Betta Fish Care  
Go Back   Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care > Betta Chat
Check out the eBook Betta Fish Care Made Easy
betta fish
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-02-2011, 03:43 AM   #21 
TheKingsFish
New Member
 
TheKingsFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Great White North (NOT Alaska)
I agree that the learning curve can be daunting. And no offense to those of you living in the States, but some people giving advice on this forum tend to be a little American-centric in telling people where to look for things instead of checking the nationality of the person seeking advice and asking what they have available. For instance, I live in a small-medium sized city in British Columbia. The nearest Pet Smarts are 2 hours away and 6 hours away...and as far as I know the nearest Petco is 7.5 hours and a border crossing away. In the event of an emergency, some of the things these forums recommend aren't readily accessible--and ordering on-line isn't always a viable option. I know that when someone is unable to find or afford aquarium salt I look before I tell someone in Arkansas that they can find Kosher salt at the Real Canadian Superstore for about a buck; or that Levamisole is banned by the government and is therefore unavailable; and Panacur can only be obtained with a prescription from a vet. (long story)

Sometimes the fancy submersible heaters that adjust cost more in shipping and handling than the entire tank set-up (including plants and fish) simply because I live in Canada, so I make due with either the cheap submersible from Wal-mart or an adjustable heater that doesn't submerge. As a student with a tight budget I make the best of what I have to work with, so I can understand some of the discomfort that comes with getting flak from some of the elitists on this forum.

It's not the new betta owners that should meet criticsm, but the pet shops that don't do the proper research into the animals they carry, and the employees who don't care about the fact that the fate of something that is every bit as capable of feeling and thinking as we are can be determined by bad advice and inadequate information. I know that before my room-mate found this forum there were a lot of things that even the professors who gave me my first betta didn't know (like flakes are not the best things to feed them). It wasn't until then that I learned to properly read the nutritional information on the packets (my fish don't need the MSG present in Hikari pellets, for instance). However, I agree that there is no one right way to do things...you have to find the basics that everyone agrees on and figure out your own way from there. I try my best to ask questions before I try to give answers unless someone else has asked them first (or there is a sticky about it).

I wish the best of luck to new members and ask that they don't get too discouraged as long as they are not actually putting their pets in danger after they have been made aware that there is a problem. Things do get better once you have a better handle on what you are doing.
TheKingsFish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 04:31 AM   #22 
Bambi
Member
 
Bambi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Yeah. I actually find this forum to be alot more relaxed then another one i'm on. The other one has better info alot of the time,but the members all seem to snap at you before you even do anything wrong(it's what actually made me join this forum. xD I use the other one to reference sicknesses or help but i come here to talk and socialize.)

Hmm, what's that saying? Take what they all have to say with a grain of salt? or something... Anyway, you'll get alot of advice and help, but some of it will conflict. The best thing is to do in get opinions here then cross reference it with some searches on the web. see what you get.

I always suggest a ten gallon to people just because i know from my own experience that it's is alot easier to take care of and doesn't take up much room, and they're cheaper then even a small tank.
Bambi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 08:08 AM   #23 
tracyalexa
Member
 
tracyalexa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
I felt exactly the same way when I first came here. To be quite honest, I found this place to be pretty unwelcoming. But I decided to brush that off and keep coming back because I was learning quite a bit.

When I post something now, there are a handful of people who've advice I will really give thought to (Old Fishlady being the main one...but usually I have to do a search to see if she's commented in a similar area). There is a lot of knowledge here but arrogance comes with that and at the end of the day, I think people just want the best for the fish.

I was a dog handler for years and let me tell you, no matter how great the dogs look - there were always people there to correct and down you. It took the joy out of dog showing for me.

I love my bettas and if I want to keep them in a freakin puddle, I will. No amount of bashing here or anywhere will change that. So....you have to be strong in your research, your love for the fish and your will to ignore the flames...it happens, it's life. :) Overall this is a great resource.
tracyalexa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 12:17 PM   #24 
ThirdPotato
New Member
 
ThirdPotato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Yorktown VA
XD Sounds harsh! Yeah this forum does seem to have a lot more fun socializing threads as well n.n

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bambi View Post
Yeah. I actually find this forum to be alot more relaxed then another one i'm on. The other one has better info alot of the time,but the members all seem to snap at you before you even do anything wrong(it's what actually made me join this forum. xD I use the other one to reference sicknesses or help but i come here to talk and socialize.)

Hmm, what's that saying? Take what they all have to say with a grain of salt? or something... Anyway, you'll get alot of advice and help, but some of it will conflict. The best thing is to do in get opinions here then cross reference it with some searches on the web. see what you get.

I always suggest a ten gallon to people just because i know from my own experience that it's is alot easier to take care of and doesn't take up much room, and they're cheaper then even a small tank.
ThirdPotato is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 12:21 PM   #25 
ThirdPotato
New Member
 
ThirdPotato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Yorktown VA
Quote:
Originally Posted by tracyalexa View Post
I felt exactly the same way when I first came here. To be quite honest, I found this place to be pretty unwelcoming. But I decided to brush that off and keep coming back because I was learning quite a bit.

When I post something now, there are a handful of people who've advice I will really give thought to (Old Fishlady being the main one...but usually I have to do a search to see if she's commented in a similar area). There is a lot of knowledge here but arrogance comes with that and at the end of the day, I think people just want the best for the fish.

I was a dog handler for years and let me tell you, no matter how great the dogs look - there were always people there to correct and down you. It took the joy out of dog showing for me.
...
I was very much the same way. I kept coming back because the information was invaluable. OldFishLady has helped me out as well XDD Yeah the arrogance with a lot of the users was a big turnoff for me more than anything. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's arrogance. But yeah, as long as it's care for the true welbeing of the animal at the end of the day, thats all that matters.

