To my dear dear Jiro who passed away one night when it got too cold and I put your tank too close to the heater in my misguided attempt to keep you warm. You were my buddy...man, I did love you guy, you were one of those one in a million fish
Also, to all your little fry you gave me. I let them down in a worse way than I ever let you down. I lost interest you see, in a way no real fish keeper would have ever lost interest. I started missing those water changes, I started forgetting about feedings, until there was one, and then there were none. I won't lie and say that if I had tried they wouldn't be here, because they would have been and I would have a piece of you to keep with me. I was punished severely for my negligence(It was negligence of the purest kind). I don't think I will EVER forget the lessons I have been taught through this experience.
But at least I still have Kurai your love and Luna your sweet heart. I still have Malcolm the king and even little lucky who is doing great. It was due to your loss and the little ones that these guys left behind will have a better life, cause I think I've been woken up in a way nothing else could have woken me.
Thank you Jiro, I loved you, I really really did, and I'm thankful to have had you
(To all those thinking of breeding who have never breed before. The responsibility is great, if even for a second you think you aren't ready, if even for a moment you halt and ask yourself, "Will I have the time?" "Will I have the money?" "Will I still do this when hardships hit, will I still push on when month 3 or 4 comes around?" then the chances are you aren't. I asked myself these same questions and ignored them when answer was quite plainly, "NO!" and now, I don't think I'll ever be able to see myself the same. Cause at the end of the day, those are little lives, they aren't just fish, and when you let them down, when you get lazy, when you forget, its those little lives that pay the price. Sure its easy to say, "They're just fish," but fish or no its still a little life, a life that you helped bring into this world. There's a scripture somewhere that says that god knows when even the birds fall in brush, he cares for ALL life, even the lives of little fish. When you let one down, it does no good to beat yourself up about it, but you can't just walk away the same as before saying, "It was just a fish" )
Even further, from here on out I don't think I will be posting on this site, I just didn't want to walk away with all the people on here wondering what happened to me, or even worse, thinking I'm actually a good person. Not that I ever lied, or intentionally made myself out to be something I'm not(though I may have exaggerated on a few things) For the most part I was honest and really really me and I tried my best. Also, I'm not looking for any kind of forgiveness or sympathy, I just felt like I owed you guys honesty, and honesty I have given you...and I guess honestly, I'm not cut out to be a fish person. It takes really awesome and passionate people to be fish people, people who love beauty and treasure even the little lives, and that's what all you lovely people are