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Old 05-18-2013, 11:52 PM   #17281 
Bombalurina
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There are two rats in a local petshop that were dumped there by their previous owner - big 16 month old males that people don't want to buy because they are really huge and not as "cute" as the other critters. Trouble is, due to their size, a man is trying to buy them to feed to his python - alive - which is risky for the snake and downright cruel to the rats. I want to buy them simply to prevent this, but my parents aren't keen for me to have more rats. It won't impact them, and I can't let these lovely boys be killed that way. :(
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Old 05-19-2013, 12:49 AM   #17282 
dramaqueen
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How do you even cope with this!?
I wanted 2 children my whole life, decided on 2 with my husband (he claimed he wanted 2) long before we got married. We've been married for 8 years, and we have a 3 year old girl. We'd talked about having 2 for the first few years, and then decided it was time to have our first just when we got a sudden surprise and got her a year early. Then he talked about having a 2nd right after she was born. You know, all at once, get the diaper stage over?

Then he said we better wait, and he kept doing this to me for years. Saying he thought maybe we'd have one and then saying better wait. His main excuse was our economical situation. Well, now he has a good job, but it's not good enough, now it's "what if I suddenly lose the job?" he's waiting for the "right moment" with every excuse in hand, and the right moment will never come because his excuses aren't things that will change. They're "what ifs" Then sometimes he says he's not sure if he wants a 2nd and he's happy with just 1. And then he tries to turn it on me and make me feel like I'm unappreciative of our daughter.

Yesterday we talked about it and I told him why I thought it would be a good time now, and we had a nice calm discussion. He said he'd need to think about it. I told him fine, take months if you want. No, he comes to me an hour or so ago to tell me I thought about it... and... no. I don't want one right now. How can you do that to someone!!!!!! How can you lead a woman on for years about another child? Then how can you make up your mind in only a few hours worse yet, he said he's still not sure. Then why tell me no!? Why bring up my hope and then crush it, again and again and again! I feel like he broke my heart. I told him I don't want to talk about it until he actually makes a decision because I'm tired of the up and down mind changing. It's not fair.

Yeah, and I walked off without talking more to him because I didn't want him to see me cry, as he'd say I'm trying to make him feel bad for me. So I got in the car and left and just pulled over and cried by myself on the side of a desolate road. So I don't say anything to him because its not worth fighting over, and fighting won't help it anyway. Then he gets annoyed at me for not talking.

It just hurts a lot. And it's really just not fair, because we had discussed this extensively for years.

Worse yet, I can't even talk to the one person I normally would, my best friend. She is married but doesn't have kids or want them. She'd just side with him "why have a 2nd kid? they just get in the way! I don't even want ANY" so I feel alone on top of it. I'm so angry, and so sad at the same time. I just can't stop crying and I don't even have someone to talk to it about
Aww, I'm sorry! *hugs*
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:43 AM   #17283 
pittipuppylove
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Originally Posted by Bombalurina View Post
There are two rats in a local petshop that were dumped there by their previous owner - big 16 month old males that people don't want to buy because they are really huge and not as "cute" as the other critters. Trouble is, due to their size, a man is trying to buy them to feed to his python - alive - which is risky for the snake and downright cruel to the rats. I want to buy them simply to prevent this, but my parents aren't keen for me to have more rats. It won't impact them, and I can't let these lovely boys be killed that way. :(
Good grief, that's all sorts of sad... I hate the idea of feeding captive snakes live food, especially if the rat, mouse, whatever animal was bred to be a pet. It makes people who want to keep snakes responsibly and humanely look bad. My boa constrictor actually has some nasty scars from her previous owners feeding live and the rat fighting back (she's since been switched to humanely pre-killed prey). And if the python is big enough to eat that big of a male, they should be looking into another type of food anyway - once the rats get to a certain size, their fat content begins to go up and makes the nutrition content go down.

Not to be an enabler or anything, but if you have the room and resources to take them, go for it! Heck, they'd be better off even if it's a temporary situation until someone else can take them in as pets.
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:41 PM   #17284 
Bombalurina
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I wish I could. I'm trying to convince my parents to let me do that, but they just aren't keen. I didn't really want to adopt any more, but this is a life or death scenario. :( For me, that's a powerful motivating factor, but it isn't swaying them.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:51 AM   #17285 
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So I'm all self conflicted as I would sooo love to buy this house purely for it's location because of how child friendly this area is and how awesome all of my neighbors are.... but then that would mean a lifetime of putting up with my mom's nonsense. Even so, this house's value was estimated at maybe 90? and she told me she'd ask "110" from me because she'd "expect" 120 from a stranger, so she calls it doing me a favor, even though houses of the SAME size, style, structure, and property in the area are only going for 80.... yeah. It's looking less and less like I will settle down here.

And if the value of the house is under asking price as are the comps, the lender will, more likely than not, only lend you the amount of the value. Anything over that will come out of your pocket in addition to closing costs. If you really want the house, I suggest you go through a realtor and not deal directly with your mother on any negotiations.

Lol this seems to be a trend in my advice to you. Seek professional help. An objective third-party should be involved. Good luck!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:55 AM   #17286 
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Oh yeah my rant...spot treated my plants with BBA with Flourish excel...results...BBA still on plants and 5 dead albino cories... Not a good way to start my morning *sighs* I will hold off on getting a new shoal until I finish treating my plants. Maybe then I can get my LFS to order some dwarf cories for me instead.
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:50 AM   #17287 
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Oh yeah my rant...spot treated my plants with BBA with Flourish excel...results...BBA still on plants and 5 dead albino cories... Not a good way to start my morning *sighs* I will hold off on getting a new shoal until I finish treating my plants. Maybe then I can get my LFS to order some dwarf cories for me instead.
Sorry to hear about your albino cories. I don't think I've heard of BBA, but it sounds bad.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:39 PM   #17288 
Bombalurina
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Last night, whilst I was out at the local aquarium society meeting, my precious Willoughby (rat) died. :(
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:51 PM   #17289 
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Oh that's really sad Bombalurina. Was he the one that used to sneeze up the blood? Sorry to hear that you lost him.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:08 PM   #17290 
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He was. We suspect he had a stroke about a week ago, which made him a little disorientated and frail, and he just slipped away peacefully next to the food bowl last night, possibly due to a second stroke. No pain, no extended suffering, which is great, but it was awfully sudden.
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