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Old 02-27-2013, 06:23 PM   #16741 
ThePearlFish
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I too agree that when it comes to well-being vs work hours, I'd choose well being.

In my first job the stress eventually got to a point where I lost a ton of weight, I was having anxiety attacks and heart palpitations and I started getting sour to working in general. I still think that experience kinda soured me after a while in my second job.

I now feel like I really need to find a job I absolutely love, or else I might get the burnt out feeling again.
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:29 PM   #16742 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiara1125 View Post
My rant:

My parents are upsetting me BEYOND belief. First off, they're divorced, so I'll go on sides. My father ignores me completely and puts me down due to my fish hobby. He says I'm antisocial, yet he won't let me hang out with my friends. My step mother glares at me and acts like a sarcastic brat. I can't say anything around her or else she'll twist my words and tell people. She's mad at me because her dog became mine after she beat him (he's 15lbs) and he came running to me. He was 3 months old. Now he's 4 years old and my main comfort. As for my mother ... Ugh! She yells at me on a daily basis over nothing. She's bipolar and "depressed". I'm more depressed then her. She beats me and not in the "disciplinary" way. She leaves bruises and I have to cover my arms and put bandages on in order to go to school. Honestly, I've tried committing suicide. Out of an act of desperation, I screamed and yelled at them and let everything out. I calmed down to explain how I felt, why I felt that way, how long I felt that way, and how done I was. Their response? "Oh, our problems are worse then yours." They obviously don't care if anything happens to me. I've almost been raped by a relative, I've attempted suicide, and I'm basically estranged from my family. They obviously don't care and there are only a few threads that are tying me to this world. It's sad when you're friends love you more then your parents do. I mean ... the people who are BIOLOGICALLY programmed to love you can't even stand you. It's wrong ... so wrong. Also, they seem to despise me because I have Tourette's syndrome. It's not major, I just cough every now and again, not even badly. It happened when I was 8 and my parents got divorced. I've been able to control it now (I'm 17). Due to my Tourette's, I also have ADHD, OCD, and dislexia. God, I can't wait. I've debates on running away, but I have my priorities straight now. In 7 months, I'm going to graduate high school and I'm going to move to FL with my boyfriend. He's the main reason I'm still around. Cheesy side story, I met him in a fish forum. I started talking to him, because we were joking about him giving me his duckweed because I would find a way to kill it (I DID!! xD). He ended up sending me his purple/yellow marble veiltail, RCS, and some plants. I started to get to know him and I fell in love. He's the man of my dreams and the only thing that's keeping me going right now. I'm actually HAPPY for the first time in 5 years because of him. <3

Ugh, sorry for the long, confusing, and strange rant. lol I just HAD to let it out.
I have TS, OCD, depression, anxiety and some ADD-like symptoms too.

If you need someone to talk to I am always a click away in PM.

If you are being abused, even if your parent (or both) are mentally unstable and do not understand what they are doing, you might want to talk to a trusted person about it. You don't deserve to be mistreated and faulted for something you cannot help and is actually due to the genetics that were passed onto you..
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:33 PM   #16743 
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Thanks. :) it's nice to "meet" someone that can understand with the TS. But ... It says that you can't/aren't receiving PMs ...

I find it ironic that my mother despises me for my TS, even though it's the woman who passes on the gene for TS.

