No one on the forum has bashed you or insinuated your a bad fish owner.. if you want that head on over to UB.. they are MUCH less kind over there.
As I said before you cannot keep an apple snail and a betta together in a small tank. Small apple snails become big apple snails.. a full grown apple snail looks like this..
and no that is not doctored. If a person takes good care of an apple snail it should reach this size. They eat a LOT and poop a LOT. They need at least a 5 gallon tank to be with a fish with a 10+ gallon tank being ideal.
Water changes have nothing to do with it.. there is simply no space. If you want to starve your snail to keep it small thats your right.. but I can guarantee you the snail will not live a long time.(The life expectancy of an apple snail is 3-5 years with snails recorded living as long as 10 years).