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Old 06-09-2014, 05:57 PM   #1 
appleandpebble
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Angry How do I tell him..(neglect of tank/fish)

My brother has a 130+ liter tank and hasn't been taking care of it too well.. I should not really care but this tank is actually half mine (we bought the fish, plants and needed products together). It's just more 'his' because he bought the tank (second hand one, 5 euro's with cleaning system included) and it's in his room..

Now here's the problem. a lot of fish died. and then I mean A LOT. (in a short period of time: 10 + neons, 6 guppies, 5 platy's, 1 big ass pleco, 1 halfbeak, 2 gouramis, 4 moonfish,..).
what did survive? 3 platy's that are terribly sick, 3 Guppies, 4 neons and 1 halfbeak. that's really not a lot of fish for 130 liters. but they still die. the plants and sand is covered with algae. everything is dying in there..

Now I helped him a lot. I cleaned the tank more than he ever did. I cut and thrown every single rotten piece of plant out.. He does not even take the dead bodies out! I did that after 2 days ( I was gone, when I saw the body my brother said that he already saw it, but did nothing.)..

Im very angry. A lot of my own money and time and energy went to his tank. but because of my studies (my brother doesn't study/work) I can't be 24/24 at home, cleaning the tank.

I did everything I could do for that tank. the cleaning, the sand filtering, cleaning the stones, buying this water conditioner (*** expensive!) and other products for the plants, against algae, you name it.. nothing helped.

I already tried to talk with him, I want him to take more responsibility and take care of the tank he needed so badly. He just won't listen.. Now maybe I wasn't clear enough or something.. I don't know... please help. maybe you guys are better in talking with people than I do. btw: my brother is 24 years old. he's not 8.


sorry for the English. im Dutch.
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Old 06-09-2014, 06:45 PM   #2 
jaysee
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I would either try to have him buy me out and not be concerned with it anymore, or buy him out and move the tank to your room. Or just accept the fact that you have to maintain the tank that's in his room.

24 with no job and no school living at home? Sounds like he needs a kick in the ass....
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Old 06-09-2014, 07:55 PM   #3 
RussellTheShihTzu
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Originally Posted by jaysee View Post
I would either try to have him buy me out and not be concerned with it anymore, or buy him out and move the tank to your room. Or just accept the fact that you have to maintain the tank that's in his room.

24 with no job and no school living at home? Sounds like he needs a kick in the ass....
"Yep" to all.
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Old 06-10-2014, 01:17 AM   #4 
appleandpebble
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well okay.. since I don't have time/space for his tank I will let him now that from now on, He's alone.
He'll have to buy his own products/medication/food/whatever.
yeah,.. he's 24 and indeed not doing a single thing here (just playing games all day long). at first I was also very angry for him doing nothing but after his failed attempt of suicide I think there's more going on. anyway.. He's my brother. I love him but he's just ****ty at taking care of his tank (and himself).
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Old 06-10-2014, 10:42 AM   #5 
charliegill110
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Originally Posted by appleandpebble View Post
well okay.. since I don't have time/space for his tank I will let him now that from now on, He's alone.
He'll have to buy his own products/medication/food/whatever.
yeah,.. he's 24 and indeed not doing a single thing here (just playing games all day long). at first I was also very angry for him doing nothing but after his failed attempt of suicide I think there's more going on. anyway.. He's my brother. I love him but he's just ****ty at taking care of his tank (and himself).
he might be severely depressed, when your depressed its really hard to do anything..
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Old 06-10-2014, 05:09 PM   #6 
iElBeau
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It sounds like your brother may be depressed. I doubt he's intentionally killing the fish, it's just too hard for him to do the work required to maintain it (depression can be severely debilitating).

I would suggest taking the time to deal with it yourself, and try involving him in the process. Get him excited about it again. Try things like "Hey I need to do a water change today, would you be able to help me out?" if it doesn't work on a spur of the moment thing, make a plan/set a date, and see if that makes a difference.

If not, you may have to wait it out and deal with it either on your own (who knows, your brother might come back around, perhaps suggest he get help?), or shut the tank down. As long as the fish are healthy, many stores will be more than happy to buy back/adopt the fish so they can go to a future home.

Best of luck!
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Old 06-10-2014, 05:22 PM   #7 
xShainax
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Originally Posted by appleandpebble View Post
well okay.. since I don't have time/space for his tank I will let him now that from now on, He's alone.
He'll have to buy his own products/medication/food/whatever.
yeah,.. he's 24 and indeed not doing a single thing here (just playing games all day long). at first I was also very angry for him doing nothing but after his failed attempt of suicide I think there's more going on. anyway.. He's my brother. I love him but he's just ****ty at taking care of his tank (and himself).
Sounds like he is depressed. I have bi-polar and I am ashamed to admit this, when I get depressed I don't do anything with my betta's except feed them until it blows over. Depression is a horrible disease and it's not your brothers fault.
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Old 06-11-2014, 08:47 AM   #8 
givemethatfish
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In my opinion, no it's not your brother's fault if he indeed is depressed and that is causing him to neglect the tank. However, it is is fault if he won't allow you to take over and care for the fish when he's incapable. Having an illness doesn't exempt you from responsibility.
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Old 06-12-2014, 01:52 AM   #9 
aselvarial
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If your brother is indeed depressed, abandoning the fish in his care will only make it worse. He will get more depressed as he will think he can't even keep fish alive, but the depression will make him unmotivated to actually DO anything (speaking from experience here). I know you said you were busy, but try to check the tank real quickly every day, and do 30 minutes or so of maintenance once a week.
Pets have been proven to be good for ppl with depression. Unfortunately fish can be a lot of work and die easily, so they can also be bad for it. Look at it as helping your brother fight his depression, and less as having to care for his fish.
If you can set a schedule, you know, maintenance on this day, at this time, check in on fish every day at this time, schedules help. It may even eventually get him into the "fish maintenance done at this time" and even if you aren't there he will do it.
This is, of course, assuming that your brother is actually depressed, and doesn't just need a kick in the pants.
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