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Old 04-10-2011, 05:46 PM   #1 
SmokeNLark's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Unhappy Broke Up With my Boyfriend

Hey guys, I just need to get this out.

I just broke up with my bf. I feel absolutely terrible. He has anger problems and I've been trying to work it out with him. A month ago, I was going to break up with him, but then he told me he was going to get help. He got pills, but they're not strong enough. He told me last night he's not going back to get a bigger dose and that he's going to stop taking them when they're gone. We argue all the time, I had to do it. I actually stayed with him too long I think.

But I still feel horrible. When he was in a good mood, we had so much fun. I really do care about him and love him. I just can't be treated like he treated me. We've been together for almost 11 months. When I did it, he acted like he didn't care at all.

I hate break ups. It feels like the world is ending, even though I know it was for the best and I will be ok. It just blows my mind that a normal part of life is completely cutting someone out of your life that you've been so close to for so long.

And on top of all of this, I'm transferring schools. This is just wonderful.
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Old 04-10-2011, 06:00 PM   #2 
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Gloucester,uk
Sorry to hear that :(
It's horrible to have a piece of your life removed like that,but dare I say (hate PM's welcome) I think it's best for you.With a transfer of schools etc you don't need pressure from a relationship like that aswell.
Just move on and enjoy a new life and find new friends at the school,the feeling will go away eventually and you will see the reason it was needed.

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Old 04-10-2011, 06:08 PM   #3 
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Well, since you're transferring schools, that means you're still young, which also means you shouldn't have to deal with any sort of abusive relationship, mostly at your age. Obviously he has some issues he needs to figure out, so it sounds like you did the right thing. I've definatly been there, which is why i have been avoiding guys like the plauge for over a year now lol. My ex-bf was a mess too, and getting away from him was one of the smartest moves of my life and i learned ALOT about myself and relationships in the process and now know exactly what to avoid/ what the red flags are. Anyhoo, take care. It can be rough but in the end you did what is best for you and you will probably be alot happier than you were/are now soon enough. You ended that relationship, you're swapping schools, sounds like a new start to meeee.
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Old 04-10-2011, 06:15 PM   #4 
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Definitely no hate PMs Tomsk! I know it was for the better, that's why I did it. I'm just hurt now. I did have good times with him and love him, and I know he feels the same. But he has issues of his own to work out that I can't deal with any more. I tried to be there for him and work it out, I guess I never knew how deep-seeded they are with him.

It is a new start. It's a scary new start though. I'm switching colleges and totally changing majors. I feel good about it, but I'm scared too. and losing the person I can talk to right now sucks.

It's for the best, just hurts like heck.
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Old 04-10-2011, 06:33 PM   #5 
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Nova Scotia
Cheer up, things like this happen. I assure you that you will find someone you love even more, you are only young afterall. When I was a teenager I dated a guy for 3 years, we were together everyday but he became very controlling and had a lot of anger problems as well, I gave him many chances to fix things but it never helped so I broke up with him. I thought I loved him but then I met the most amazing guy and I know I love him for sure! He makes me so much happier than the other guy did and we always have fun together (not like the other guy where we were always fighting). So I promise you your prince is out there! :)
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:31 PM   #6 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
I'm sorry to hear about your break up but, as others said, it's probably for the best. If he was abudive, you definitely don't need that! Just stay focused on your studies and one day you'll meet someone who will love you and treat you like you ought to be treated.
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:29 PM   #7 
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Location: Middlesex County, NJ
One of the best things in the world is to be with someone who makes you feel good about being you. I know you'll find that. Coming from what you came from, it gives you perspective and it's really good that you won't allow someone to treat you badly. You're a smart person. Still, it hurts. :( I hope you feel better in the coming weeks. :)
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:06 PM   #8 
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Thanks guys. It really does help.

Just sucks cause if he didn't have his anger, it would be perfect.

But it's better this way, and I just have to keep thinking that.
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:15 PM   #9 
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:( I'm sorry. I hate breakups, too. I've been in one relationship that lasted six and a half months, and even though I was over him by the time I broke it off, I still felt like complete and utter crap. Just know that you have a friend in us if you need to vent.
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:28 PM   #10 
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Central Florida, USA
Yes, i'd say you have alot of support on this forum, SmokeNLark! See how many of us have been through those anger-oriented relationships. You know that unless he gets ongoing help, he will not change completely.

The world is a very big place, filled with lots of opportunities and great experiences. Here's a perfect chance to explore some new avenues, meet new people and find out exactly what direction you want the rest of your life to take. Enjoy it!! And move forward, never backwards...
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