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Old 08-30-2010, 06:02 PM   #1 
naturegirl243
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Question I am starting a story..would anyone read it?

Hello all! I am starting to right a story about my CT Pirate who passed away it is basically his life from the day I got/rescued him to the day he died from his point of view.the begining before I get him I made up.It is going to be pretty long though.Would anyone have the patience to read it Or I could post it in three different parts(beggining part one, middle part two, end part three)and do it slowly.Just wondering if anyone would read below is the very very beggining of it.

My days were limited, I sat at the bottom of my hexigon cup watching people go by. No one seemed interested in the four of us on the top of the betta shelves. All the others are in clean cups, why are we in these dirty hexigons? I wish they would give me clean waterthis stuff is burning. Why do I live in water yetr I feel like I am on fire? Oh boy a little one of those people! "mommy I want a fishy!" the big person said "ok what one do you want Casey?" "one of the big ones on the top!" the little one said "no no honey you don't want one of those. they are sick and no good, see how bad they look?" said the big one. They picked up a clean cup with a fiesty betta in it and a bowl and left.I tried to show off and prove I was nice too but my fins and gills hurt so bad. I knew the top shelve were hurting just as bad. Was I no good like that big person said?


Well thats all you get that is about 3/4 of a page I have 3 pages written so far would anyone read the rest of it? What do you guys think?
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:11 PM   #2 
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DO MORE! I'm addicted! XD
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:16 PM   #3 
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This is really good so far. Please post more, I want to read it all! :)
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:17 PM   #4 
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haha awsome I will do the rest of what I have written so far!
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:55 PM   #5 
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Ok so I just typed the whole thing out(took about 40 minutes) and I messed up and hit the wrong thing my fingures really hurt now but I will start to type it again so it's going to be a little longer.probably another 30-45 minutes since I am fast but my fingues/wrist hurt lol
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:56 PM   #6 
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Yeah, I'd read it :) Good Start.
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:39 PM   #7 
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The rest of part 1 the begining

It was getting late I could tell because they turned the light off above us and less of those people were around. Another day has gone by and still no clean water. A group of medium sized people comes upto us all. I want to show off and get a good home but I can't, it hurts to much and besides the big person before said Iwas no good an no one would want me. Ouch! The group starts picking us all up and shaking us around and poking at us, it hurts so bad I wish they would make a choice and leave me alone. I can barely see through my water now and they made it worse by shaking me. Why are they laughing? It hurts so bad and I am scared. as they start to walk away the one says "ha look how stupid they all look floating around!" the smaller one in the bunch says "the ones on the top are going to die soon we should leave them alone" the big scary one says "who cares they are just stupid fish forget about them Jessie lets just go". They finally left, maybe I can get some rest now. That small one said I was going to die here I am scared but it hurts so bad if I had clean water I would feel better and get a home like that fiesty betta with the big person that said I was "no good". Two more people come up, wow it sure is a busy night tonight. I turn to look at them it is hard to see with such dirty water. The one with dark hair said "mom we have to save one they need help look how gross they are" the taller one said "you just got Carlisle from your uncles wedding reception" "I know but look at that crowntail" she pointed to me "his fins are all tangled and his water is so dirty" said the shorter one. The taller one said " 5 bucks is alot to spend on a sick fish". was I sick? is that why it burns so badly? They looked at each other for a minute then the taller one said "fine if youfind someone you can get him". They walked away for awhile I figured they had left me like everyone else did. according to all those people I was sick, no good, stupid, and dying. A big man walks up and says "what one do you want?" and then all of the sudden I see the shorter one with the dark hair looking excited and happy she points to me and says "that one please"the tall one says "I can't belive you are doing this" then the big man picks me and puts me down next to the thing that gives me clean water. he turns to the shorter girl and says "you know that these fish are aggressive and can't live with others....right?" "yep I have one at home!" said the shorter girl. "Ok lets see if I can do this" the scary man said then he picked me up and dumped me and my water that still hurts me into a bag, then he sprayed a loud scary thing in the bag and tied it shut. I wish he would have given me clean water cause this stuff still burns. He wrote on the bag and handed it to the shorter girl with the dark hair who I now call mom, she said "thanks!" and we started moving. As I said goodbye to the other three boys that lived on the top shelve I felt bad cause they were hurting as bad as me I wish the one I call mom would have gotten us all, cause even though I was in as much pain as them I had a new mommy that was going to make me feel better I just knew it. We go up to a big scary machine I hope it doesn't hurt me, I already hurt so much. The one I call mom sets me down next to the machine and then the things starts beeping. Finally she picks me up looks at me and types something in the machine. She then moves me onto another part and says "sorry bud but it has to feel your weight". Then the machine starts talking and she picks me up and we walk away.

Well thats all I have written I know it is pretty lengthy but I really want to tell his story.So that is part one the begining.What does everyone think?
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:44 PM   #8 
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I love it. Please keep writing, write his whole story if you really feel like. I have a feeling I will read it all. :)
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:44 PM   #9 
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It's nice so far! I like the details that you've put in. Can't wait to read more.
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:52 PM   #10 
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Thanks I will right more tonight seeing as how I write my best before I go to bed.So I will post part 2 the middle sometime tommorow.I am really enjoying writing about him it really makes me miss the guy alot I have a picture from when I first got him I will post I also have a picture from two days before he died I will post very last.Below is the night I got him.
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