advise it's best to just stop posting. People feel strongly these fish and some think their way is the bestest only way and seem to want to prove it, and that is where the problem really is
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