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Old 07-17-2011, 06:10 PM   #11 
Smr2892
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HD, I absolutely adore your story! In chapter two there were a couple typos, but other than that it's beautifully written! Please keep going with it :) I love when people are gramatically correct in their typing, it makes things so much more smooth and easy to read. A little more detail though, maybe? I'd like to know more about the main character's feelings :) how did it feel when he first popped his egg and was in the water? How will he feel when he's swimming? Does the food wriggle in his little tummy? I'm not in any way saying anything bad about your story; I thoroughly enjoyed it so far!
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Old 07-18-2011, 03:03 PM   #12 
youlovegnats
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I'm so illustrating this..... It's amazing! :D
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Old 07-18-2011, 05:37 PM   #13 
diablo13
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Mmm... Yummy, pink wiggly things, lol, nice story
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