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Old 08-26-2011, 02:20 AM   #1 
fishcurl
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The Couch

After finding out that there are many here who are affected by mental health issues, I felt like a thread dedicated to it would help foster discussion.

It could be to used to discuss challenges, day-to-day life, find a sympathetic ear, or just reach out and find others who may be going through a similar situation.

I'll start to break the ice :)

==============
Ahem, my name is Fishcurl and I was diagnosed with clinical depression in my early 20s. I suspect that I was actually suffering from it much earlier than that given that I tried to kill myself when I was 14. My parents did not understand, especially my mom. They felt I was "just being a teenager."

Since my diagnosis and subsequent ongoing treatment, things have, for the most part, improved. I have accomplished more than I could have if it were not for the support of my husband and my doctor. That isn't to say that I don't have relapses.

I was free of symptoms for years until I became pregnant with my daughter and developed ante-partum depression. Fortunately it was caught early and was under control before she was born. Since then I've had mini-relapses and one big relapse earlier this year.

Sometimes it feels like I'll never put myself back together after a relapse and that each time it gets harder to pull out. My close family knows about my disease but my friends and acquaintances do not. Although I know my disease is valid and real, every time I think about telling someone I feel like I'm giving them an excuse for why I let them down or that they would treat me differently or think I was lazy, anti-social, etc.

That said, I know there are people worse off than I and am thankful that I have support and coping mechanisms in place.

=============

So there's my story. I don't need any response, it is what it is and I'm okay with that :)

Do feel free to add your own story, ask questions, or just chat.
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Old 08-26-2011, 03:27 AM   #2 
Abby
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*Sits by Fishcurl* HUG?

I well im not dr'd anything but im up or down these days if im not WAY up or WAY DOWN im prob tipsy with jim beam lol

HUG!
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:21 AM   #3 
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Chronic anxiety here, apparently through multiple generations of women in my family. The impending possibility of effects from the hurricane isn't helping it any.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:12 PM   #4 
Littlebittyfish
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I have agoraphobia/ panic attacks.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:15 PM   #5 
dramaqueen
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I have had problems with depression and anxiety for awhile now. I think I had it for a long time but didn't really know until it came to the surface after my Mom's back surgery last year. My dr put me on meds and I'm doing much better but I still have days when I don't feel so great.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:29 PM   #6 
Sweeda88
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I have major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, Bi-Polar 2(it's different than the regular Bi-Polar. It's less intense and the episodes are shorter), ADHD, and mild agoraphobia. I've had problems since I was 12. I'm sure the onset of puberty somehow changed the chemicals in my brain and that's how it started. I've had to try dozens of medications over the years and finally have a combination that works, for now. I never know when one or all of my medications will stop being effective. I've had 9 hospitalizations for severe depression and except for the last 3, cutting. I rarely go out to social situations because I can't deal with people and difficult situations. I also have a massive guilt complex, and feel guilty for things that normal people wouldn't even think about. Sometimes I feel that no one will ever understand me or accept me for who I am. On top of that, I'm morbidly obese and going through steps to get approved for gastric bypass. I also have severe pain in my hips and back nearly every day. So right now, I can't finish my GED or work because I have too much to take care of physically and mentally. It seems like my life is easy to outsiders, but it sucks and I hate it. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make my problems disappear. The only things that get me through are my family and my faith in God. That's it.
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:03 PM   #7 
dramaqueen
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People who have never been through what you've been through will say it's easy. Baloney! I have times when I feel like I'm nothing but a burden toi my family.
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:11 PM   #8 
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I've never been diagnosed with anything. My Dad was a diagnosed bipolar manic depressive and he was HEAVILY medicated. At one point he was on two different anti psychotics and lithium and a couple other things. He had awful tremors and very slurred speech. He would get confused very easily. I think I avoid 'the couch' because of that. All my issues probably come from a very chaotic childhood and one pretty awful thing that happened when I was 8.

I'm afraid to answer the door sometimes. I have trouble sleeping at night and then I sleep all morning. I get butterflies in my stomach and I'm not always sure why. I flip out if I get lost. I worry about things and try and think ahead to what I'd do if 'this' happened. I don't trust men in general.

Basically I've become my own parent. I talk myself through my issues. I tell myself I'm being silly (when I get scared to answer the door). My husband is great. He helps me, listens to me, tries to understand when I'm flipping out that I can't help myself. I drank myself silly for many, many years. I'm 5 years sober now. That has helped tremendously. A lot of the things that used to make me mad just don't anymore. But I also can't drink and get loose so I tend to avoid people and party situations. I'd rather be at home with my family.

I'm not really surprised that a lot of us have issues. I think people who hang out on forums and have pets often turn to those two things to help them. It's easier to write for me, then talk. Of course, if I know you well, I often won't shut up. :P
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:22 PM   #9 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vaygirl View Post

I'm afraid to answer the door sometimes. I have trouble sleeping at night and then I sleep all morning. I get butterflies in my stomach and I'm not always sure why. I flip out if I get lost. I worry about things and try and think ahead to what I'd do if 'this' happened. I don't trust men in general.
This is so similar to how I feel alot of the time you could almost be writing it about me too...

Thank you for sharing what you've written (all of it not just the quoted part). It's nice to know there are others who understand these things. :)
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Old 08-26-2011, 07:44 PM   #10 
fishcurl
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Sweeda - I'm obese, too, though I don't think I'd be considered morbidly obese. When my relapses occur, the pounds pile on. I know that exercise helps, but if I'm too tired to exercise then I can't get out the door. Vicious cycle. I hope the bypass surgery comes through for you. And I know what you mean about snapping the fingers and wanting things to disappear.

dragonflie - ack, I didn't realize you were in the hurricane path - best of luck and well-wishes for your health and safety.

vaygirl - I think you're exactly right. One common theme I'm seeing is that many of us have trouble speaking in person. I'd much rather type than talk face to face with someone. I get so self-conscious, say the wrong things (trying too hard), or I clam up and come off as arrogant. Typing is so much easier! I can pre-censor what I say. Lol, but even then I mess up and say/do silly things ;p
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