Last edited by Kiara1125; 02-27-2013 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:55 PM   #16744 
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I have to put my foot down. I told this new manager this week that thirty hours was too much because I have school to worry about. I understand they are understaffed but I am going to be very disappointed if I don't finish with the grades I have had for my entire degree. All A's and B's. If I have to many hours this week I may have to sit down with this manager.
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:59 PM   #16745 
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why must women be made to feel they have to be superheros? Why must people be made to feel they have run run run run run run, .. all their lives just to show others they are worthy? Why cant people just realize in the end all the running has caused them to miss the beautiful life that has been granted to them? ...... my mother always implies that I have to be better then my cousins, I have to be better then others in general, I have to have a vehicle, i have to have a large house, I have to have all the nicest things be it a couch, clothing, dishes, etc... that if i dont have any of these or other things that I am worthless as a daughter, as a mother, as a person. ...... sorry for not wanting to drive myself nuts over getting "degree/high paying job, sorry for not wanting to have a vehicle because I like to walk, carrying my groceries home, sorry for wanting to be around for my children instead of being a money greedy lifeless zombie with certificates, diplomas, degrees. sorry for loving the fact I like to learn new languages, listen to music of different cultures, cook all sorts of dishes so my children can see there is a Huge world for them to explore. sorry for not falling in line, stampeding with the herd, clucking with the flock.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:06 PM   #16746 
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I totally feel the same BettaHeart :(. It is exhausting trying to be perfect for others all the time. :/
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:13 PM   #16747 
Shirleythebetta
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bettaheart-it sucks trying to please people who just don't care. Take it from the many people on here who are trying to get a degree. You have to do what YOU want in life and if what you are doing makes you happy then don't apologize. I just learned that lesson myself in typing this...
I chose a degree because I want something different. I don't want to give up my life for a child but see... someones dream may be to be a mother and that is awesome. I get punished for that. I got looked at like I had three heads at my new work because I am the only one who works in the entire place that doesn't have kids. Apparently that is supposed to mean I am carefree but I say to them "walk a mile..."
It's a selfless action to raise another human being to be a productive member of society and I respect you for that. But I don't feel like wanting a degree makes you money hungry or a zombie. I enjoy working a lot and I just like to learn. It's my love in life to learn things about the things that interest me. But I understand.

No body likes pressure and I can see now that so many of us are being put through the ringer just for living a free life. I feel like I am being punished most days for chasing my dreams but then I think... It wouldn't be worth it without struggles I suppose.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:39 PM   #16748 
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Fish Keeping rant:

I have a Betta that is not doing well at the moment. I'm such a horrible owner stress him out moving him around trying to make him better. I got additional tank mates which I didn't want. Not at the time being when I have a ill fish. I was rather happy with my tree stoogies of Cories, my Betta, and a snail I picked up last weekend hoping he will cut back some of the algae on the walls. One of the small Tetra's went missing, and when I was doing a water change today due to an ammonia spike (thanks to an ammonia spike prb caused by him and all these fishes in the tank) I found his carcass when I was taking the mesh off the intake, and now ANOTHER went missing.

I just want a tank with 4 fish and a snail u-u
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:30 PM   #16749 
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definitely is exhausting pearl on top of a bossy 22month old i have a bossy 60yr old mother lol

Thank you shirley, i totally understand wanting to get a good education on subjects that are very interesting, i wanted that as i was growing up despite being ridiculed, criticized, and belittled as a young girl, i wanted to go to university and head out into the world with atleast some knowledge of it. Unfortunately those constant badgering, nagging, and put-downs had taken a toll and i seen my only way out was to i regret to say become common-law spouses with my first bf who i thought actually loved me. My grandmothers have always taught me that children are sacred and i believe honestly I am blessed to be granted the honour of taking care of these five precious gifts. I truly am happy to see you working for your degree, its just ...
I sometimes just want to fade away like fog when i keeping hearing statements like "Your grandmother's sister's niece has moved to calgary to go the S.A.I.T, or UofC for her diploma" or "Your uncle's son bought a brand new truck and has gotten a job in northern alberta" or "Your sister has a new job and getting a new house"
that cousin that has moved to the city is actually going because the drugs on the rez are **** as she told me herself, that cousin's parents bought him that truck and is working for one of his father's friends, and my sister who has five children too, gave her youngest away after he was born to a cousin to raise and the other four are living with their father while yes she does work but goes out drinking every weekend and doing drugs when shes not working while jumping between atleast 4 guys telling them all lies..
yes mom yes they are doing wonderful and in your words i am the pathetic one who gets up at 4:30am sometimes to the constant slobbery kisses of said bossy 22month old, to prepare snacks for the older kids, feed the fish, then the rest of the household chores the rest of the day unless i've actually done most yesterday and have time to wander to the lps with the boss tucked into the stroller. Yes I want to do what you are doing shirley, i want to get a better education but i know my limits and since i only have one year left to watch my last baby move through his milestones I am going to do what makes me happy just as you said.
I was a slave for nearly 9 yrs with almost loosing my life near the end, i have had almost 6 years to begin to live and learn who I really am and still learning as each day passes, and i know it sounds strange but I am grateful for what i have gone through otherwise I wouldnot have actually seen the world the life that was almost taken away from me.
Ok now i apologize for this novel and as for the zombie part lol it was just the fact i have seen some people go day to day work home work home... I would like to have more money too but all in good time. I learn as my children learn. hahaha....
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:37 PM   #16750 
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Ugh, to mention house work. It is hard to work and keep up with house work. Ugh. Double ugh.
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