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Old 06-07-2015, 03:25 PM   #1 
FinnDublynn
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The Terrible Joke Thread

Everyone needs a little giggle now and then!!!

I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's really something I can see myself doing.

Did you hear about the two men that stole a calender? They each got 6 months.

Why don't you ever see Elephants hiding in trees?? Because they're REALLY good at it.

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "p" is silent.

If you're ever cold, just go stand in the corner. They're usually about 90 degrees.

How do you know if you're going to drown in milk? It's "Past your eyes"!!!!

A Steak pun is a rare medium well done.

A man was caught shoplifting balanced on the shoulders of two vampires. He was arrested on two counts.

The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

What did the Mountain name his son?? Cliff.

If you're struggling on what to get someone for Christmas, get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think I have grater problems.

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

I had a nightmare that I drowned in an ocean of orange soda. It took me awhile to realize it was just a Fanta Sea.

I gave away all my dead batteries today, free of charge.

I'm terrified of Elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

What's the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

I heard there was a new store called "Moderation". They have everything there.

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the Bar tender here?"

A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean. The passengers are marooned.

What do you call a group of Killer Whales playing instruments? And Orca-stra.

Breaking News! Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.

I fear for the Calender... its days are numbered.

Have you ever heard of the music band Cellophane?? They mostly Wrap.



Now that I've started the giggles... ADD MORE OF YOUR OWN!! Let's get our daily dose of laughter together!!
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Old 06-07-2015, 03:50 PM   #2 
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Ha!

Two men walk into a bar, you'd think the second would of ducked!

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt on his shoulder and tells the bartender "I'll have a drink and one for the road"!

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was alright but the reception was amazing!
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Old 06-07-2015, 04:16 PM   #3 
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LMAO!
Have you heard the one about the corn field? It was corny!
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Old 06-07-2015, 04:27 PM   #4 
FinnDublynn
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Did you hear about the Scarecrow that got a promotion? He was out standing in his field.
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Old 06-07-2015, 05:02 PM   #5 
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The one my mom always used to tell me growing up. It's so random, but I love it.


Why did the monkey fall out of a tree? Because he was dead.
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Old 06-07-2015, 09:03 PM   #6 
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Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? It was making headlines!
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Old 06-07-2015, 09:15 PM   #7 
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Sorta the same about the bar, but.....

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked and missed it.

Two peanuts walking up the road. One was assaulted.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bay-gulls.

And a little risky,

What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad.
The frog says ribbit ribbit. The horny toad says rubbit rubbit.
(Someone can edit it out if not wanted lol. )
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Old 06-07-2015, 09:46 PM   #8 
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Bawahahahahahahahaa I love it
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Old 06-07-2015, 09:47 PM   #9 
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A sandwich walks into the bar and the bartender says 'I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.'
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Old 06-19-2015, 07:49 AM   #10 
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Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strawberry12 View Post
The one my mom always used to tell me growing up. It's so random, but I love it.


Why did the monkey fall out of a tree? Because he was dead.
;) funny! I grew up with one similar. My dad always said it on proper occasions when we had lost something or anticipated something.... It just confused people who didn't know us, lol..... maybe somebody here will get it :P

Well, you know what the monkey said when he caught his tail in the door? It won't be long anymore.
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