Shirley, I'd honestly not even keep the job. But I would 1st recommend talking to the person who is high of everyone bothering you. You have school to worry about, you don't need someone at work making matters worse while you need a level head.
I would also do some Yoga. I have weekly sessions with an instructor. It and my aquarium keeping helps keep a stress at a minimum.
First, you are not pathetic. A lot of us are introverts, and that's why we're able to be here for each other through this site (among getting knowledge of the wonderful world of betta keeping). Your husband yelling at you when you try to talk to him is extremely detrimental to the whole situation. Though I know how you feel, seeing as talking to anyone in my immediate family typically ends with the same response. You're right. Your sister in law is being ridiculous. It's understandable for her to be upset with HER husband, but to be upset at you guys is just ludicrous. The whole manager thing...well...she's just blowing smoke. Someone, ANYONE, who treats another person like that is surely lacking something in their life. Typically people will bash on others, because they're truly insecure themselves. By bashing on you, she is attempting to fill a gap in her life. She'll learn that this won't help eventually (hopefully), but until then she'll probably continue. I'm sure you can get a job. Just try finding a job somewhere else; anywhere else. Don't worry about the stutter. Just laugh it off and say you just can't talk today. I stutter when I'm feeling insecure as well.
If you're feeling especially depressed, psychology has shown that people who are in a depressed state typically cannot function normally. To the extent that their brain neurons literally do not fire at the rate of a "happy" person's. This would explain the stuttering. Nothing feels worse than having a thought and not being able to put it into words.
I really hope that things get better for you. Even more so, I hope that your husband can/will start listening more than talking/yelling. Maybe next time you can tell him that you just want someone to listen to, and not someone to give advice (BEFORE you start talking about what's getting you down).
Rant: When someone is complaining about you not doing something, but does it before you can and then continues to complain while they're doing it, and then complains more.
Thank you. My main issue with this old manager is I have this irrational nightmare she will come back and work for this store. She hasn't been here in two years though. I hope she quite but this store rotates managers like a carnival ride. I don't even know if she works for the company or not. It threw me off though when I see her laughing out of the corner of my eye with my other manager while pointing at me. Then this woman comes through my line like nothing happened. I don't gossip. I hate it with a passion. I also hate when forty year old women laugh and point at people. Maybe that's why I get along better with men. When a man doesn't like you he says so. Women are just sneaky and evil. I just don't know what I am going to do if she comes back to this store. I will have to quite and then catch a tonage of garbage from my family about how I am a poor worker because I can't just tolerate people treating me like trash. I am not niave and I know that things happen where people don't treat you well but you should feel safe in the workplace.
I have applications at other places so hopefully one will call and I can get out of this estrogen baked hell I am in. I like the job but I don't know how many times I can handle getting laughed at pointed at.
I need some friendly encouragement. I am having some issues with low confidence and anxiety about having a job again. I don't know what to do. First off. my husband is no help because when I talk to him about having no confidence all he does is yells at me. He doesn't understand how I feel. I have so many thoughts running through my head it's breaking my heart.
1. What if going back to work causes me to get bad grades, I only have four weeks left to school.
2. I saw my old manager today which is the reason I quit this place to begin with. She laughed at me because I was not hired in as a manager like I was the first time. I chose not to be in management. But she made me feel an inch big and I had to smile at the woman and that about killed me.
3. I found out the new manager I have now is trying to transfer to another store already and I am upset. I am almost afraid that my bad luck will run out and my old manager that tortured me will come back.
4. I don't feel like I am doing anything right. I feel like I am a screw up and worth nothing.
5. My sister in law's baby is coming on the fifth and she is mad that Her husband isn't taking the day off and that my husband isn't taking the day off and I am not taking the day off. She doesn't seem to get that me and my husband can't because it isn't an emergency. She isn't being reasonable.
I don't know what to do to calm these fears and thoughts. It is killing me. I just wish I felt good about myself again because my confidence is so low my stuttering is coming back. It's making me look like an idiot at work with the customers. I don't know what to do. I can't talk to my husband about it because he doesn't get it. I can't talk to my mother about it because she will just tell me to quit and play the poor baby game with me. I have no friends, you guys are it. I am pathetic.
I am having a lot of similar thoughts right now, minus the mean manager and sister part.
