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Old 07-10-2011, 01:53 PM   #11 
vaygirl
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You're not in the wrong at all. They're being ridiculous. Friends don't strong arm friends into doing stuff they can't afford. Stick to your guns! Wedding drama makes me insane. Some people just turn into a diva, men included. Hope it went okay for you. You have to do what's right for your family first. All other considerations are secondary. :)
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Old 07-10-2011, 02:09 PM   #12 
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First of all, not money issues :) Just priorities!

You'll never believe this! Want to know why he was all pi$$y faced? Because I spent $50 Gift card on my tank and new betta!! He said we can't afford a cruise but we can get a new pet? He told ME that money should have went on his wedding cruise!! I should have bought my dog food from the store with the gift card, and used the $50 in my pocket for the cruise. Can you believe that?

He also went on to say if I didn't have so many animals, I could afford a cruise. He told ME in MY HOME that enough's enough and I have more than anyone needs!! Can you imagine someone saying that to you?! I have a dog, a cat and a lizard that I have had for 8 years. Other than then I have 5 pet rats that were not adoptable by others (so they live their lives with an experienced owner, me) and I have a 29gal tank and now Ben.

He went on with his usual they have bills too, but throughout the convo I heard that they bought a new bed, went on 2 trips, he's going to a metallica concert next month and he has to buy the new star wars game coming out, which will cost him about $20 a month to play. They have two new rigs, one was just redone for $300, the other is going in to be serviced. He's paying for his mother to be in another province while her niece is dying, he's sent over over $400 so far. So if they were so bad off, where's all this extra money coming from? I told HIM if HE didn't pay for all these things over the last 2 months... he'd have his wedding payed for! AH HA!

Anyways, we have agreed to take a flight to Florida and stand in the wedding and go right back home. No cruise for us. And yes, he lied to his fiance!

When he was here last week trying to talk us back into it, we kept telling him we can't do it, not going to happen. I guess when I walked away, he told my fiance to call him with the final say. My fiance didn't call him, I didn't know he was supposed to (MEN!) and I canceled the trip. That's why his fiance didn't know, he was expecting us to say yes, when I made it pretty clear it was a NO when he was here. No phone call was needed, he had our answer as far as I'm concerned. My fiance has no back bone when it comes to other people though. gah!!

Anyways... after this, it's either his friend or me and the kids. I am not having THAT in my life.
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Old 07-10-2011, 02:19 PM   #13 
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I'm glad you got it cleared up. What you have in your house is none of his beeswax! Plus, you and I both know that a $50 pet is hugely different then shelling out $400 monthly for a cruise. That's more then a car payment. That's a ludicrous amount of money to ask anyone to spend on your own wedding. Really, ridiculous.
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Old 07-10-2011, 02:32 PM   #14 
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I'm glad you got it cleared up. What you have in your house is none of his beeswax! Plus, you and I both know that a $50 pet is hugely different then shelling out $400 monthly for a cruise. That's more then a car payment. That's a ludicrous amount of money to ask anyone to spend on your own wedding. Really, ridiculous.
Apparently he can't see that $50 doesn't equal $400... maybe that's why he keeps saying they're poor. He has no clue how money works!

And besides, this is my home. I asked him if he'll spend $50 on those tickets and trip to the concert, he said yes. Then I said "You have your priorities and things you like, I have mine. Mines a Betta fish and tank, yours is a concert. Mine doesn't last a night though".

I think if they wanted this lavish wedding, bridal party should have been payed for.
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Old 07-10-2011, 02:35 PM   #15 
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Yeah, I agree with you. When I married my husband some people came to stay overnight rather then drive all the way out to Lancaster and we put them up for the night in the hotel. Of course, I had a whole book of wedding etiquette. Maybe you should send him one as a gift? :P
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Old 07-10-2011, 03:07 PM   #16 
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WOW!!! I'm glad you handled that situation... $50 one time compared to $400 a month? Hmm.... yeah, not the same at all! I maintain a 10 gallon community tank, 2 betta tanks, and I have another betta on the way, and I can tell anyone right now that after the initial cost they barely cost you anything. I even keep live plants! There's no comparison there at all...

I'm glad you're going to try and rid him from your life. That's just too much to have around. Life is stressful enough, you don't need anyone (especially someone like that) poisoning you and your family. What kind of example is he for your kids?? What if he comes bursting over another time yelling and hollering with your kids around? That's just not a good thing to have...

I agree with you, Vay. My guy's sister had her wedding, and they wanted it to be where they were (and her fiance's parents were) when her family was either in Hawaii or Arizona (where we are). Most are still in Hawaii, she's in Califonia. She rented out a crap load of rooms in a hotel room, and had a lot of her friends and family stay there FREE. She also paid for everything. My guy & I were so worried on not being able to afford it, but she happily paid for everything we did (dinners, zoo, sea world, etc) because SHE was the one that wanted to do it. I really think people need this wedding etiquette book! ;) I know if I want my wedding anywhere fancy, I will wait until I can pay for those I want to come along, or I will keep something local and very nice, but where they don't need to buy plane tickets, hotels, cruises, etc etc.

Geez, that guy needs a reality check!
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Old 07-10-2011, 09:54 PM   #17 
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thats so frustrating. Im freshly turned 18, and even i understand financial prioritization better then him.
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Old 07-10-2011, 11:15 PM   #18 
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wow,,, real mature. and this is THEIR wedding? why should you have to shell out some for them?.... sadness. they do this becuase they want to, you dont owe them anything. i love how people just make things that are their business yours as well..
i havent even moved out of the house yet (im 18, going to college soon), and even i understand that monetary matters dont work that way..
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Old 07-11-2011, 01:26 AM   #19 
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I agree with everyone. This guy is a D-bag. When my sister got married in Hawaii, my family couldn't come because we couldn't afford it. Then my brother in-law's mom had the balls to say "if my daughter was getting married, I'd do whatever it took to be there. I'd even mortgage my house." This woman is very well-off, and had absolutely no right to say that. So I can definitely feel your pain to some degree.

Basically, it's not your fault, and kudos to you for taking a stand against it.
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Old 07-11-2011, 04:15 AM   #20 
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I agree with everyone. This guy is a D-bag. When my sister got married in Hawaii, my family couldn't come because we couldn't afford it. Then my brother in-law's mom had the balls to say "if my daughter was getting married, I'd do whatever it took to be there. I'd even mortgage my house." This woman is very well-off, and had absolutely no right to say that. So I can definitely feel your pain to some degree.

Basically, it's not your fault, and kudos to you for taking a stand against it.
She really said that???!!!!

People are ridiculous.. It is THEIR wedding, not ours. If they want something so big and spectacular and want us to be there, they should be willing to pay for us to go. It's not like it's some vacation for us, we get to listen to them complain, run around to make their day all perfect, and have awkward family/family moments (as well as put up with those you hate!). It's all for them, why are they so vicious??
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