Originally Posted by Freyja
Put your foot down about the babysitting like yesterday. It is not your baby so you are under no obligation to watch it/babysit. Don't let your hubs cave either or get pulled into the drama. What the hell is it with people having babies and then expecting everyone else to watch them? Its your baby, you watch it! You take care of it! If you want to go to dinner or the club or whatever pay for a babysitter. SMDH
Responses rarely hit a nerve with me in this thread because I keep in mind that people are just venting. So this isn't directed at the mindset more so than it's directed at Freyja. I'm also not mad, just...confused. Like there's something I'm missing that prevents the underlined part from making sense.
The reason I expect other people to watch any kid(s) I theoretically have in the future is because it's 2013 and I don't plan on being a stay-at-home mom. I would expect the workers at a day care center to watch my kid(s) while I'm at work. I would expect the schools to watch my kid(s) when they are the old enough for pre-K until they graduate from high school. I would expect someone to watch the kid(s) while I have a date night/club night/ect. I expect these things because becoming a mom wouldn't nullify every other role I fullfil. I would still be a chemist who goes to work Monday-Friday to earn money. I would still be a wife with a husband I would like to spend time with each other as adults at least a few times a month.
There comes a time when the parents have to be separate from the kids for the sake of work, social, and marital relationships. I don't see how it's possible to have children without expecting at least one other person on the planet to help you watch him/her/them. I just don't believe that parenthood means never expecting a single day of help for 6570days.
It is true that none of my relatives would be obligated to watch any child(ren) I theoretically have in the future. But it would give me peace of mind to leave the baby, toddler, child, ect. with a trusted relative instead of a stranger who is working for hourly pay. If a relative said no, then the answer is no and I would start researching sitters. But I would go to family I know before I play russian roulette with babysitters.
Maybe it's one of those things I'll understand if/when I have kids of my own. But as an outsider looking in, I don't see why a parent shouldn't expect others to help with raising a child. Don't older generations pine for the days when the village raised a kid?