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Old 05-16-2013, 05:53 PM   #17271 
JadeAngel
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Originally Posted by LittleBettaFish View Post
What a horrible situation for you JadeAngel. Unfortunately, people change as they go through life and choices and decisions made years ago may no longer be what they want now. Perhaps you could go through a third party like a marriage/family counsellor and see if you can't talk more about it there, rather than just between the two of you.

Now here is my inconsequential rant. Why will my blog/site not look the way I want it to? I want to re-do the whole thing and it is just not working out. Ugh, I hate anything design/coding related. I can never get it to look how I want it to.
I had thought about that. But you know what's funny? Or rather... frustrating and stupid...

Every time a friend, coworker, or just someone he (or we) happen to talk to for whatever length of time makes comments like "if you're waiting for the right time, there never is one, if you want a 2nd you should have it now and not wait"

Every time someone says that (again... NOT me, and not anyone in my family) then he seriously starts to consider it again. I really feel like one of these days he'll come home and say "ok, let's have one" because enough people told him that. But at the same time that is so stupid... why does he listen to what other people have to say more than what I have to say? Why should I feel like a stranger can convince him to have a 2nd child, but his own wife can't?

Even so he told me this morning that he still can't forgive me about having missed some pills more than 4 years ago (why our daughter was conceived) when actually, 2 times he told me "eh, don't take one today... if god wants us to have one then i'll give him a chance" and then the next week I brought the pack to work because I worked early and kept forgetting pills at home... I figured I'd have a better time remembering them. But then I still forgot to take a few there. Mind you, at the time, he NEVER reminded me to take them either... I have memory problems because of a traumatic childhood, but he never felt he had any responsibility to remind me either knowing I had memory problems!? And a few times he's accused me of doing it intentionally! My memory has improved in the past years (until recently... long story short we lost 5 family members and friends in the last months. 2 to cancer, 1 just of old age, our newborn niece, and my 15 yr old neighbor fell off a bridge while I was trying to search for her and was taling to her on the phone) so my memory has been slipping again as a response, and I still have managed to not forget even 1 pill in more than 2 years. So why blame me? Why does there always have to be someone to blame? Why can't an accident or mistake ever be left at that?

Sry I'm typing a lot. I feel like I'm losing my mind with everything
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Old 05-16-2013, 08:17 PM   #17272 
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JadeAngel, that all royally sucks. :( You have the support of everyone here! Personally, I don't get the desire to have children (maybe I'm too young, not married etc), but based on my relationship with my beautiful sister, I think that two is always a good idea.

All the best, and I hope it works out.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:58 AM   #17273 
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That's why I never used the pills, too easy to forget. Better something like the nuvaring or the monthly shot. Put it in or get it and forget it for a month. For me one is more than enough. My kid is too much of a handful. Besides my hubby and I would prefer to give our all to that one than have to divide and give halfs to more than one.

If your husband is that ambivalent about another child and still resentful about what may or may not have happened around your first child conception, then the prudent thing would be to back off and seek professional help to sort out your need to have a second child and his ambivalence and resentment. Bringing another child into that would not be healthy for that one, the one you already have, or your marriage.
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Old 05-17-2013, 05:51 PM   #17274 
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On the plus side, my mystery illness has finally been identified as Ross River Virus (which means I got a call from the government health agency trying to track down where I got it and when). On the downside, there is no cure - you can only treat the symptoms and wait for it to go.
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:31 PM   #17275 
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That's why I never used the pills, too easy to forget. Better something like the nuvaring or the monthly shot. Put it in or get it and forget it for a month. For me one is more than enough. My kid is too much of a handful. Besides my hubby and I would prefer to give our all to that one than have to divide and give halfs to more than one.

If your husband is that ambivalent about another child and still resentful about what may or may not have happened around your first child conception, then the prudent thing would be to back off and seek professional help to sort out your need to have a second child and his ambivalence and resentment. Bringing another child into that would not be healthy for that one, the one you already have, or your marriage.
I don't think he's really resentful for it, he just seems to think I'm lying. I'm actually the one becoming resentful about the idea of never having a 2nd, because it's always something we were both very clear about. I also don't think it would effect my daughter negatively in anyway. On the contrary, she gets very lonely. We're not weatlhy people but I have a talent for getting things super cheap, and so she is so spoiled as a result, and the only time that it really will make us feel a financial sting will be college time. But yes, it would put a strain on our marriage. Though... honestly it is going to either way. It's kind of a catch 22 because I could not force someone to have a kid (and would not want to, he would never ever act anything but a great father to the child, but that couldn't be said for him to me, lol) but also one shouldn't go into a marriage promising 2 kids, talking about and promising it for 8 years... then change their mind.

I've had people suggest I "forget a pill" but I could never do that, and I've also had people said "if you want a 2nd, divorce him", but I don't think that's a good answer anyway (what good is a 2nd child if having a 2nd means making the 1st suffer in a divorce?)

I think time will play this one out. And here I was thinking how silly people were for not discussing these important issues before marriage... and how much better my husband and I got along because we talked endlessly about what we wanted with life's big decisions. Ha! A lot of good that did -.- It was my mistake not to think about him changing his mind. You know what he said? "honestly, I wish we had them back to back when I first said it right after our daughter was born" (do you know how hard it was for me not to storm out of the house crying, it was HIM who suggested it and then on a whim changed his mind... and now he wishes we did have a 2nd? but only if it was almost 3 years ago?!)

