Originally Posted by Gloria
Well my male is actually really good, i am suprised, he hasn't bitten at her once, i don't really work so i have been able to watch them all day long and all he is is chase her and every now and then he'll just sit and look at her, but she swims away. They have been in together for 2 days now. Should i be putting the female in a container at night and when i go out and cannot watch them?
They both flirt swim and "follow the leader" during the courtship ritual. Though the female has been bitten, she will not become stressed and lose her vibrant color. If this is happening in your tank, then leave them be.
But if the female loses her color/ become pale or shows horizontal lines, swims away immediately when the male approaches - indicates that the female is not ready to spawn. You should separate them and recondition.
Place the female in a solitary, not in sight of other bettas (a smaller tank/jar would be better because you could easily move it here and there). Show her the male once in a while. If she doesn't respond, immediately remove her. Hours later try flaring her to another female or a mirror. Do this for a few days then show her the flirting male again. Keep doing this until she responds (flirt). Once she responds, you could either put her in the breeding tank with the male or float her for a day or two then release.
IAL and oak leaves are personal preference. They are specially good for CT but HM don't really need them. Don't make the water dark brown. Just make it yellowish or light brown (specially HM). They work as a sedative and natural medicine (....can't think of the right word). So it calms them down a bit. But your male sounds non aggressive/vicious so IMO you don't really need them.