I have very low self confidence and anxiety and anytime I try to talk about it with my BF he just doesn't get it and gets mad at me too. Problem is, he is PART of why my self-image is kinda sucky right now :( I wish someone could mediate between us sometimes cus I just have no clue when I am doing something wrong or I dunno how to explain things to him :(. Maybe it IS all my fault, the majority of miscommunications between us. I don't know!
(well, you know how how it is, we are the same in many ways)
I am feeling so Apathetic lately, I don't know if it is a defense mechanism or my views on everything are actually changing? I feel like a completely different person lately.
I too need to get a job soon, and the calculus coming up that I have to take is freaking me out cus that is my anxiety provoking class and to get a job along with that? I dunno.. I can't fail. I have to be the perfect person. I cannot AFFORD to be anything less right now.. >.>
Oh, and don't forget that I can't seem to do anything right either.. I wish I could go baack and redo so many things over the last 4 yrs...
If it was my relative, I'd prolly try to be there for them if they are having a child, but I understand circumstances cannot always work as planned, and sometimes we just have to make the best of the situation. I am sure your sister is scared so she is taking it out on you. Not the best thing for you to deal with, but it's human to be mean to the ones closest to us............
I have no friends too.. I feel like the most pathetic person on earth..
If you have FB, we should become FB friends Shirley.. >.> We could vent all the time and cry together..
Last edited by ThePearlFish; 02-17-2013 at 04:43 PM.
Pearl-I don't have a facebook but you can have my email. I will PM it. I don't know what to do with my man. I am starting to feel like it's my fault too. I don't understand why I can't just tell him how I feel and him get it. At least once. Thoughts are confusing to people like us. For people that can't multi task thoughts are a nightmare.
I'm sorry for changing the subject guys, but I have to show this to you.
This is AFTER i disturbed his bubble nest. I had to change the temp. The bubbles went all the way over the nob before, though! It's times like this that make me furious that I can't breed this fish (stupid rosetailing)
Shirley and Pearl, and others too, if we had a ton of friends we wouldn't be here. There have been many times in my life where I could say I had no friends, and the friends I have now I often don't see for a long long time, and hardly talk to. As far as I'm concerned, your friends here are your friends...we help each other, talk to each other, all that. So truthfully none of us is friendless...it's just that the definition of what friendship consistutes changes all the time.
Also, Shirley, your sister having a baby is NOT an emergency at all, so none of you should take days off. I mean, what are you gonna do? Stare at her and her newborn? Her husband should be there, yes (and he's a total craphead if he won't be there), but nobody else is obligated. Sounds like somebody has a bit of a crazy expectation about her birthing-day...ugh. Mom-zilla!
My Rant: I don't like maintaining four tanks, three for bettas and one for my other fish. It is so much darn water changing. All of them are completely planted, and I just have to do twice a week huge water changes on all of them - the 55g is just a pain to do, and the 20 is next in line, the 10s aren't so bad. It's so frustrating...I'm always wet and the tanks are just never perfect in terms of scaping...apparently it's not good to have this type of hobby when you are a perfectionist. IDK why, but good enough is just not good enough for me, I see all those perfect ADA tanks and just fume. Stupid, I know.
Bethy-total Momzilla. She is having the first of husbands side. She even bought us shirts to wear at the frigging hospital. Her mans going to be there at the birth. She is mad because he is going to work later that night.
Totally off Topic, but my mom gave birth to me and my brother at the hospital where my parents worked and my dad would go to work in the lab and and check up on my mom in her room every once in a while till she was released from the hospital. :P This was before, when women were like discharged only after several days.
The only friends I have are here and on facebook. This will be a stressful week because my brother is here and he yells a lot. I cannot STAND to be yelled at like I'm an idiot. Also, my dinner theater is next weekend and it's my last one and that makes me sad.
I'd say kick that momzilla in the baby maker, but be glad you're not the daddy. His life is over now that he made the mistake of making one with her.
@Dramaqueen yeah same with me, my life exists soully on facebook. Thankfully my brother doesn't remember he has a younger sisiter.
My Rant: Curses, something at work for the last few days has been making me sick. Yesturday I had a slight headache coming on, then I become over whelmingly tired as the headache grew. Then my stomach began to turn. I went home put a warm rag on my eyes (which end up swelling up) and was started feeling better. Thinking nothing of it I left for work. Same things happening today-agian. It's only 3:44am and I got to make it till 7 am, then the bus will be on major detour. Shoot me please.