Olympia, there is a trick you can teach a dog that I find very amusing. Its the "fetch me a beer" trick. Your supposed to ask or tell the dog to go and get you a beer and he/she will go to the fridge, open it up, grab a can of beer (or soda if your not a beer drinker), close the fridge and go to you and give you the said can of beer (or soda).
Now, this trick requires several stages of training, each taking anywhere from days to weeks to months, and then an ending stage to put all the stages together, but its worth the look on your friends' and family members' faces when you have the dog do it in front of them.
Not what I call stupid.
There are dogs, that are not even trained, mind you, that sniff out the faintest hint of cancer in their owner's body and save their lives. Not to mention the dogs that save peoples' lives without hesitation or without any formal training.
Just because they shed on your clothes, which they can't control, does not make them stupid.
Okay, I'm done, and I know your just frustrated right now. Just chillax for a while and it'll be alright.
EDIT: My dog has managed to find a way to jump the fence at her leisure and does so anytime she is out in the yard unsupervised. Going to have to invest in an electric fence to keep her from getting out, or worse, getting hit by a car on the busy street that runs by our house. She is too smart/athletic for her own good.