I was never spanked, but I do remember being smacked when I mouthed back. I had my mouth washed out for spitting. I never spit again after that, not even gum! I actually don't think I know how to spit.
Drama thats right, its almost as if people start to stare as soon as your child acts up just WAITING to see the lengths your ognig to go without gonig too far. There is no happy medium to please all on it.
Going limp, yeah thats horrible, and usually she does it when my back is killing me anyways and i cant carry her, wosrt ive ever done is left her on the floor and walked away a bit making sure to say BYE alot and wave and she would come running and offering kisses then go into the cart.
I was spanked, grounded, smacked, whatever was most convenient at the time but my dad was a bit too rough so i try to just use time outs, reward systems, and fake goodbyes. Good rewards are mccdonalds french fries if shes good while shopping or a little mnm pack at the register. I dont see it as spoiling her so much as just teaching her that if you are civil and quiet and polite, life will be much easier for everyone including her XD
When I started a new babysitting job in DE when I was about 19, I told the kids, "I can either be your best friend, or your worst enemy. You'll decide." They were pretty good kids overall. They must be grown up now with kids of their own.
I never understood how they can do the noodle thing either....
Punki- that sounds wonderful! It isn't spoiling when you are rewarding good behavior. I don't think you should beat your kids, I mean, it never has taught any child I have known to ever magically behave, rather resent their parents... the soap/tobassco in my mouth sure as heck did! But my mom sympathized after the punishment and would get me some milk and bread for me.
I mean, taking the kid outside for ten minutes and allowing them to throw their fit and tell them they will be punished later (lose a toy, don't get their favorite meal that night, time out once home, etc.) then sticking by it is a great tool. Then you are not attracting negative attention. If they behave really well, a little treat is great as well because then it is telling them that if they behave, it gets them what they want, but if they misbehave (trying to nag and scream to death about what they want) they're really not going to get it.
I get the bratty kids/parents not discplining kids but ...
some of this talk is a bit hurtful. My son is ADHD and it's VERY hard to control him. No, I won't stay home with him when I have to go somewhere and I don't have anyone to watch him. DHs parents want to be able to get up and go whenever they want, so they don't want to watch my kids often. My mom runs a business out of her home so that's out too. If I have to go somewhere, I have to go somewhere. I discpline my son, if he is misbehaving in a store with a buggy he goes in it. But then you have to listen to him crying 'I don't want to be in the buggy'. Well I have to get food somehow don't I?
And what about autistic kids? Do you really expect parents to stay home 100% of the time and keep their kids in their home 24/7? That's no life. How would you feel if you had no control over yourself, your body, and you were told you had to stay in one place the rest of your life?
Have a little compassion people. It's very very obvious many of you don't have kids and have never been around a ADHD or autistic kid. And the judgement passing makes me very sad.
There are some kids that yeah, their parents just let them run wild and I agree with you on those points. But some kids just can't be 'controlled' :(
I agree with you. A lot of this talk is a bit hurtful and I am actually suprised of hearing what people really thinks about other peoples children. I guess you all would find my son annoying... how exactly can you tell a special needs child over a "normal" child just by looking? You cant. My son is one of loud hyper child but he is also autistic. No parent wants this for their child and to now hear I have to stay home 24/7 so he does not disturb others really upsets me. I feel so bad for son and also guilty for making him way and now he is branded for life. My son loves to go "bye bye" with us and I am not going to tell him he has to stay just to please others. He is just a child! Spankings are not the answer either. All it does it teaches violence and makes the child fear the parents. Yes I agree some children are brats and needs dicipline. A child that is 2 or 3 is going to have tantrums but it is because of the way their brain is developing. That is the age they start learning independence but they dont learn coping skills untill the age of 5. That is why they always want to do things on their own but get fustrated or throw tantrums quickly. That is where the terrible 2 and 3 stage got its name, however I know some adults who never grew out of this stage!! lol
like sillycone mentioned sometimes you just need to put yourself in the parents shoes. Things are not always as they appear.
I agree with you...My nephew is autistic and he is overly hyper.. I usually always take him out shopping with me...He really loves to shop!
You wouldn't believe some of the nasty faces I have received from some people at times..it is so awful and hurtful......No one is perfect ...It is not right to judge someone else..especially when you have no idea who they are or their person situations...
There are people in the world who should not reproduce (meth addicts, etc), who give birth to children who are permanently damaged by their parents drug abuse, and further abused once born into a severely compromised 'family'. There is a criminality to this.
But no family, parent or child is perfect. If you see a situation that is less than perfect, pray for the family. If you see abuse of a child, report it. Support families with challanges. Remember, change begins with YOU.
We were friends with some people from church who have 2 kids, who were brats. Really, I think the problem was that they just wanted attention. For some reason, the father is not very nice to the little boy. He's always telling him to shut up, no one wants to hear you running your mouth, etc. He also told us that one time,when he found out the boy lied to him about something, he got the boy up at like 10 at night and made him stand in a corner for an HOUR! To me, that's child abuse! Then, another time we went out to eat with them and the boy comes walking in the restaurant with a piece of tape over his mouth.
I think discipline has gone out the window with the exception of parents of children with disabilities and that is because they have a much harder job of teaching their children appropriate behavior in society. Along with discipline has gone respect and etiquette.