----------

Anyway... today's rant... funny enough I've only posted here to reply before, but now 2 times in 2 days?

Why do mothers always feel the need to talk down to their children no matter HOW old they are? I don't get along well with my mother to begin with (none of you would if you had the past I had with her). She stopped by unexpectedly to bring us out. I thought that's great, mother daughter grandaughter time! We went to a craft store and I got a few things. One thing was 50% off but it rang up full price so I told her "oh, that one is suppose to be half off". She said "it is? I didn't think these went on sale" and I said "there is a sign right there"
so then my mother interupts "there is NO sign" very haughty like. And the woman starts looking it up in a book (I suppose guide for that weeks sales) and I just say "ok, well there's a sign there... maybe someone put it in the wrong stand, but it does say the brand. Don't worry about it, I'll just skip that one" and my mother interupts again "no, there's no sign, I did not see one" (my mother was NOT in that section. She walked over to the end of that isle but never walked into the isle and by that section, I don't know what her problem was!) so when we got out I said "mom, why did you do that? That was so embarassing to have you arguing with me, who does that?" and she says "well you came off VERY snippy, arguing with that girl" "oh... I'm supposed to just accept whatever price even if it's an error?" "no, but you just sound like a snot" "so now whoever points out that there is a sale sign is a bad person or something!?" "you're snippy and now you're treating me like crap." "oh, so if a random stranger in a store said that they thought an item was priced wrong, you would just butt in out of nowhere and involve yourself?" "yes" "..... wth mom!? you just don't do that. That's the cashiers job, and none of your business" "well YOU embarassed ME" ".... if I point out that an item is ringing up incorrectly, that embarasses you?" "yes" and then a few seconds of silence and she gets mad and yells "now you're going on and on so just DROP IT and let it go!" and she proceded to stop at another store (we were in the car when arguing) so she took my daughter and got out "are you coming?" "in a minute" (I was fuming, just wanted a minute to myself to just be calm is all) and then, as if to make fun of me in front of my toddler "oh, now you're throwing a tantrum?"

Now I remember why I never go out with her -.- I live in one of her rental houses, and my husband and I have seriously considered buying it from her because we have the best neighbors ever here and the backyard is a decent size and it's on a dead end street. But then I think if we bought it from her, she'd spent the REST of my life acting like she had a say in this house. She can not come over without giving me basically a list of chores. Now, we don't pay full rent so I try to tolerate it, but she REALLY over steps her boundries sometimes. We DO pay all the bills, just not the full rent another tenant would pay on this house, AND we have taken care of her dog and her cat for more than 2 years now, AND she has absolutely all of her stuff, furniture, clothing, collectibles, and everything in the house because her boyfriend won't let her bring it all over. On top of that the house needs a lot of work done, and I have been doing it myself for her, obviously for free and without her needing to lift a finger. So even though we don't pay full rent, if we moved out today she would be stuck and unable to rent the house for at least a year while she had to find the money to fix it up, sell off all of the stuff she doesn't want to part with, and give away the pets that she is so extremely stubborn about not wanting to give up (not like they are hers now anyway, she never even looks at them or pets them when she does stop by, even when they pout for it)

So I'm all self conflicted as I would sooo love to buy this house purely for it's location because of how child friendly this area is and how awesome all of my neighbors are.... but then that would mean a lifetime of putting up with my mom's nonsense. Even so, this house's value was estimated at maybe 90? and she told me she'd ask "110" from me because she'd "expect" 120 from a stranger, so she calls it doing me a favor, even though houses of the SAME size, style, structure, and property in the area are only going for 80.... yeah. It's looking less and less like I will settle down here.

What's with this week!?

Sorry about all the typing guys, I really suck at wording myself in fewer words

Last edited by JadeAngel; 05-17-2013 at 09:38 PM.
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:32 PM   #17276 
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On the plus side, my mystery illness has finally been identified as Ross River Virus (which means I got a call from the government health agency trying to track down where I got it and when). On the downside, there is no cure - you can only treat the symptoms and wait for it to go.
But it will go away on it's own eventually? I hope that's sooner rather than later for your sake.
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Old 05-17-2013, 11:37 PM   #17277 
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Eventually it will, but it looks like I've got a pretty long-term strain, so it could be a good few months yet. :)
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Old 05-18-2013, 12:19 AM   #17278 
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Eventually it will, but it looks like I've got a pretty long-term strain, so it could be a good few months yet. :)
If you can have the symptoms treated I suppose caution is the only thing in order? I have had tietze syndrome since i was a kid, and there is no cure for it because it's not well understood. It might go away in a few years, or might not for life. Becaue attacks are very sudden, pain killers almost never do any good, but it is only a painful inconvenience and nothing more. It would be so much more frustrating if it presented an actual health risk. With the symptoms treated, will this just be more of a nuissance or could it still take your health for a bad turn? Take care of yourself until you're all better though. Your immune system is never quite as good when you're ill for long periods of time, so I suppose keeping up on your vitamin C would be a good idea as well.
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Old 05-18-2013, 12:24 AM   #17279 
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I hate QTing!!! I'm so freaking impatient!
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Old 05-18-2013, 09:11 AM   #17280 
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OMG you guys. This is insane. This is a rant but it's also cool. My school put me on television 0_0

I am in my University's TV commercial! I am thinking it's pretty cool but they could have told me!!!!!
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