Yea I have a history of suicide in my family too (as well as alcoholism).
I had depression for I'd say about 5 years (8th grade till about halfway through the last year of high school). It was also seasonal depression which is what other people in my family have as well. After that my depression manifested itself into a permanent anxiety. Basically a permanent feeling that something bad was going to happen at any given time all the time. Dramatic body trembles at bad times included into the deal.
I take herbal sedatives now and they help me well enough, it really isn't severe enough to warrant more. I do have bad days but hey who doesn't..
I do think from it all stemmed my habit of checking dates and times on everything at least a dozen times, and every time I have to meet someone or hand something in I do start thinking I've messed up the time somehow, though it rarely does happen.
I am really apathetic about people's opinions about me however (ooo a teenage girl without self esteem problems, how rare). Every time I tell someone that however, people act like there's something wrong with me, that I'm "shutting myself in" from the outside world. Uh no, I just honestly don't care if you don't believe in my sexuality or what I say is the state of my mental health. I'm not in denial. I'm not boxing in my feelings about the outside world. "Feeling nothing is a sign of depression as well." NO. I stated the truth and beyond that I don't care
if you believe me or not. >_>
Maybe not caring sounds bad.
Your opinion does not sway mine.
Wow talk about going off on a tangent.