I know how it feels, recently my 7 betta fish passed away during spring break, but 2 weeks before my oldest and best betta fish passed, his name was Ritotini.
I got really stressed out, and i still cry now, he was the one I spawned with Fiona, my first two bettas i got after about 3 years.
After the sad death, I realized what death ment to me, and i think that the rain that drops onto us, is the fertile eggs him and Fiona make, giving us more life and food.
After spring break, one fish remand, Scales. He was sick, but i knew there was no time, so i didn't contact the fourms, i made a big mistake.
he died 3 days later.