Yea, and I never seem to learn that lesson no matter how many times it ends up happening. Although really, it isn't much of a party, since I'm always alone and parties are supposed to be fun. Haha. But seriously, I'm a pretty gigantic mess, especially if you look at my history. I honestly don't know how I'm not locked up somewhere (well, again that is). Man, things got intense really quickly. I am so not good at the whole filter thing, where you slowly let people in on your craziness so as not to overwhelm them. :P
Thank you, hearing (or rather, reading) that always means a lot to me. I'm glad that I can post this stuff here, because I can only tell my husband the same thing so many times, and I don't really have any friends. Well, let me explain that. There are some people I do consider my "friends", but we never talk. Like my best friend, who I've known for seven years, has an incredibly busy life, and runs with a different crowd than I do. We went from talking every day to having a five minute conversation every few months. I'm not good at making new friends, or keeping old ones, so it feels good to be able to come here and write about what's going on. Even if no one were to read it, it's nice to get it out of my system.
For me, the fact that you're reading and responding to what I have to say is helpful. It's like someone actually notices the fact that I exist. People used to know me in high school as "the girl who sits by herself at lunch and cries". Hardly anyone ever took the time to even find out what my name was. I have a lot to say, I just don't really get the chance to say it, or to be heard if I do.
A lot of people are cruel and selfish and stupid. Actually, everyone is sometimes. Some more often than others. Do not think that nobody cares based on your bad experiences in the past. There is always somebody that does. Everyone is valuable to someone.
Amen to that! :P I know that people care, especially my husband. Every day I wonder how I got so lucky to find a guy like him. Or rather, change my mind about him. Haha. But that's a story for another day. ;)
That song pretty much covered it. Haha. Music for me can go one of two ways: it can make me feel better or at least temporarily distract me, or it can make me more upset. Of course it usually depends on my song choice, and I tend to lean towards depressing music.
Man today was rough! This morning was a total disaster, and I was completely hysterical until I could get my daughter to take a nap. I'm definitely having a harder and harder time with taking care of her lately, so hopefully I can get on some medication soon. Later I had to take her to her four month appointment for some shots... Whoo hoo! Normally my husband takes me to all her appointments but he had to work today, so my brother drove me and I went in with her alone. Watching her get shots is so difficult for me, I had to keep myself from crying! I know they are for her protection, but seeing her in pain is really overwhelming, especially since she's just a baby and I can't explain it to her. Luckily she did really well, and didn't freak out for too long. On a good note, we figured out something that works like magic to calm her down: a Baby Bjorn! All we have to do is put her in it facing out and she's happy as a clam until she passes out and flops over the front. :P
So far today has been fairly good. We got most of the house cleaned, sorted through my daughter's clothes to see what still fit (they grow so fast!), and I got to take a shower, which has gone from once a day to whenever I can manage to take one. Haha. Me and my husband got our daughter to laugh for a few minutes, which was so much fun since she just recently started doing that. Her laugh is like my favorite sound in the world, and I can't be upset when I hear it (which is why I NEED to get it on camera). I talked to my husband about it, and I have decided to post a picture of my daughter, so here she is:
This was about two months ago, so she's only two months old, and it's one of my favorite pictures. :)
Thank you. :) My mother-in-law gave us some of my husband's baby pictures, and she is like his CLONE. It is insane how much alike they look. They both have the same smile and laugh too.
Today I'll actually be talking about something Betta related (crazy, I know). So we're moving our King back into his own ten gallon, instead of in half a twenty long that's divided between him and my Betta, Link. After watching him I just felt like he doesn't have enough swimming space, since the dimensions of the ten gallon are bigger than the space he's in now. And of course that leaves the other half of the twenty long empty... :P There is a local fish store that we go to (Aquarium Co-op) that has some Betta fish, and I'm super torn between two of them. One is a red, white, and blue crowntail, who I have just been drawn to every time I've gone there the last few weeks. He is missing a chunk of his beard, so his "chin" looks a bit funny. The second one is a blue veiltail that is kept on a shelf at knee level, and I'm almost positive I'm the only one who even knows he's down there. He's always in the corner with clamped fins and stress stripes, and so I feel like he needs to go to a good home soon. I honestly don't know which one to choose. I want them both, but only have space for one of them. If any of you guys have any thoughts on the matter I'd love to hear them. I want to try and decide by this coming weekend.