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Old 05-30-2013, 02:04 PM   #11 
wish4coner
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The only time I felt bad was when I posted pics of my new bettas and, many just tell me what physical aspect they didn't like, if it wasn't show quality. I get so excited when I get a new one and wanted to share this. I don't have any interest in show quality--I just love the breed. That's the only problem I have.

As for tank size, I think it is how you take care of your fish. I always say, "for me", because it is my personal preference. I like 3 gallon bowls as, they are easy to maintain, do daily changes and have small sponge filters in them and heaters. They are always clean. And, I absolutely love my fish and care for them.

And, let's face it--if you breed, you have to take the males out and, in most cases, the barracks used are 1 gallon or less jars. I'll be one using those when I have to separate. And, they will be cared for immensely, until sold or adopted.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:09 PM   #12 
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yep another valid point, I could understand if you posted in the show section of the forums but in the everyday ohh hey look at my new betta section it should not be happening but some people just have to be jerks
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:18 PM   #13 
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I started this thread to open up a discussion on the site about how to treat other people and how to be nice and be tactful I am not meaning this as a personal attack on any specific member, but more or less as a site as a whole, since I joined this site I am constantly seeing threads being derailed by people who think their intentions are good but they start telling people things that are not in fact, then they start posting over and over to prove their point, and by the time they are done people have stopped posting on the thread because of their little tirade, in the words of rodney king "can't we all just get along" we all love bettas and fish in general none of us are the godsend of all earthly fish knowledge now lets be civil and talk about fish and stop trying to be the internets biggest winner, I am pretty sure no one really wants that title or job, it pays very little and basically everyone mocks you behind your back
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:29 PM   #14 
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You know, I have never had a problem with the mods. I haven't been a member of this forum for as long as some members, but a mod has always been there to help if I needed it. They are also very encouraging to have you PM them. Being a mod on other sites, wouldn't you tell people that are not mods to leave the moderating to the mods? Most problems here seem to arise from members trying to be mods themselves & since I've joined April 1st the mods have asked for that to stop. They can't do their job if they aren't given a chance.

I think a lot of the problem you are talking about is people taking things the wrong way. Maybe some people need to be more careful about how they word somethings, but if you get offended look again. It's likely you took the words the wrong way (Before I get accused of attacking any 1 person, I mean 'you' in general, I am not meaning to point anyone in particular out). That's the biggest problem with the Internet. All you have are words. It can be hard to pick up on what someone means by missing the tone of voice and other nonverbal communication cues.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:29 PM   #15 
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Stone, I feel you are being hypocritical. You have several times in recent threads come across as very abrasive and borderline condescending.

Anecdotal evidence will never trump cold, hard facts. For example, ammonia is toxic to fish. Does this mean every fish will die when exposed to 5ppm of ammonia? No, but that doesn't change the truth of the initial statement. Just because someone's fish lived in a poorly maintained bowl for five years doesn't mean that ammonia becomes magically non-toxic to fish.

So is it rude of me to call someone out on that? Just because much of this hobby is based on personal experience doesn't mean that you cannot ever be wrong.

I think that it is passive-aggressive drama like this that is a big turn-off for a lot of members.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:38 PM   #16 
Manisha
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Hi, I am not very well known as I am fairly new member but I have been reading threads for a while before I joined. I personally decided to join as I noticed that the core people I see over and over...seem to me have a pretty strong and friendly community. I do observe that there are many "younger" members.(I'm not that old though... but an adult! ) I take in consideration past posts and threads when I take advice from what I have read. Just with any community...some have egos, some are sensative..I like the people I have meet here so far. :)
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:51 PM   #17 
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Just a reminder I am here if anyone needs support and lets keep this within the topic and not call any one member out by name. Its fine to disagree and as long as it stays civil and remember we are here to help each other not criticize. We do not want any member who wishes to post here to be afraid to do so because they might get called out by name.

Just try to keep it to in general how you feel about posting on the forum and any concerns you might have without having to call another member out by name. I hope that makes sense, your all doing a fine job lets keep it that way

Last edited by Perseusmom; 05-30-2013 at 02:55 PM.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:04 PM   #18 
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Well as someone who was one of several that had a recent disagreement with the OP, I feel that this who thread is alluding to certain members. I honestly don't see how that is any different from calling individual members out by name. One only has to go back through the OP's posting history to see the couple of threads where there was some disagreement.

I don't see the point in this thread at all if it wasn't aimed at certain members in particular.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:07 PM   #19 
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I have to agree with LBF. Before you ask people to examine their own behaviour, please evaluate your own first, because as human beings, we all should be mindful of what we say and how we act. Change starts with the individual. If someone wants something to improve, they must be representative of what they hope to achieve.

The first post I made today was this--because when I checked the forum this morning, the first thing I saw was an argument--and I'll quote it here:

"...Stone, I have been on at least three threads now where you two attacked other members for [supposedly] being mindless parrots and giving advice "based on one or two articles" they've read...

Dispute people about fish care and methodology all you want if you find what they say baseless, but you talk about how people are hostile and jump on others for their practices, and I have to point out your hypocrisy. Hardly anyone was being intentionally belligerent (there is a difference between a simple observation and forcing your views on others) and then, you two come rushing in with guns ablazing..."

A forum is an open community for debate and discussion. Whether you want advice or not, expect to get varying opinions. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree, everyone should be treated with respect and civilly. I admit it. I do get riled up sometimes. Everyone has their moments. But we all should try our best to make everyone feel welcome.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:12 PM   #20 
wish4coner
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I was an internet moderator for years; both in chat sites and on message boards (forums). It's a very hard job as, you can't please everyone.

I am not upset here or afraid to post--just simply brought up one thing that hurt my feelings, as a new member. It just made me feel I had made a very bad choice and that's all. Now, I've been here for a while and I understand that, some have bettas for one thing, some for another and now, I just state that, I am not interesting in showing, any time new but, am learning as I go along. I have gotten great advice and even met a few friends on here (online, anyway). I got some great help and a lot of support.

I thank all of you. I too have to read a post, several times to ensure someone isn't saying something the wrong way. Sometimes, I will reply on the screen but not post. It takes out the anxiety without hurting feelings. :) Then, when I look back I realize, it was good that I didn't post as, it was NOT meant the way I first took it.

Thanks for everything, to moderators and members. I really need all of you, and so do my bettas!
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