And yeah, the thing about the dog handling; I had wanted to get into breeding bettas but the more I peruse those forums and other sites the more I'm turned off to the idea... For one, the arrogance in it is ridiculous XD people wanting to breed the best of the best of the best, to the point where the bettas are treated like a commodity than a pet, and I just don't think I'm cut out for that. I'd rather have a closer relationship to one or a few bettas than to breed more than I can handle u.u
ThirdPotato is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 01:02 PM   #26 
Myates
Member
 
Myates's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Awww =(

Sometimes I may come off as rude or harsh, but I try to be helpful first off. I tend to get out the info that is needed first, and when that is said and done, I'll come back and be more relaxed and chatty. But I've had my off days here and there.

For the most part I see most of the people here as friendly and helpful. But, that is my experience as that I spend 98% of my forum time in Betta Care, Emergencies, and the habitat section. I come down to the chat part maybe for a few minutes a week or less even in the past. So my experience is only from a few sub forums and in those I haven't seen a whole lot of rudeness. Just people wanting to help, and sometimes frustration when it seems as if their help isn't being listened to.

I'm sorry you've been feeling this way, especially since you've been around for so long. =(
Myates is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 01:18 PM   #27 
bastage
Member
 
bastage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Boise ID
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myates View Post
Sometimes I may come off as rude or harsh, but I try to be helpful first off.
I have found you to be particularly helpful.. So Thank you, & Ronon says thank you as well.
bastage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 01:32 PM   #28 
SnowySurface
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Shore, NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKingsFish View Post
I agree that the learning curve can be daunting. And no offense to those of you living in the States, but some people giving advice on this forum tend to be a little American-centric in telling people where to look for things instead of checking the nationality of the person seeking advice and asking what they have available. For instance, I live in a small-medium sized city in British Columbia. The nearest Pet Smarts are 2 hours away and 6 hours away...and as far as I know the nearest Petco is 7.5 hours and a border crossing away. In the event of an emergency, some of the things these forums recommend aren't readily accessible--and ordering on-line isn't always a viable option. I know that when someone is unable to find or afford aquarium salt I look before I tell someone in Arkansas that they can find Kosher salt at the Real Canadian Superstore for about a buck; or that Levamisole is banned by the government and is therefore unavailable; and Panacur can only be obtained with a prescription from a vet. (long story)
Yeah....I'm guilty of that. I can't help it if a Pet Smart is 10 minutes away from my job and a Petco is 5 minutes away from my house. It's habbit to think of those stores for emergencies. XD

But yeah, even good advice is useless if the person you give it to can't use it. I know members like the 2.5gallon minimum but I couldn't have 2 2.5 gallon tanks in my dorm room. So I had a very functional 1 gallon set up that kept my fish healthy. Now I have my own place so my fish were up graded to 5 gallons because I can use the cycled tank advice I read about in threads. I think cycled 5 gallon set ups are great, but I know what works for me doesn't work for everyone.

I think if more people realize one size doesn't fit all (heck, I've had 2 sizes already) then threads wouldn't seem so rude. Unfortunately, when people get passionate, feelings can get hurt.
SnowySurface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 01:39 PM   #29 
mjoy79
Member
 
mjoy79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myates View Post
So my experience is only from a few sub forums and in those I haven't seen a whole lot of rudeness. Just people wanting to help, and sometimes frustration when it seems as if their help isn't being listened to.
Thats how I feel sometimes. My frustration comes out when someone asks for help with something and completely ignores any advice that doesn't fit with what they want to hear. People don't like being criticized or told they're "doing it wrong". But if they have come for help, its best to at least listen to what is being said.

I haven't seen a lot of people immediately coming down on someone right off the bat, just after its been awhile and its becoming a long discussion.
mjoy79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2011, 05:13 PM   #30 
Bombalurina
Member
 
Bombalurina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Australia
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKingsFish View Post
I agree that the learning curve can be daunting. And no offense to those of you living in the States, but some people giving advice on this forum tend to be a little American-centric in telling people where to look for things instead of checking the nationality of the person seeking advice and asking what they have available.
Yes! I find it so funny when people tell me something should be readily available in Petco, Petsmart or Walmart. It may well be readily available there, but I'm a 20-hour flight from the nearest of any of those. My chains are Pets' Paradise and Petbarn. Our supermarkets (Woolworths, Coles, Aldi) only sell cat and dog food.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mjoy79 View Post
Thats how I feel sometimes. My frustration comes out when someone asks for help with something and completely ignores any advice that doesn't fit with what they want to hear. People don't like being criticized or told they're "doing it wrong". But if they have come for help, its best to at least listen to what is being said.

I haven't seen a lot of people immediately coming down on someone right off the bat, just after its been awhile and its becoming a long discussion.
One thing I saw a lot of on Yahoo Answers was new people asking a question and saying they kept their betta in an unheated bowl or somesuch. So many Answerers just came down harsh on them from the beginning and went straight on the attack, so the Asker went on the defensive and didn't take any of the advice. However, when an Answerer was polite, respectful of their situation, sympathetic with the bad advice they'd been given, took time to explain *why* things like heaters are necessary, and provided some links to cheap but good products, then the Asker was much more receptive, grateful and happy, and the fish generally ended up happier too. I think a lot of the time, people need to focus on how they are saying things as well as what they say. :)
Bombalurina is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
elitist, hypochondriac, too much

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.