So my roommate has had her betta for almost 2 months. It is living in a little square cube that is less than 1/3 of a gallon. She rarely cleans it, and the water will half way evaporate before she fills it up again. I am super worried about this fish. She won't name it because she said all of her other fish that she named died. They didn't die because she named them, they died because she has no idea how to take care of them! I don't know how to tell her without offending her. I am very tempted to go out and buy a new tank for it, but I know she won't clean it. I really want to take it and start taking care of it, but she likes this fish (for all of the 2 minutes each day that she pays attention to it). I know she wouldn't give it up. My only other idea is to go out and get my own fish & tank and maybe she will see how I take care of mine and start following that too? I didn't bring my tanks and stuff because I wasn't sure if I would have room. I already have 2 tanks at home but I am tempted to go buy a 5 gal and a fish and show her how happy my fish is when i take care of it the right way. Advice! Please!
xD I agree as well! It honestly sounds like a great idea from my point of view because you would be leading through example in a semi-sneaky way ^.^ And of course if she inquires about it, you'd be able to tell her about this site and give constructional advice from your experiences without really being offensive because it seems like a situation that wouldn't really go down a bad road unless you were being rude.. >.> but I highly doubt you would be that way in a case like this. And like Mistress said, you can always say that you were inspired to get a fish as well since she has one and bring up your passion on how you've had experience with them before back at home- thus you can compliment her by saying she's "brought back that spark" in you to get a fish at college (I'm assuming your in college, but please correct me if I'm wrong xD) even though you were originally against the idea, and that since you've had experience beforehand, it wouldn't appear as if you were "showing her up" seeing as how some people see it as that at times -.-
Well I've already told her that I keep the room warm on purpose because she doesn't have a heater in her tank and Bettas are tropical fish. And she can't do anything about the temp. because she took the best side of the room (with more space) and I have to sleep in the bed that is up against the air conditioner. I said his tank is really small and he is in this dark corner and he looks sad, hoping to inspire her to get a bigger tank, but she said he's fine. I really think I am going to get a tank and a fish too, and I am considering maybe bringing up my 10 gal and dividing it so we could have both fish in the same tank (that I would then take care of). I don't think she would be up for that though because she REALLY likes this little cube aquarium she thinks it is "SO CUTE" because you can change the background. (Weird squares. As far away from the natural environment as you can get). I mentioned that she should be careful because it is so small he could jump out of it easily and her and her friend were like "I have NEVER heard of Bettas jumping" I'm like seriously???? Mine jump all the time that is like what they are known for besides fighting. I am just very frustrated because I have made subtle suggestions and she doesn't even hear them.
Just get your own set up and take care of it properly. You aren't going to change her mind easily.. so sadly what will happen is she will see your fish thriving and healthy while she is unfortunately burying hers. Maybe then she will see that you know what you are talking about and come to you. Also, seeing yours may make her jealous and want something similar.
Sad how people don't get that fish are animals too. Maybe they can't snuggle with you at night, or rub your feet when you get home.. but they have their own way of saying hi and affection. Poor guy, can't imagine being in your shoes. =(
Ah.. poor fish.. she sounds like the kind of person that loves the way they look and treats it more like an accessory than giving enough of a damn to take on the responsibility of taking care of another life.. -.- Sorry, if that's a bit harsh.. but yeah.. I still think the best way to deal with the situation is through example. If anything, it'll eat at the back of her mind that your betta will thrive, and hers is obviously hanging on by a thread, therefore shoving in her face that she's obviously not treating it properly.. seems like the type of person who needs something shoved in her face anyway, and luckily I'm not there to do it ^.^ *twitch twitch*
I'd say lead by example and or just tell her straight up that the facts are
Bettas need x, y, and z. If she doesn't do them, her fish will die soon. Since she likes her fish and "tank" so much, she wouldnt want that to happen...right? ...right? That might get her attention.
People will always be offended. That's on her, not you. It might be worth it to get her attention and save the life!
GreenTea: Agreed.. It's definitely on her if she's too stuborn to actually see what she's doing is wrong.. Although some people just don't care enough about the animal and they don't see their fish dying as much of a loss, 'cause ey think the betta's life (or any animal that can be kept as a pet for that matter) is basically worth the price they are listed in stores... I've known plenty of people that have animals and they love them because they're "so cute!" but neglect them harshly because they're not willing to put in the effort and realize what pride they can give the animal and themselves if they tried to train them or care for them the way they should...
My friend is neglectful of her female betta.. I've tried to approach it nicely, but it never seems to work.. So I've been riding her ass (pardon my french) and it's actually working xD Sometimes you just need a bit of tough love, and if your room mate can't see that it's constructive criticism, then that's just her being immature and not sucking down her pride enough to have a bit of humility in admitting that what she's doing is wrong in this case... (if anything, karma's a bitch)
But yeah, I'd say it's definitely worth trying to do something, be it leading through example, trying to be a bit more firm, or whatever. If things don't go well, you can at least look back on it and say you tried, and that's still worth something to be proud of.
well .. the hard part would be that if she confronted her straight up and ended up offending her .. and pissing her off .. then that girl would end up being the worst room mate to live with .. and i'm assuming you'll have to deal with her till at least the end of the semester/quarter.. and that i'm sure is a considering factor on how to approach the situation .. because you do have to live with her for a while .. as i am assuming you are in assigned dorm rooms .. and it's not as though u can just up and change room mates if she ends up turning ugly ..
so i still think it would be best to let it slide .. don't need to tell her a thing .. and lead by example .. those type of stubborn people will never learn unless they realize it themself .. and that will always be the hard way .. so let her learn from her own mistakes ..
so save yourself the headache .. trauma and drama .. get ur own betta .. take care of it properly .. and when her fish dies or get's sick or doesn't look as happy and healthy as yours (unfortunate that her betta has to suffer .. but on the side u can secretly at least do water changes for the little guy when she's not looking and try to at least give him clean water) .. she may just end up turning to you for advice and ask you "how you are doing it" ..
it's unfortunate that her betta will live a tough life .. and i hope for the best for him that he will pull through and .. that she will realize it soon before he will have to suffer too much .. but .. in such a delicate situation as a dorm mate .. you are forced to share the same space regardless if u like the person or not .. so .. make it easier on yourself for the long and try not to instigate a fight ..
it's the beginning of the school year .. you'll end up stressing yourself out for the rest of the year if you end up in a big fight with her right now ..
so after you get ur tank .. you can also decorate it .. with a background ..
or take some plastic sheeting (or these foamies sheets .. u can buy at michaels arts and crafts store) and make better decorations (like flower cut outs .. or hearts or stars or themed to the season or whatever you like) for your tank that you can stick to the sides of ur tank (use this command tape made by 3M .. it's this glue/putty type thing and it doesn't leave any residue and is double sided stickies) and u can change your decorations too ..