Coffeehouse chat.

[Sakura8]

Silverfang, I wish my mom regretted it. She's happy as a lark and subconsciously guilts me every time I try to learn a life skill. I've tried learning to cook several times but she pretty much takes over and I stand and watch. Now I'm just so afraid of screwing up I don't even try. Therapy. I should try it except my psychiatrist never got back to me about good therapists in my area and that was a year and a half ago.

Tiki, judging by the pic it's a very pretty dress and your mother and sister can just go jump in the very cold lake. MY chief concern is will it stay up? Strapless dresses tend to gradually travel downward when I wear them. o.O I guess that's what happens when you have no bust.

And it's not just plus-sized dresses that are short. >:(

[ChoclateBetta]

My mom is trying to teach me skill like cooking I will need in life.

[Romad]

Originally Posted by ChoclateBetta

My grandmother was paralized from the waist down when my mom was ten she was in the same car accident and so was her brother and my grandpa struggled with deppression after that he felt guilty the accident did not happen to him. He was supposed to be driving them to school but something came up. Grandma has been in a wheelchair for 30 years.

Your poor grandpa :( It must be awful for him to feel guilty like that even though it wasn't his fault. Your grandma sounds like a nice woman who didn't let her disability make her bitter and hateful.

[Romad]

Originally Posted by Sakura8

My mom lost her mom when she was young and she grew up having to do everything herself with a distant Swedish dad and a sister who was 9 years older than her. So she's overcompensated for her childhood by doing everything for me but in doing so, she's totally crippled my ability to be self-sufficient. Not to mention my self-esteem.

DQ, I agree with Choc. It's best to go while she's in some kind of care. You're a grown woman and you have the freedom to do what you want. Go for it while you can. :)

The overcompensation doesn't do anyone any favors. Classic example is my younger brother. He was the last kid and only boy. My stepmother is the type of person who lets anyone and everyone walk all over her and he figured that out at a very early age. So it was easier for her to give him what he wanted rather than deal with the temper tantrums.

Fast forward 30+ years and he still hasn't really ever been self sufficient. He has relationships with women who take care of him and then when they get tired of it and kick him out, back he goes to mom and dad's house. It's embarrasing for him but he doesn't know how else to be. I can only kick him in the butt so many times (verbally).

[ChoclateBetta]

She is very nice. My grandpa died when I was very young. Now that I think of it might be a brain tumor that killed him.

[thekinetic]

My family is alright there are times when I love them and times when I hate them but somehow I always come off feeling like the black sheep. My mom at best is a kind person, thank heavens I took after her, and at worst kind of indecisive and moody. My dad, geesh, is a bigot and a bit of a racist, he is tough as nails and expects every guy to be like him which is what my brother is but not me. Then there's my brother who at best is an arse and at worst is bigger arse! O_O

[ChoclateBetta]

My sister has APD I dont know if its part of it but she is very loud. My dad served in the military 20 years and expects anything he wants and throws a fit by not talking.

[Laki]

All this goes to show there are no perfect people and families. I grew up poor and always wanted to be in everyone else's family- especially those whose parents gave them money for a school lunch. I never knew such a luxery. In hindsight, I know my mother did her damndest raising 3 girls single handedly. But she is paying the price for it now with severe depression.

Tiki, that dress is lovely! Maybe you can get away with wearing a skin colored spandex skirt for a makeshift lining?? I feel uncomfortable in short skirts too, reason is years ago when one of the Harry Potter movies came out my sisters and cousins and I all made costumes to go see it. On the way in the morning we were walking and the wind blew my skirt up (marilyn monro style) in the middle of a busy intersection. The wind here is unbelievable, nice summer dresses in the season need to be kept in check. lol

[ChoclateBetta]

I hope your mother does well.

[Yuuie]

afternoon all