Ugh, I can't stand the pressure to have children. I haven't even got my career started, I haven't paid off my mortgage yet, and I'm about to start study to hopefully get into the body modification industry. Why on earth would I be thinking about the commitment to have children NOW?!
I'm still sitting on the fence on the issue, and am fairly sure I won't know whether I want one or not until my life is more established and I have things in proper order. I don't want to make that decision or commit to anything until that point, and for now find the concept of putting my body, my life and my assets at risk utterly terrifying, and any pressure from family, friends and partners sends me into a bit of a rage due to the gravity of what they're asking of me.
Also, aside from employment woes gained from having kids (a bit counterproductive considering a lot of money is needed for them...) the biggest thing for me is the many things that can go wrong during pregnancy. I do not want my body mutilated for the sake of spawn, and I certainly don't want to die, having only recently completely pulled myself out of those pesky suicidal tendencies and developing a genuine want to live. I know that there's only a chance of things going wrong, but it's enough to put me off for the foreseeable future.
I don't want kids either. And people act like I'm a freak for not being maternal or wanting kids. As if that is all life is about and good for or something.
And then there is the "Oh, when you have one of your own, you'll know", "one day you will want kids" or "oh, when you find the one, you'll want to have kids" uhhhh... I don't want kids so I won't have one of my own, and I did find my person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life and I sure as heck definitely do not want kids still. Thankfully BF doesn't either.
People don't seem to realize that you don't need to have kids to have a good life..
I was told that I'm a natural with babies the other day. It was slightly scary. I don't want a kid yet. Please. No.
Have a nervous break down tonight. I'm always bothered that the only people who seem to understand depression and/or anxiety are the people who have dealt with it, or are professionals. Somehow others can't seem to wrap their brains around it. It doesn't make sense.
Have a nervous break down tonight. I'm always bothered that the only people who seem to understand depression and/or anxiety are the people who have dealt with it, or are professionals. Somehow others can't seem to wrap their brains around it. It doesn't make sense.
I'm sorry :( I am having a TON of anxiety lately and it is just getting worse..
I hate that other people don't understand as well.. >:(
I don't have any desire to have kids either. People told me I do not understand because I'm still young now but I have many years yet and eventually will want children, but I know I won't. I'm much to selfish to be a parent. I don't think I could put a child's needs before my own. Plus, I am an extremely impatient person. My personality would really just make me horrible with kids. Which sucks because I have been raised in a traditional household where people genuinely believe that nothing matters more to a girl than to find a good husband to take care of her and have a whole mess of kids.
I'm sorry, HK, I understand. May I ask what triggered it?
Honestly, it has been everything lately. School, work, family, health, and a ton of other things that just won't get shared over the internet (more than people I've become comfortable with can read these threads). Also, Dovahkiin has a bit of fin rot, so I'm feeling really down about that. :(
My depression has a really easy trigger, to be honest. I have severe, clinical depression so it's not really something that comes and goes. It's always there. Just lighter on some days than others. Today's just been one of those, I just didn't want to get out of bed for anything. Nothing feels important, type of days.
I do admit that my fish have been a saving grace for me. It may seem silly. I was extremely saddened when I woke up this morning and looked over at his QT tank and saw his dorsal was clamped, but when he saw that I was away he started swimming and then it was open again. Suddenly I felt a little better.
I love kids. I work with them and people love me working with them. I just don't want any...at least not right now. I have no want what so ever. I held my friend's baby for forty minutes straight. She's so cute! I still don't want one though.
I'm exactly like you Kitty. My dog however is like MY therapy (I call her my therapy dog sometimes, when I cry she cries with me and gives me her paw and washes my tears away).
If I wasn't forced to get up from the couch by school or soemthing else, I'd be on it 24/7..
One of my landlords made a surprise visit on Saturday. She was very aggressive with both my sister and I and practically pushed her way into the apartment. She looked at the mold, blamed the smell of the rotting walls where the mold is on our pets peeing on it, blamed the ripped up carpet under my door as our fault too, said she was just going to evict us, went back on that and made us write up a paper stating we would be out March 1st under duress. She also grabbed my arm and raised her voice while threatening me that if I was telling her lies that she would "Lose it."
So literally, she just showed up with no warning, came into our apartment, started blaming us for existing damage, refused to see the pictures of the apartment before we moved in, threatened us with eviction and other unknown actions, and then went and lied to our other landlord, which I found out today when we turned in an official written notice to vacate.
She told her husband, who is the other landlord, that the carpet was tore up all over by our pets. There's one spot that is ripped up from wear and tear since it is old as dirt carpet and was bubbled up under the door as it is with all of the doors.
She also acted like our dogs were vicious. we initially put them in my room because they were excited that someone was over and my puppy is still learning not to jump up. he peaked in my room to look for damage too and gasped and flinched away from a 5 month old, wiggly puppy and our 5 year old border collie mix who was in the middle of the room.
After she grabbed me, I brought them out and stood behind the couch with them so they would calm down. When she left, she hugged the wall because two wiggly, friendly dogs are obviously going to attack her.
I am so ready to be out of this health hazard of an apartment. technically, if we find another place we can leave earlier since rent is already paid for this month. we'd just shut off the electricity and have everything out for them and hand in the keys after an inspection.
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I don't want "everything", I was specifics.
