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Old 02-13-2012, 07:36 AM   #11971 
yyankeeyankeefan
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people are just sick and twisted when it comes to owning pets. you see it every day. dogs and cats abused because people don't want to train them. small caged animals in cages to small or un-changed bedding. fish over stocked to the point they can't turn around.....

sadly these people live there lives like nothing is wrong, because in their sick twisted minds it is ok. it's not harming them at all, they are only animals so who cares right? wish i could stick them in a cage and only change them 1once a month. see how they like that. or stick them in a small glass box where every time they turn around their nose is touching the glass. i will grab a recliner and watch...... see how they like it!
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Old 02-13-2012, 07:42 AM   #11972 
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*sigh* Apparently it's acceptable and even really great when my mom hears about someone ELSE going into some sort of art education, even though me going into music education has made me the black sheep of the family. We had company over and they were talking about how one of our cousins is going to school for dance education and is working in a daycare to get experience working with kids, and my mom acted like that was just WONDERFUL. And it made me want to hurt someone. Because my parents think it's TERRIBLE that I'm going for music education. And I work at a local music store teaching private singing lessons, and my parents don't treat it like it's my job. Another teacher and I are planning to start up a new program there, and I was talking to my parents about it and they were like "Wait... You're going to get PAID to teach that...?" And then they talk about my lessons like it's just something I do for fun. And then they COMPLETELY invalidate my job when they comment about how some music just can't be learned (COMPLETE BS).

Ugh. It just makes me so frustrated. One, if they can appreciate someone ELSE going into some sort of art education, WHY can't they support ME in MY chosen field? And if I'm starting a program and I'm going to be TEACHING these kids, WHY is it such a surprise that I'm going to get paid for it? I WORK at the store. It's my JOB. Last I checked, people don't go to work to do things for free. AND while I DO enjoy teaching and most of the time I enjoy giving lessons, there are days when it's NOT fun. There are times when my students drive me NUTS. And it bothers me that my parents act like this is just some sort of fun extra curricular activity instead of a job.

I'm just frustrated. I'm the kind of person who NEEDS approval from other people, and the fact that my parents are so ready and willing to approve of everyone BUT me makes me crazy. And the whole idea that I should be doing my job for free also drives me nuts. Over the summer, my parents were on my case to get a job. Now I've found one. And I only work a couple hours a week, but the hourly pay is more than TRIPLE what my sister got per hour when she was working AND it's all off the books so it doesn't get taxed and I get to keep everything I earn. So it's a pretty good deal for me. And my parents have found a way to disapprove of THAT, too?

Oh! And I'm SURE they remember the time my sister's boss made her work through a snowstorm where they were predicting blizzard conditions? I NEVER have to worry about that, because I'm always at liberty to call my students and cancel their lessons provided I give them make-up lessons later on. And because I get paid directly by my students and then pay the store rent, there's no possible way they could be losing money on me, so there's no risk in me getting laid off if they start losing money.

I just don't understand why they can't approve of my job. The arrangement works out pretty great for me. I only work weekends AND I can move lessons around when I need to, so it doesn't interfere with school. The hourly pay's pretty darn good, it'll look GREAT on a resume when I'm out of college and applying for jobs in schools, it helps me with school because teaching and having to correct students has been really improving my ear, I make FRIENDS and interact with a lot of people at work, which my parents should think is great since they're convinced I'm a recluse with no friends, AND I make kids smile.

There's NOTHING wrong with my job or my choice in major. I don't understand why my parents can't just be happy that I've found a field I enjoy and be happy that I found a wonderful job and I'm getting a lot of experience in the field that'll look great when I'm applying for jobs in schools.


i know how you feel. i am the black sheep on both sides of my family. not for the same reasons but still none the less. my parents don't really give two shakes about me or anything about me. my father thought i was 6 for 4 years..... i still have the happy 6th birthday cards....all 4 of them. but oh well. i learned early on (when i was about 8) that if you spend your life looking for someone to validate you, and give you the love and respect that you deserve as a human being....then you could possibly spend your whole life trying to do so. sometimes you have to live life for you and not care about what others think. your doing something with your life that makes YOU happy. it also enriches the lives of OTHERS, who will in turn be thankful to YOU! and appreciate what you do to make their lives better. yeah, your parents might not see it like this, but as long as you do, that is what matters. you have to love yourself because sometimes, your the only one who truly gets you
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Old 02-13-2012, 08:03 AM   #11973 
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this brings me to my rant of the day...

