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Old 11-01-2011, 04:38 PM   #11 
tpocicat
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The way I see it...if your bettas are happy, that's the most important thing. Sure keeping the water warm, and clean are very important, but besides that, there are many ways to keep your fish that are right for you.
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Old 11-01-2011, 07:48 PM   #12 
Bombalurina
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I have to say I am sometimes surprised at how critical forum members can be. Criticism should always be given (constructively) but I think a lot of people can be too harsh in doing it. There is always a polite way to give your opinion. :) And I do know what you mean - on a different forum I was slammed for not replacing my faulty nitrate kit because I chose to spend the money on a vet bill, instead, which was just ridiculous. We have to learn to shrug off those criticisms that are blatantly outrageous, cruel or nitpicky, because ultimately, we know our situations and our bettas.
Obviously some people will use this excuse and say their betta is 'happy' in room temperature water in a 500ml jar or something, but obviously that's not true for you. :)
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Old 11-01-2011, 08:10 PM   #13 
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All forums tend to be..horribly critical. Try visiting a computer forum. Expect to leave in tears, they are HARSH.

The danger of forums is we can let out passion blind us in anger and we lash out on the new user who is doing something wrong. But... If a new user is attacked on a computer forum and is attacked to the point that they run away--that's no problem. They can just get a new computer or deal with the problem. But if a new fish owner is attacked to the point where they run away... They still have a sick fish who can suffer and die without the help.

I think it would be nice if things were put a little more gently :) Yes, we do want the best for the fish, but remember if you scare the owner off with an attack, the fish has not been helped at all!
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Old 11-01-2011, 09:04 PM   #14 
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^ +1000, purplemuffin! :3

No one has been overly critical to me personally, but I do know where the OP is coming from in saying that a lot of people are really harsh sometimes on this site. Most definitely not pointing any fingers at all. I see people getting exasperated easily, and it's understandable when we're talking about beautiful living creatures we all only want the best for. But still. It's like when I used to peer tutor special ed kids (definitely not saying anyone is mentally handicapped, just making a comparison. lol). It would be like me going off on one of my autistic kids because they won't talk or they only eat the same thing day after day. They don't know any better. New owners often don't know any better. They try their best with what they have. As long as the criticism is strictly constructive and not mean, I think there's nothing wrong with it. It's when people start nitpicking and throwing out broad generalizations when feelings get hurt.
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Old 11-01-2011, 09:04 PM   #15 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemuffin View Post
All forums tend to be..horribly critical. Try visiting a computer forum. Expect to leave in tears, they are HARSH.
heh.. My normal forum hangout is Genmay on the [H]ard|Forum.. Nothing anyone can say on any forum bothers me too much anymore.
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Old 11-01-2011, 10:34 PM   #16 
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Man all these replies have really helped me a lot. I guess it stands to reason that these people are just passionate about their fish, though one should never assume that the other person isn't either.

It would seem to me, that anyone who would bother to register and post on a forum about bettas has enough heart to treat them like a pet, and not like an object. Most of those spontaneous-buyers wouldn't even bother to go on a forum in the first place, but if they do, should be welcomed with open arms so that they can learn about their betta in a safe and tactful environment.

I agree with what a lot of people are saying, and it's really helped me understand things too, especially hearing from some of the senior members, that they don't always follow "standard protocol." XD I also got a kick about the computer-forum comment.

I guess the reason it struck me so deep, is because I am exceedingly passionate about my pets, from my fish, to my bunnies, to my hermit crab. When I see bunnies in cages it always makes me cringe, and I often like to tell people to get them a solid flooring for their feet, so I can see why the members here tend to jump-the-gun when it comes to betta critique, though yes, it should always be dealt with tact, or else it's just spoken out of the need to be right, and less out of the love for the animal.

