Just the pH one. The stick-on thingy says 0.0 for ammonia, DESPITE said fish-guy being an idiot.
Me: My tester says 0 ammonia.
Him: Water in your town is extremely high in pH and has lots of ammonia.
Me: But, the tester says 0.0 exactly. The color doesn't even have any tint of green.
Him: Do you have plants in your water?
Me: Two Amazon Swords.
Him: Yeah, that's not enough. You need to get this. *hands something that I immediately put down*
Me: I'd rather not put in more than I should. I picked up some meds from Wal-Mart at 3 AM--
Him: Don't buy anything from Wal-Mart. They don't take care of their fish.
Then...
Me: I put in a tablespoon of Aquarium Salt...
Him: Bettas HATE salt. I would not put any more in there.
Me: Why not?
Him: They live in mud puddles, not the ocean.
*facepalm*