i am so tired of being the black sheep from every side. seriously! just because i am not like everyone else doesn't mean i have something wrong with me, doesn't mean that i am less of a person. my father's side doesn't like me because i don't allow most of them around my kids because they are all drug dealers/users. so the ones who are not, are mad because i don't like the ones who are. because they are "family" i should automatically let them into my children's lives....i am sure that is fine for them but not for me. keep in mind i met my father's side of the family (all minus my father of course) when i was 18...i am 22 now...not like i grew up with them. my mother's side of the family doesn't do well at all with each other. but because my mother and i hate each other (and i am serious when i say hate each other!) everyone doesn't want to talk to me because i don't "respect my mother" just because she gave birth to me....yes she did...great job......that gives her the right to spend the first 11 years of my life beating me so badly sometimes i couldn't move.....or locking me in a closet for days.....or stabbing me......yes....lets give her mother of the year....while we are at it....i think i will kick a puppy too (sarcasm i would never hurt an animal like that!)...wth is wrong with ppl! just because you all had great childhoods and enjoyed your time and a "grateful" your parents raised you...doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way. so because i don't fall into line and feel the way i am "expected" to feel about my "family" just because they are by biology family....i am looked at as the black sheep because i expect to be treated as a human being and nothing less. i don't want to get caught up in anything that will get me in jail. i don't want to deal with constant drama. and i don't want to expose my children to harmful people. but sadly to do this means i have excluded family members and the others get upset for me doing so, so i have no one at all. the only "family" that i have are people who divorced my parents.....so they are not even "family" anymore. but they are to me and that is what matters! if they can't love me for who i am, and respect what i am trying to provide for my children....then to heck with them. it is where they belong anyways. i just wish that i had some sort of support from someone that is actually related to me!

Last edited by dramaqueen; 02-14-2012 at 12:53 AM.
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Old 02-13-2012, 08:31 AM   #11974 
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Originally Posted by yyankeeyankeefan View Post
this brings me to my rant of the day...

i am so tired of being the black sheep from every side. seriously! just because i am not like everyone else doesn't mean i have something wrong with me, doesn't mean that i am less of a person. my father's side doesn't like me because i don't allow most of them around my kids because they are all drug dealers/users. so the ones who are not, are mad because i don't like the ones who are. because they are "family" i should automatically let them into my children's lives....i am sure that is fine for them but not for me. keep in mind i met my father's side of the family (all minus my father of course) when i was 18...i am 22 now...not like i grew up with them. my mother's side of the family doesn't do well at all with each other. but because my mother and i hate each other (and i am serious when i say hate each other!) everyone doesn't want to talk to me because i don't "respect my mother" just because she gave birth to me....yes she did...great job......that gives her the right to spend the first 11 years of my life beating me so badly sometimes i couldn't move.....or locking me in a closet for days.....or stabbing me......yes....lets give her mother of the year....while we are at it....i think i will kick a puppy too (sarcasm i would never hurt an animal like that!)...wth is wrong with ppl! just because you all had great childhoods and enjoyed your time and a "grateful" your parents raised you...doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way. so because i don't fall into line and feel the way i am "expected" to feel about my "family" just because they are by biology family....i am looked at as the black sheep because i expect to be treated as a human being and nothing less. i don't want to get caught up in anything that will get me in jail. i don't want to deal with constant drama. and i don't want to expose my children to harmful people. but sadly to do this means i have excluded family members and the others get upset for me doing so, so i have no one at all. the only "family" that i have are people who divorced my parents.....so they are not even "family" anymore. but they are to me and that is what matters! if they can't love me for who i am, and respect what i am trying to provide for my children....then to hell with them. it is where they belong anyways. i just wish that i had some sort of support from someone that is actually related to me!
That's terrible, you do have more than you mentioned though. You have your babies and... well... us! Your doing the right thing. My parents kept me away from bad family members too. If people don't like it oh well. Your a great mom in my eyes for keeping your kids from harm. yay for GOOD moms everywhere!
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Old 02-13-2012, 08:39 AM   #11975 
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Red face

