So nothing I do is good enough for my boss, this is the third time I've "Screwed up" as he so lightly puts it and I'm effing tired of hearing that phrase.
Okay so we've got five vans with the licence plates; 1942, 1956, 1369, 1138 and 1727. Now I'm in charge of these van's and putting out the key's and approving people's request for them for field trips for the building and their classes. They're also used for labs for when they need to go out and collect samples. Occasionally we have the people who don't return their key's after they go out, they come in the next day or so. Now the issue with that is that I need to use these key's for the next person who needs them. Each van has two set's of key's so usually that's not too much an issue.
Now my biggest thing was this past weekend one of our guy's took the two van's out: 1727 and apparently 1138 however I did not fill out the envelopes, my boss Nasir did. It was also not on the calendar so how am I to know that these key's went out? So yesterday I had taken all the envelopes in from Monday and start to prepare to put the new ones out for Tuesday. How I do it is I take out all the key's and put them back in their binder's first to see if anyone is missing. And then I take out the trip tickets which is just a little paper where you write the mileage or are supposed to, half the people don't do it which pisses me off. And then I put them back in the folder to take out the new ones for the new day.
Yesterday I noticed two key's were out, 1727 and I swear it was 1369, I absolutely swear it because these two are the least used so I notice when they're out because it's not normal. So I wrote a note to my boss since I don't technically work on Tuesday and he doesn't get in till 9. I told him the two key's were missing if this person from the weekend hadn't turned in their key's yet which they've been known to do in the past.
So wrote him a note and came in today and he starts off by saying "So...what's going on?" and that always mean's that I've "screwed up" so I'm like....what the hell did I do now? So he continues to ask about the note I wrote and why I saw 1727 and 1369. Apparently he looked out in the lockbox where the key's go out and said he saw the key there....now he won't even let me get a word in when I try to tell him that I saw the key missing before I even put any other key's out and that Sidio had brought the key's back last night so I had both 1727 and 1369. He told me that Sidio had used 1727 and 1138 which he was right, so which leads me to say that me, being dyslexic and ADHD, had switched around the numbers. But I swear that 1369 was also missing and this is before I even sent out the new keys. I looked to see who had it last and the last person was Friday, the key's had not been used and we were returned so how the hell was 1369 missing if no one used it and it suddenly pops up?
He starts to give me this spiel about how it's important to pay attention and that I should be taking more care in which I agree but I haven't told him about my disability, he has no idea although he's gotten quite the taste of it. So question, how the hell do I tell him that I've actually been sick lately, the meds are making me so sick in the morning that it's a struggle for me to eat breakfast. Normally I down breakfast like there's no tomorrow, it's my favorite meal after all and I CANNOT skip it! Two Monday's ago I was sick and didn't even come into work after calling him and today sick again but I came back in.
So how the heck do I tell him I've been sick without looking like a fool because I know I don't look sick, I hardly ever do even after I've thrown up in the girls bathroom...and then of course when I'm feeling anxious, or moody or depressed, I can never stay that way. I'm always smiling and cheery so people never believe me when I say I'm actually depressed and it's infuriating. I hate crying in front of people (who does, seriously) and I know that if I start to talk to him I'm just going to burst out in tears from weeks of building up all this pressure.
I'm sorry to vent on you guys but obviously I needed to talk to someone. Facebook seriously isn't the place to do it and I'd vent to my best friend but normally it's the other way around and I'm not there when she's there and visaversa so it's hard to see her
I really need to just talk to someone other than my mother though and just give a good cry.
On a good note I just got permission to use the microscopes at school! Linda is the best
she even showed me where the alcohol is placed so I can sanitize the place after I use it. And because next week is Columbus day, apparently all labs are out for the week which means I can use any darn microscope I want to at any time! So I think next week I'll euthanize one of my girls, one of the more worse ones and take her in to examine her. It's between Mystique, Cherry and Raven since they're the worse of the bunch but neither are bad enough to die :-/
I'm thinking just to do it with Mystique since she's the biggest which will make it easier to cut and look around, Cherry is tiny and literally all bone so I don't think I could ever do it on her just because she's so small, same with Raven actually. Sorry if I gross anyone out by talking about it. Anyway, trying to get commissions done :-/