Anyway, this discussion has encouraged me to tackle my sorority tank with new fervor n.n
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Old 11-01-2011, 10:57 PM   #17 
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Plus we are all a little biased since we strongly believe that we have a "right way" when it comes to things. For instance, I would tell you to plant your sorority to the point that even seeing one of your fish would be like seeing bigfoot because they could be so well hidden. However, others have had success with sororities that are lightly planted. It really is about finding what works for you.
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Old 11-01-2011, 11:11 PM   #18 
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Plus we are all a little biased since we strongly believe that we have a "right way" when it comes to things. For instance, I would tell you to plant your sorority to the point that even seeing one of your fish would be like seeing bigfoot because they could be so well hidden. However, others have had success with sororities that are lightly planted. It really is about finding what works for you.
Funny you should mention XD I wanted to do up a nice planted tank, but not to the point where they're TOTALLY hidden. XD but I do want some nice greenery.
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:33 AM   #19 
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I tend to get angry sometimes, when people keep fish in small tanks. Not because I don't think they are good fishkeepers, but because then someone getting a betta for the first times goes; Oh 1/2 gallon is fine lots of people do it! It's only a bit smaller than a 1 gallon and that's a good home!

The other, more grouchy side of me notes that when I started I was a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE person if I had a 1 gallon tank. And I 'NEEDED' a 10 gallon, and I 'needed' the most expensive best food, and I 'needed' expensive adjustable heaters, ect. And I spent a lot of time and money getting the 'best' things and wanting to be part of the cool kids club. So part of it is feeling a little like I had to walk uphill in the snow both ways... and now things are laxing up.

Honestly the way people talk here your 10 gal is overstocked if you have more than one betta fish in it. I started to realize how silly it sounded when someone said something about people not 'playing' with their fish enough being bad owners.

And you know what? I've been a lot happier since I stopped treating my fish like little people. I change the water slightly less often and the fish are happier. Instead of dunking them in 8 kinds of salt at the first hint of illness I wait a bit-- and you know, what, it clears up sometimes. I don't carefully measure my food and feed three small meals a day.

Do you know what I've seen since doing this? Happier, healthier fish who are more vibrant and more active. Of course, I'm starting to come out of my year-long obsessive streak of wanting ever betta I ever saw, too. I like my 10 gallon a lot more now that it's not divided into 4. Calder likes it a lot too. He used to be scared of 10gs, but as I slowly moved other fish out, and slowly he space go larger... well, it's not too big for him anymore.

Anyway my point is, I think a fish has basic needs... and then I think there's what people are comfortable with and they act like you're a terrible person if you don't have that. I enjoy my fish a lot more doing things my way. And most of the time, I just lie here if I know it's going to be a problem. (Horrible, I know. But I'd rather not face a lecture I know the front and back of 80 times for changing my 2.5 g once a week instead of twice)
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:00 AM   #20 
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Originally Posted by elijahfeathers View Post
...
Honestly the way people talk here your 10 gal is overstocked if you have more than one betta fish in it. I started to realize how silly it sounded when someone said something about people not 'playing' with their fish enough being bad owners.

And you know what? I've been a lot happier since I stopped treating my fish like little people. I change the water slightly less often and the fish are happier. Instead of dunking them in 8 kinds of salt at the first hint of illness I wait a bit-- and you know, what, it clears up sometimes. I don't carefully measure my food and feed three small meals a day...
Well there's nothing silly about playing with a fish attall, actually. I loved my fish more than I've loved most people, and treated him no different than I'd treat family. I'd show him the things I bought from stores, I would dangle shiny things in front of his tank throughout the day to keep him stimulated, I would talk to him. When he got sick and I had to leave for a few weeks, I left my photo with him and hell, I even skyped... my fish... XDD I left him videos so he wouldn't be lonely. That little guy stayed by my photo as he got sick and old u.u he was going blind, but he stayed in that part of the tank, watching my photo awaiting my return. He held on to the last bit of life just until I came home. He passed away the following morning as I held him in his bowl... u.u (not IN his bowl, held his bowl.)

Fish are like little people, as is any animal when you get to know them.

That being said, in all other accounts, I agree with you. It seems ridiculous to -over-think something, while there are definitely some things to keep in mind. I believe the forums have made me more savvy in understanding my fish's eating patterns, diagnosing possible health issues, and providing non-harmful water conditions (which was always a struggle with me).

But yeah, I never got why people would be mad, per say. The only reason for that is if the person started talking about how they loved to see their fish in the tiniest bowl possible just to see them suffer >,< which I don't think is ever anyone's case.
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