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That's terrible, you do have more than you mentioned though. You have your babies and... well... us! Your doing the right thing. My parents kept me away from bad family members too. If people don't like it oh well. Your a great mom in my eyes for keeping your kids from harm. yay for GOOD moms everywhere!
thank you.
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Old 02-13-2012, 08:45 AM   #11976 
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thank you.
Your welcome!
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Old 02-13-2012, 11:12 AM   #11977 
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That's terrible Yankee.
I had to make the decision to not see my biological father at a very tender age ( when I was about 11) and as I've grown older I'm very glad I did. I don't want to be apart of his life because of the lifestyle he chose when I was an infant and the lifestyle he lives now. I reevaluated what I wanted with him when I moved to the same city as him for school and decided to just keep him out of my life. I have all I need in other family members. About 2 weeks ago, though, I saw him at a store while I was with a friend and I quickly walked down a different aisle. He definitely didn't see me but I had to explain to my friend that I didn't want him to. She said that was kind of harsh of me, but some people don't understand that just because I have half of his genes doesn't mean he's been any kind of parental figure in my life. I've seen him probably a handful of times in my almost 20 years and he doesn't contribute a single thing to me, whether it be emotional or financial support so I don't feel I owe anything to him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you shouldn't feel bad about cutting people out of your life and keeping them from your children. I think it's a very responsible choice in the long run.

Last edited by SaylorKennedy; 02-13-2012 at 11:16 AM.
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Old 02-13-2012, 12:08 PM   #11978 
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That's terrible Yankee.
I had to make the decision to not see my biological father at a very tender age ( when I was about 11) and as I've grown older I'm very glad I did. I don't want to be apart of his life because of the lifestyle he chose when I was an infant and the lifestyle he lives now. I reevaluated what I wanted with him when I moved to the same city as him for school and decided to just keep him out of my life. I have all I need in other family members. About 2 weeks ago, though, I saw him at a store while I was with a friend and I quickly walked down a different aisle. He definitely didn't see me but I had to explain to my friend that I didn't want him to. She said that was kind of harsh of me, but some people don't understand that just because I have half of his genes doesn't mean he's been any kind of parental figure in my life. I've seen him probably a handful of times in my almost 20 years and he doesn't contribute a single thing to me, whether it be emotional or financial support so I don't feel I owe anything to him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you shouldn't feel bad about cutting people out of your life and keeping them from your children. I think it's a very responsible choice in the long run.
i am glad that i have made the choices i have made as well. i went over 11 years without talking to my father. by my own choice. and i have started that same thing with him again. it's not always the easiest choice but it is the right one
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Old 02-14-2012, 01:01 AM   #11979 
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I can definitely understand the choices you guys have made. I didn't see my dad hardly at all the last 4 years of his life. He was an alcoholic and I didn't want to be around him when he was deinking, which was all the time. I had people telling me I better go see my dad or he was going to die and I'd be sorry. People who don't live with or have never lived with substance abusers or child/spouse abusers don't understand why we choose to not be around the people who have hurt us.
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Old 02-14-2012, 07:44 AM   #11980 
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I can definitely understand the choices you guys have made. I didn't see my dad hardly at all the last 4 years of his life. He was an alcoholic and I didn't want to be around him when he was deinking, which was all the time. I had people telling me I better go see my dad or he was going to die and I'd be sorry. People who don't live with or have never lived with substance abusers or child/spouse abusers don't understand why we choose to not be around the people who have hurt us.
i know what you mean. everyone says once they are gone you will be sorry....i really don't see how that is so. so many people are willing to give their opinion and not relies that if you haven't been there, then you just don't know.it's not like we woke up one day and said "hey....i don't feel like having my parent(S) in my life anymore....they didn't let me go to that concert when i was 12" there has to be real problems, real pain, real thought put into that decision. don't feel like you have to back up what you feel is the right decision. you made it for a reason. and the only one you have to answer to for it is you! because at the end of the day, the people telling you other wise don't have to live with the choice. you do.

if anything my life has been better since i have made the choices i have made, and to be brutally honest i don't give to shakes of a lamb's tail if either one should kick the bucket. both my parents were less then tolerable growing up. i would have killed for the parents who were horrible when you are a kid and you think about it as an adult and in retro spec, your grateful. that is what i wanted, but sadly far from what i got. so all i can do is give that to my children.
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