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Old 10-12-2011, 02:14 PM   #11 
fishman12
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Ok. I'm still thinking. Thanks.
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:13 PM   #12 
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I'm researching now...
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Old 10-13-2011, 03:05 PM   #13 
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good luck :) try using strong words too, to emphasize
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Old 10-14-2011, 05:01 PM   #14 
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Maybe you can talk about petstores in general instead of singling out Petco.
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Old 10-14-2011, 06:11 PM   #15 
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Maybe... Research stunk, found nothing... I'm going to do some on this site for now.
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Old 10-15-2011, 03:42 AM   #16 
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What exactly is your idea? Like, what are you trying to prove? "Petstore care" doesn't say much--are you saying how some are better than others, that in general betta care is worse than other animal care in the same store, that the life of a betta who experienced poor care is different than one straight from a breeder, etc.? It would help to narrow it down to what you want to say!
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Old 10-15-2011, 09:07 PM   #17 
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Just the general mal-cure.
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Old 10-15-2011, 09:34 PM   #18 
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well, if it's persuasive, you'll probably want to make the topic more specific. Or at least the sentence describing it needs to be more specific. So like, you are trying to persuade people that petstores do not provide adequate care.

Now you'll need to think about the arguments people could have against it.
First, you'll need to provide proof that the care is bad, using examples of wild bettas and disproving any myths about them.
Next, people will wonder "But how can a few days in a cup hurt? They will go to a new home soon right?"
So you might provide examples of a betta living in a petstore for like a whole month or more, AND then you now have the ability to talk about petstores giving false information to customers in order to sell the fish.
They may ask, 'why would they provide false info, big tanks are more expensive, don't they want the money?'
You can now describe how they are labeled as a beginner animal, and that the majority of uneducated owners would not buy a betta if they knew it took all that money. You could poll petstore people asking them how much they would be willing to spend on a betta, and ask them how they feel knowing they would possibly need to spend 100 dollars to properly house one. Now you can say how this would affect the business of the store.

I know one person mentioned on here that their walmart basically has insurance on their fish, and that they at least get some of the money back even if the betta dies. if you could find info on that, there is total proof that they have no reason to care for the fish!

Asking petstore workers about it will help. You can find workers and ask them about if they even think the fish are getting good care.

:D Those will be REALLY strong points!! Top it all off with stories of long living bettas and healthy strong fish and you have an excellent start to the research needed!
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Old 10-15-2011, 09:36 PM   #19 
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WOW, great points, thanks!
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Old 10-15-2011, 10:20 PM   #20 
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lol, when you do enough 20 page essays you start to get the hang of it after a while.

Another tip for making your points go smoothly and easily. Summarize each paragraph with a single sentence that actually makes sense. Almost like turning your whole paper into a single paragraph. Use these sentences to help write your topic sentences, and help develop the paragraph.. Helps make things easier when you shorten it, and then expand your points!

Like, one sentence for a paragraph would be: Bettas, being tropical fish from Thailand, need warm, clean water to live.

You would follow that sentence with the rest of your paragraph, describing the big rice paddies they would live in in the wild and the natural temperatures they feel comfortable in, as opposed to the cold water found in the store. Also mention how due to evaporation, water with no heating is naturally a few degrees below the room temperature!

:D it'll be fun!
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