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Old 08-31-2012, 10:43 AM   #14401 
SnowySurface
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Again, I don't if I'm late to the party XD

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UH oh, what did I do?!?! The other day I happend to pick up a menu from a pizzaria we go to and noticed a small jesus fish on the back bottom of it. Well I brought this up with my parents and said "I never noticed that", my parents hadn't noticed either.

Now I made the mistake of mentioning that I heard chick-fil-a does too. My dad then said that he agrees with what they said and that he doesn't think gays should be able to marry either. Then me and my big mouth said "well I think they're just hate-mongering".

Now what happened was scary, they went silent, I mean silent silent. You could almost hear them doing math putting two and two together so fast. And what's worse is now they're treating me different, you know like when someone is walking on eggshells around you.

I think I may have given away too much with that remark, and now they have the full puzzle!
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It's not hate I'm thinking of because they are my parents. They still love my brother after all the things he's done, which are by far worse. It's just my family has a bad habit of ridiculing things that aren't normal.

They will probably confront me with it after it's done sinking in, so the countdown to that awkward moment has started. Now I'm too stubborn to cave to pressure so I'm not worried I'll hold my ground, plus I do a lot around here and know they need me as much as I need them.

So in the end I will win out and that weight I've been dragging around will be finally loosed. :)
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Um this is a little awkward now as I'm 29. Hardly a young adult.

I'm working on my certs to get into the tech industry and even then I'll live at home as times are hard and I'm sure they'd appritiate the help and then the rent I'd force on them, even though they wouldn't want me to pay them rent.

Honostly I'd just like it to be out and done with.
I didn't realize how old you are. My advice maybe relevent since we are so close in age. I never really went through the self denial stage, but coming out did not go well to say the least. I am also a private person who keeps her sexual identity out of platonic zones. This does not mean I'm closeted. It simply means I don't see a reason to correct people's assumptions. Since you are already deprogrammed and you have come to terms with your sexual orientation you are not living a lie. Whether you tell your parents or not does not effect how truthful you are as a person. So in a sense, your burden is self impossed. You know your parents have all the pieces of the puzzle, so it'sno secret. But you have no idea if they want to solve it themselves, have you solve it for them, or if they want to throw it away and act as if the puzzle never exsisted.

Since I've never met your parents I don't know if they are slow learners, waiting for you to just come out and say it, or in denial. I can only assume your father is like my mother because I see so many similarities. She asked me if I was a lesbian when I was in high school. I was still trying to figure out my orientation so I said no. I wasn't lying per say, but I was mulling over the proper answer at the time. When I did figure out I was bisexual during college, I told my mom. 9 years later she still thinks I'm going through a phase. I don't think she loves me less, but she has treated me differently ever since.

I did not tell my mom I was Bi because I caved into pressure. I told my mom because I wanted her to stop assuming I was a lesbian and know I was a bisexual. Your relationship with your parents has already changed and will continue to change. That doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means they don't know how to deal with you and there is a difference. Based on your posts, since I've never met anyone involved, you may benifit from just telling them. Not to cave. Not to insure love. Only because you want to get it over with.

It doesn't matter if they want to hear it.

It matters that you want to tell them.
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Old 08-31-2012, 11:27 AM   #14402 
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Well my brother is the best of them, you see only my niece is his the other two aren't. He has settled down somewhat but still is not acting like he should. His wife however, she's had two kids before and is still acting stupid.

It's why when my niece or nephews are around I give them lots of attention.
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:10 PM   #14403 
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I hope it makes her grow up but the problem for me is the financials. She is one of those people that is going to rely on her family and welfare to take care of her and I can't stand that. There are mothers who really need welfare who struggle to get it and people like my sis in law will get it no problem. She has a husband and a certificate in Phlebotomy but I have a feeling she is going to do the bare minimum to earn welfare. I hope it makes her grow up some. She is already scared to death now that the baby is in her. LOL. She was all for having a child naturally because using drugs is harmful for the baby. She now wants a scheduled C-Section. Hahah. Reality is sinking in I think. I am hopeful though. I don't see how she is going to get her degree she wants now. She hasn't even started it yet and with her lazy hubby she won't have the time even if she did it at home. Their house is disgusting and dirty all the time. I went there once and helped her clean because he wouldn't do a thing. I found cigarette butts on the floor under pills of dirty clothes. I even found a black widow nest in a shirt. That's how long the laundry had been sitting their. I can't help her since I plan on getting my Master's and a career. my husband won't cater to her because he knows she will take advantage of him. She's an if you give her an inch she will take a mile kind of person. Their step dad won't help her since he works and has a five year old his self and thier mom is disabled so that house isn't going to get fixed. Gauranteed. They can't afford to move either.
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Old 08-31-2012, 02:56 PM   #14404 
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They need to take responsibility for their own actions and not rely on family members to keep bailing them out.
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:02 PM   #14405 
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Stupid relatives. My great uncle argued with my mom about politics and tells my mom she doesn't understand the military. Uh, my dad was in the Marine corps for 22 years nd did two tours in Vietnam and she doesn't understand the military? Baloney!! Then a cousin pretty much implies the same thing and says the same thing.
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Old 09-01-2012, 03:56 AM   #14406 
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They need to take responsibility for their own actions and not rely on family members to keep bailing them out.
Today she told me I was babysitting. I told her I don't babysit and she says. Well my brother will and he told her "uh no" Her husband had the nerve to say to my husband that he works and he should babysit. My husband works too the jerk. Way harder than his lazy butt does. He doesn't take care of his house. Just expects his pregnant wife to do it. He is mad at her right now because she wants to rehome their young pit. I would rehome her too. She is nutts and there is no way I would want her around me while I was pregnant. He didn't teach this dog any manners. I had to make her lay on the ground because she jumped on me and scratched me. I still have the 6 inch long scar on my forearm.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:48 AM   #14407 
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I can't stand someone trying to force me into doing something I don't want to do. That girl is going to be in for a rude awakening.
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Old 09-01-2012, 06:39 AM   #14408 
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Shirleythebetta-

Wow. I don't even know what to say. Ridiculous that someone would think that someone else should be responsible for THEIR child.

As for their dog, ugh. This is one of the reasons people hate the breed. Because of owners like this! I hope that they come to their senses before something bar happens.
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Old 09-01-2012, 10:58 AM   #14409 
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I just wish all pets were in responsible homes, but that won't happen. I have a wonderful Pit Bull named Copper. He wouldn't hurt anyone including our cats. You need to teach the dog, not the breed.
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Old 09-01-2012, 11:05 AM   #14410 
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More pets would be in responsible homes if it weren't for overpopulation.
Back yard breeders are popping out puppies and handing them over to anybody handing over $.

I volunteered at a no kill shelter, adoption fee including spay/neuter, microchip, heartworm, UTD on shots. They would call the person's vet as a reference and if their previous animals weren't properly vetted they were denied the animal. Also there is a return policy, if for any reason you couldn't keep the animal you HAD to return it to us because you signed a contract saying so.
If every animal had that opportunity it'd be nice.
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