Don't listen to the doctors. They start talking time limits then tell them to shut up. They like to play God and are often very bad at it. My grandpa was supposed to die as this 7 or 8 times in 20 years. my other grandfather (lukemia) was supposed to die several times too and he lived 13 years with it. They don't know everything and they are just making predictions. Nothing more. So keep your chin up and put on the best face you can for her. It's hard I know. 2 grandmothers of cirosis of the liver and two grandfathers on lukemia and the other bone marrow cancer.
With the boyfriend, if he isn't worthy, dump him. Don't stay in a stressful relationship when you have bigger and better things to deal with. A smothering man is a man who is a bit to emotional in my taste. That could lead to rage, jealousy and more. Good luck and I Hope things get better.
I know she'll be fine most likely. It's just that I want to be able to have everything on good terms with her before it does look like her time. It unfortunately wasn't so with her husband and myself. He was my role model, but I kept a secret from him because I was afraid he would disown me. I was so ashamed to tell him that I'd dated a girl that I lied to him about my own life during those few months I was with her. Everything was fine on his end, but it was just me hiding things from him that makes me feel absolutely terrible. I really wish I had let him know everything in the time he was still alive instead of hiding everything. He went so quick in front of my eyes and I still felt that he would be ashamed of me if I told him, even at the end. I was his baby girl and I wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that in the end.
She'll never know my secret either, but I'm less worried of her being ashamed of me. I'm just afraid that I won't have enough time with her.
As far as my boyfriend, he definitely has more emotional baggage than me, but I haven't seen any reasons for it. He's just constantly saying his messed up and hurt, but I haven't seen anything to validate that. I can say I'm hurt, and I will if I need to. I lost 5 people in the span of 11 months, the first being my role model as well as my first experience with death. I've watched as my family has fallen apart into fighting and solitude. The most he's done is ride along when his parents were medical examiners. Heck, I'm still just biding my time for my first dog to die, not to sound uncaring but I've just become so numb to the build up before death). He's constantly needy emotionally and physically and it's just been absolutely exhausting for me. He'll get upset for not spending 12 or more hours with him. I left after 5 hours with him and he got all dejected.
You poor thing! You've had such a rough time of it! :(
I second Shirley. It sounds like your boyfriend is asking you to give and give and give without doing so in return. With all that you've been going through, I don't think you need that as well. I can tell you from my own experience that a relationship like that will drag you down and suck out all your energy - I can only suggest that you tell him how you feel and ask him to either change his attitude or leave. At the very least, it might cause him to think about his priorities.
I truly hope everything gets better for you soon, and that you have many more beautiful months or years left with your grandma and your dog!
*Pataflafla* Sounds like he is thinking more about his self.
On the death thing. i have to say that everyone feels sorry for something they did when a loved one passes. I have my own issues with regrets with my father in laws passing. I wish I was nicer to him and more understanding of his quirks. You have to know that feeling sorry is natural and what you hid wasn't that bad. If it was going to upset a loved one if you tell them it's probably should be left unspoken. What you did didn't affect him directly, it wasn't necessary to say. Don't worry about it so much and try to focus on having some good times with your grandma. When I knew my grandfather didn't have much time we did things like go to his house and target practice with guns. He got to shoot some of my hubby's guns and he was so proud to see his grandaughter shoot a gun and hit the center. I'm good at listening if you ever want to have someone neutral to get things out to. I have experienced so much in my short life that I can flow right along with you.
Thanks for the offer. I just might take you up on it some day. It really does mean a lot when someone is willing to listen, and when they know what's to be expected. It's always a little daunting for me to try and talk to someone about these things when they haven't experienced something similar.
I work at Walmart. Walmart's quote: "respect for the individual."
rumors in my area:
1. we are lazy. (someone singling another out, or a group out)
2. we make up deaths for attention (my friend's best friend, and another friend died; my sister in law died)
3. someone's boyfriend is an alcoholic and beats her
4. we don't know our jobs
5. we always leave messes, and a full rack of clothes
6. the younger ones start the rumors
7. takes our entire shift to do an "easy" job (me folding and fixing all the jeans... btw over hundreds and hundreds not in the right spots!)
8. someone hates another person
9. we stand around for hours and hours talking to friends and family
10. if our friend(s) are near us they aren't shopping - they're talking.
There were 2 more..... that is what I have to deal with, with OLDER people. So today I am writing a lovely note, (and making copies), and giving it to each person in my area AND THE MANAGER(s). I'll make it nice, no singling out, no offending, but basically saying "you're grown up - THIS has to STOP". because I AM TRANSFERING and another person is quiting especially because of the "we make up deaths of our friends and family" part, and especially about accusations of our loved ones. people we know are ALLOWED to shop. so what if they are in the clothing area? should we tell them "sorry I work here - get out!"??? THAT is called rude. When someone we know dies from numerous problems or in a car accident, or gets MURDERED, are we supposed to just say "meh everyone dies" and do a FANTASTIC job at work like nothing happened? I couldn't work for a week, when my sister-in-law, basically my BEST FRIEND, died. my coworker couldn't focus because her friend died - and then later another friend died, and she was in the manager's office, letting it out.
Just because we're young, doesn't mean we're made of stone. we have blood, we have emotions, and we sure as heck don't need to be pushed around by some old coot who needs to grow up!
Last time I went to Walmart there was an employee on the floor in his late twenties I guess...very loudly talking to another guy and every other word out of his mouth was the F word. I told him "do you realize there are children here?" and he just walked away.
I didn't bother telling the manager because I've dealt with her before and she's mean, lol. All the cashiers are very sweet and seem to stay there for years.
I was told, I was "not allowed doing the counts that is not your job!" and then "you'll f__k up the counts! Just do strictly zoning!" THAT'S right! the F bomb near customers. and she got in trouble for it! now she ignores me.... looks right through me! -sigh- all well.
I talk to customers, some even tell me their problems, about their kids, etc, I fold all the tables like an OCD person that I am, ALL the jeans are ever done by me and one other person (out of....6?) and I do them RIGHT. I don't get mad at customers, either althougb I wish I could hehe.... sometimes the tables look like someone had a seizure on each one as they walked by :/ I dunno how they do it!
I like my job. Or, I would, without all the stupid rumors and hurtful comments. The "making up deatsh for attention" one really hhurts! and it wasnt directed at me. It's just....rude! >:( I am making 3 or 4 copies, and I noted I do not care if it is given to a manager, because it should. The managers should know what is going on, to end this stupid junk. I'm transfering, so is someone else, and others want to quit. BECAUSE OF THE FASHIONS AREA D: how bad is that??