Originally Posted by Freyja
That's why I never used the pills, too easy to forget. Better something like the nuvaring or the monthly shot. Put it in or get it and forget it for a month. For me one is more than enough. My kid is too much of a handful. Besides my hubby and I would prefer to give our all to that one than have to divide and give halfs to more than one.
If your husband is that ambivalent about another child and still resentful about what may or may not have happened around your first child conception, then the prudent thing would be to back off and seek professional help to sort out your need to have a second child and his ambivalence and resentment. Bringing another child into that would not be healthy for that one, the one you already have, or your marriage.
I don't think he's really resentful for it, he just seems to think I'm lying. I'm actually the one becoming resentful about the idea of never having a 2nd, because it's always something we were both very clear about. I also don't think it would effect my daughter negatively in anyway. On the contrary, she gets very lonely. We're not weatlhy people but I have a talent for getting things super cheap, and so she is so spoiled as a result, and the only time that it really will make us feel a financial sting will be college time. But yes, it would put a strain on our marriage. Though... honestly it is going to either way. It's kind of a catch 22 because I could not force someone to have a kid (and would not want to, he would never ever act anything but a great father to the child, but that couldn't be said for him to me, lol) but also one shouldn't go into a marriage promising 2 kids, talking about and promising it for 8 years... then change their mind.
I've had people suggest I "forget a pill" but I could never do that, and I've also had people said "if you want a 2nd, divorce him", but I don't think that's a good answer anyway (what good is a 2nd child if having a 2nd means making the 1st suffer in a divorce?)
I think time will play this one out. And here I was thinking how silly people were for not discussing these important issues before marriage... and how much better my husband and I got along because we talked endlessly about what we wanted with life's big decisions. Ha! A lot of good that did -.- It was my mistake not to think about him changing his mind. You know what he said? "honestly, I wish we had them back to back when I first said it right after our daughter was born" (do you know how hard it was for me not to storm out of the house crying, it was HIM who suggested it and then on a whim changed his mind... and now he wishes we did have a 2nd? but only if it was almost 3 years ago?!)
Anyway... today's rant... funny enough I've only posted here to reply before, but now 2 times in 2 days?
Why do mothers always feel the need to talk down to their children no matter HOW old they are? I don't get along well with my mother to begin with (none of you would if you had the past I had with her). She stopped by unexpectedly to bring us out. I thought that's great, mother daughter grandaughter time! We went to a craft store and I got a few things. One thing was 50% off but it rang up full price so I told her "oh, that one is suppose to be half off". She said "it is? I didn't think these went on sale" and I said "there is a sign right there"
so then my mother interupts "there is NO sign" very haughty like. And the woman starts looking it up in a book (I suppose guide for that weeks sales) and I just say "ok, well there's a sign there... maybe someone put it in the wrong stand, but it does say the brand. Don't worry about it, I'll just skip that one" and my mother interupts again "no, there's no sign, I did not see one" (my mother was NOT in that section. She walked over to the end of that isle but never walked into the isle and by that section, I don't know what her problem was!) so when we got out I said "mom, why did you do that? That was so embarassing to have you arguing with me, who does that?" and she says "well you came off VERY snippy, arguing with that girl" "oh... I'm supposed to just accept whatever price even if it's an error?" "no, but you just sound like a snot" "so now whoever points out that there is a sale sign is a bad person or something!?" "you're snippy and now you're treating me like crap." "oh, so if a random stranger in a store said that they thought an item was priced wrong, you would just butt in out of nowhere and involve yourself?" "yes" "..... wth mom!? you just don't do that. That's the cashiers job, and none of your business" "well YOU embarassed ME" ".... if I point out that an item is ringing up incorrectly, that embarasses you?" "yes" and then a few seconds of silence and she gets mad and yells "now you're going on and on so just DROP IT and let it go!" and she proceded to stop at another store (we were in the car when arguing) so she took my daughter and got out "are you coming?" "in a minute" (I was fuming, just wanted a minute to myself to just be calm is all) and then, as if to make fun of me in front of my toddler "oh, now you're throwing a tantrum?"
Now I remember why I never go out with her -.- I live in one of her rental houses, and my husband and I have seriously considered buying it from her because we have the best neighbors ever here and the backyard is a decent size and it's on a dead end street. But then I think if we bought it from her, she'd spent the REST of my life acting like she had a say in this house. She can not come over without giving me basically a list of chores. Now, we don't pay full rent so I try to tolerate it, but she REALLY over steps her boundries sometimes. We DO pay all the bills, just not the full rent another tenant would pay on this house, AND we have taken care of her dog and her cat for more than 2 years now, AND she has absolutely all of her stuff, furniture, clothing, collectibles, and everything in the house because her boyfriend won't let her bring it all over. On top of that the house needs a lot of work done, and I have been doing it myself for her, obviously for free and without her needing to lift a finger. So even though we don't pay full rent, if we moved out today she would be stuck and unable to rent the house for at least a year while she had to find the money to fix it up, sell off all of the stuff she doesn't want to part with, and give away the pets that she is so extremely stubborn about not wanting to give up (not like they are hers now anyway, she never even looks at them or pets them when she does stop by, even when they pout for it)
So I'm all self conflicted as I would sooo love to buy this house purely for it's location because of how child friendly this area is and how awesome all of my neighbors are.... but then that would mean a lifetime of putting up with my mom's nonsense. Even so, this house's value was estimated at maybe 90? and she told me she'd ask "110" from me because she'd "expect" 120 from a stranger, so she calls it doing me a favor, even though houses of the SAME size, style, structure, and property in the area are only going for 80.... yeah. It's looking less and less like I will settle down here.
What's with this week!?
Sorry about all the typing guys, I really suck at wording myself in fewer words