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Old 11-30-2013, 07:36 PM   #171 
Chachi
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Just read all of this and all I have to add is that I think that we all just need to follow our hearts....I don't care if people are heterosexual, homosexual, asexual or whatever...as long as you're not harming anyone you should be free to live your life the way your heart tells you to! We are what we are and I hate the idea of anyone hiding their "true self" to be what other people think they should be. If someone is homosexual and gets into a heterosexual marriage that's not fair to any of the parties involved. I dunno... I believe that we all have the right to be happy and we need to be free to follow our heart to be truly happy. I also don't believe that it's my place to judge others....as a Christian I believe that only God has that right and that everyone was created by God and he doesn't make mistakes so obviously some people were meant to be homosexual, asexual, etc. Enough of my rambling...
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Old 11-30-2013, 07:50 PM   #172 
Olympia
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Thanks you both. :)
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Old 12-09-2013, 08:30 PM   #173 
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I'm demisexual and panromantic, so yes, I fall under the ace umbrella, ace pride <3

Definitions:
asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction
demisexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction after a deep emotional and psychological bond has been established
graysexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction, but it's extremely rare
:)

Last edited by Perseusmom; 12-12-2013 at 09:23 PM. Reason: removed link that was found not family-friendly . Removed statement, not family friendly .
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:23 AM   #174 
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In some ways I feel like this thread is "done", but two things bug me.

First thing that bugs me: Protecting the Kids
I was 14 years old when I started to notice, worried that others would notice by 16 years old, and finally brave enough to come out at 18 years old. I honestly thought I was "broken" for 4 years because I didn't know bisexuality existed or that other people were bisexual like me. I would have become comfortable in my own skin in much less than 4 years if part of my identity as a human being wasn't hidden from me until college.

I know that sounds harsh and angry, but I still have some left over bitterness about all that unnecessary emotional turmoil 10 years later. A large number of adults protecting you from who you are as a person because they think your identity is so wrong that it will corrupt your purity the moment you discover yourself, is a feeling that is impossible to explain. I don't know how young the OP is, but I'm glad she is looking for support before it is "safe" for her to learn that she isn't broken or alone.

There is nothing wrong with the original purpose of this thread.


Second thing that bugs me: The "Choice" vs. "Born" Debate This Thread Gradually Turned Into

Unlike the first part of my post, this part of the thread does not fill me with unending rage. Sexual orientation can get confusing once you step out of man-loves-woman-both-make-baby-buy-house-get-dog bubble. I'm also not mad when people ask me if my out of my "bisexual phase" because there is research to prove that both heterosexual and homosexual people do have bisexual tendancies that fade away a bit as puberty ends.

Therefore, I offer all of you my "How to Understand Your Bisexual Daughter's/Granddaughter's/Sister's/Niece's/Friend's Identity" cheat sheet. It helped the majority of my family friends understand why I'm not in an eternal phase even if my love life can make me look "confused" or "still deciding". I figure this is not totally off topic because "choice" versus "born that way" questions are a part of life for all members of the LGBTQ community on some level and in different ways.

If you are not interested, you can stop reading now.

The Whole Me:
Bisexual female who identifies as female and has platonic and romantic relationships with people regardless of his/her/hir biological sex or gender identity

Me Broken Up Into Parts:
Biological Sex(born with) = Female
Sexual Orientation (born with) = Bisexual
Gender (expressed) = Female
Platonic Relationships (chosen) = Possible. For some reason, a lot of people who are heterosexual or homosexual say they can't be friends with the sex or gender they are attracted to, but I do it all the time.
Romantic Relationships (chosen) = Monogamous. Being attracted to multiple gender identities doesnot mean I have to date more than one person at a time to be happy.
***Potential Partners (fluid) = male, female, or gender neutral/transgender

Legend:
(born with) = Was not Chosen and can't be changed
(expressed) = Conscious decision of how I want to be perceived by others
(chosen) = Conscious decision of how I want to interact with people I meet
(fluid) = Changes like the wind

In Summary:
Bisexual = (born with) = Bisexual no matter who I date
Relationship = (chosen) = Heterosexual or Homosexual based on who I choose to date
When I am with a man, I am a bisexual in a heterosexual relationship.
When I am with a woman, I am a bisexual in a homosexual relationship.
Bisexuals can be in heterosexual or homosexual relationships, but we do not switch between being heterosexual and homosexual.
A Bisexual is always bisexual even when the orientation of the relationship changes.


***My care sheet is done, but I wanted to put the clarification my Mom needed down here. She couldn't understand how I knew I was attracted to both males and females while I was still a virgin, but still assumed I was lesbian when I was single at 17. It was like she thought I would date a guy if I was straight, be single only if I was lesbian, and that only bad girls were bi for the sole purpose of making their parents miserable or to be cool. She believed in a lot of myths.

Potential Partner = Crush = The person I am attracted to from a distance.
I do not have to be intimate with someone for that person to be "potential partner" material. In fact, the person doesn't even have to be real to be a "potential partner" because I've had crushes on fictional anime/manga/movie characters of both sexes. The same way heterosexuals know when they are attracted to someone of the opposite sex without being intimate, I can know when I am attracted to someone of the opposite sex or same sex without being intimate. It really is a "same scene, different cast" scenario when it comes to crushes. Crushing on other people does not change from sexual orientation to sexual orientation.

If you have read for this long, you get a double thanks
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:54 AM   #175 
jaysee
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Excellent post
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:44 PM   #176 
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Liked jaysee's post. I thought I was bi at one time. Now that I've gotten older I know I'm heterosexual who is attracted to both sexes. I like other girls but I don't want to actually have any kind of relationship with them not even a one night stand.
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Old 12-10-2013, 03:20 PM   #177 
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Originally Posted by Survivor2013 View Post
Liked jaysee's post. I thought I was bi at one time. Now that I've gotten older I know I'm heterosexual who is attracted to both sexes. I like other girls but I don't want to actually have any kind of relationship with them not even a one night stand.
Thank you. If you like labels that would be called heteroflexible.
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Old 12-12-2013, 08:11 PM   #178 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumo View Post
I'm demisexual and panromantic, so yes, I fall under the ace umbrella, ace pride <3

Definitions:
asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction
demisexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction after a deep emotional and psychological bond has been established
graysexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction, but it's extremely rare
:)

Sexual stimulus from objects is a fetish and not related to orientations :)
So, if I want to develope a connection before sexual attraction, does that make me demisexual and straight? I'm confused.
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Old 12-12-2013, 08:41 PM   #179 
preternaturalism
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Originally Posted by PetMania View Post
So, if I want to develope a connection before sexual attraction, does that make me demisexual and straight? I'm confused.
That depends whether you actually develop that connection before attraction hits or not. Those three terms usually relate to what you feel, not how you act, which is unfortunate since terms like bisexual, homosexual, and heterosexual can relate to both whether you feel attraction and whether you act on it. The terminology is so muddled I have little to no patience for it.
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:15 AM   #180 
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You know I think I'd like to retract what I said ealier about my being asexual as I believe it was born of dispair and depression. The story about my lost love is true.

What made me come to this realization? Oddly a dream. In a dream I came to be in the embrace of a man and we shared a loving kiss that led to other more adult things. I awoke in an amazing mood like a new fire had been born in me. I can say that I haven't dreamed like that in an age. Pehaps it was my heart telling me what my true love is. That my search must be renewed and redoubled. :D
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