I never said he was, i said he was hasty and didnt read enough about them and to read the pros and cons of something like bettas. He wanted someone to tell him what he wanted to hear, and, like most people, when he read up about peas and bettas he only looked at the cons instead of the pros. He didnt want advice so much as wanting to knwo he was doing everything he could.
You make more pickles with vinegar than honey. Notice how i kept my judgment out till after it died. Im not gonna just sit there being misses nice when someone doesnt cycle their tank, and then doesnt take advice that could help their fish. If he had tried it and it died then it would be different, but he sat there doing nothing but watch it die slowly.
I think you're going to find these forums to be much more frustrating than it is worth, unfortunately. Almost all of what I end up doing here involves dealing with people who are a bit ignorant and are receiving information that wasn't what they wanted to hear. It's still important to be civil, though--because they could easily go to another forum with lower care standards and their bettas would suffer. Sometimes you have to look past how annoying some of the people are that post here for the sake of their fish. The person may run out and get another betta and then not come back when it gets sick as well, y'know?
I'm not saying this out of any animosity or anything, just trying to make the point that being polite isn't about the other member's feelings, ultimately, it's about the care the betta receives. There have been plenty of times I have wanted to just scream at someone, and tell them that they have no business owning their own life, much less the life of another creature, hahaha. But if I did that, they sure wouldn't be open to advice, they'd probably just go to a store and listen to whatever the clerk had to say and then another betta would die. Putting on a front even when you're fuming at someone is par for the course in these forums, and this case wasn't bad at all. Wait awhile, you'll see what I mean. Sometimes we get really bad ones where the people don't want to learn at all, at least this OP was congenial and open to suggestion, and really wasn't unpleasant or overly careless in my opinion, just a bit misinformed.
I wasnt mad at all this whole time, if thats what your stabbing at. If someone genuinly cares about something, be it fish, food, electronics, etc, they wont go elsewhere if they get yelled at or teased or trolled if theyre new. If they really dont care and are just doing it for the flavor of the month, then i see no point in being kind and helping them take baby steps. If they truly want to take care of bettas then they will ghoogle, alot, before coming and posting. Thats what i do, i click and read several links to get a good understanding of what i should do to take care of my fish. Like aquarium salt, I wasnt sure if the box was right, so i googled, fifteen results later i settled on one table spoon every five gallons, one site said one teaspoon every ten gallons, another said a tablespoon every gallon, so i ended up with a tablespoon every five gallons.
I think I'll take the rest of this discussion to PM. This is just getting silly to carry on in this poor person's thread, hahaha.
To the OP, this brief commentary on my part was not directed at you, so please do not feel insulted. I don't think you were out of line in the slightest, and I think it's a terrible pity that you lost your fish.
Well first of all, I'm a she. I thought the name Elyse was a clear girl name. anyways, THANK YOU, adastra, for saying that it's a terrible pity I lost my fish and not to be insulted...
Lenalee, You're really going to tell me that it's my ignorance and stupidity that killed my fish? I didn't just "sit there watching it die slowly." I told you, I couldn't just go out and buy a bag of peas. If you want to blame me for being a stupid college student who shouldn't have the right to own a fish, then go ahead, but I had no means to just go out and buy some frozen peas! I was planning on begging someone with a car to take me to the grocery store to buy peas today, actually, but that isn't necessary anymore. I did do my research, I googled a lot, that's how I discovered this forum in the first place, and I came on this forum when pablo was having problems and searched for anything having to do with swimming problems and I was almost positive that he had swim bladder disease. He was displaying all of the symptoms and every website I looked at said that the best thing to do for swim bladder disease is to not feed them for a few days and it will go away on its own, or to feed him a pea, which I was trying to do. I don't really care if you think that I killed my fish because I don't have the means to drive to the store and buy peas. I know that it wasn't neglect on my part. I came onto this forum GENUINELY LOOKING FOR ADVICE AND INFORMATION, not just someone to stroke my ego and tell me that i'm doing nothing wrong. I can tell you, I don't think I will be posting on here anymore if this is the kind of feedback i'll be getting for just trying to solve a problem with my fish. I'm new to all of this and I would really appreciate not being treated like an ignorant selfish person just because I didn't know about how to properly take care of a betta before I found this forum. Once I learned, I did everything I could to make sure I was taking care of him. I will admit that I didn't know that having a betta involved so much care because I had had one before and didn't take care of it nearly as well as I should have. The average person knows NOTHING about any of this stuff. and you can't fault them for that. But the point is, once I learned how I needed to take care of him to make him happy, I actually tried to do so.
and yes, i'll fully admit that I overfed him unintentionally because I thought the feeding instructions on the bottle would be correct and almost every person i've seen on here says that they feed their betta about twice a day. I thought I was doing the right thing. Needless to say I won't make that mistake next time.
also, Adastra is right, if someone had told me that the reason peas work for constipation is because the betta can't digest it and it works as a shot of fiber, I wouldn't have been as wary about feeding him a pea. All I knew was that i've heard more people on this forum say that feeding a betta a pea is bad because they can't digest it. I didn't know that was the REASON it worked for constipation.
Everyone makes mistakes and does things they regret. Heck, when I started out, my first fish got a terrible ich infestation because I didn't realize the incandescent light on the tank, plus the fact that my heater didn't work on a thermostat was causing horrible temperature fluctuations. I tried salt, I tried copper sulfate, and nothing worked, it just got worse and worse until I finally figured it out.
It wasn't for lack of trying or lack of care, it's just one of those learning situations that you feel really bad about later. Ultimately the fish got better once I realized what the problem was, but he was never really the same after that. We all have to start somewhere, and now I do my best to try to share my experiences so that other people don't have to learn the hard way. This is exactly why you will never see me keep quiet on the issue of non-adjustable heaters because I know what problems they can cause. :)