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Old 07-06-2011, 08:10 PM   #1 
bettaloverforever16
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Betta Story

(I would like some critictsiom on this, and please say if I should continue. Thanks!!)

Little fry swam around me by the dozens, their fins now beganing to take a little color. I twisted around, but I wasn't big enough to see my fins. Hearing a voice I swam near it, "They grew up well, I'm sumprised." The voice was deep, but I couldn't place where it came from........

(Just the begining, please tell me if you want me to continue.)
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Old 07-06-2011, 08:34 PM   #2 
Mermaid Fish
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continue!!
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Old 07-07-2011, 12:46 AM   #3 
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(Thanks)

My heart started pounding slowly, the voice was getting louder, but now I couldn't place what he was saying. My brothers and sisters didn't seem to notice, they just kept on swimming. Suddenly a big net came from nowhere and scooped up one of my brothers that was floating upside down. Fry everywhere scattered into hiding place. Only I stayed, too scared to move...................


(Continue?)
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Old 07-07-2011, 11:12 AM   #4 
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continue(: even though this was a earlier today-ish
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Old 07-07-2011, 01:20 PM   #5 
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Continue!
____________________

Fishy Friends-

Betta's: Tom, Sarah, Shark, Red

Guppies: Trouble, Molly, Claire

Algae Eaters: Avon (snail), Sprite (sucker fish)

Fry: 16 guppy fry

TheBlueBettaFish
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Old 07-07-2011, 07:52 PM   #6 
bettaloverforever16
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I finally managed to move, darting to a heavily think plant, my heart was going twice ore faster than normal. It fianlly slowed down, the fry had started to swim again. Swimming out, worms came into the tank. Feeding Time!! I darted for a smaller worm, gobbling it up. Our fins were growing bigger by the day. A few fry had come up and admired my orange dalmation coat. There was only one more dalamtion coat, and she was a female. The others were either royal blue, or deep red with a blue splash to their fins. My belly full, and content, I drifted off to sleep, unaware of what would happen tomorrow.........

(Is this good so far?)
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Old 07-07-2011, 08:36 PM   #7 
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yupp!
(:
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Old 07-08-2011, 01:57 PM   #8 
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Old 07-08-2011, 02:55 PM   #9 
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exciting.
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Old 07-09-2011, 12:50 AM   #10 
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I like :)
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