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Old 02-06-2012, 02:49 PM   #21 
SnowySurface
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Being a parent is harder than you can ever know and if your parents are nice enough to let you have a fish in the first place try to be appreciative of their generosity, instead of complaining that they are giving you their opinion on fish keeping. Next time, try saying "thanks for the information mom but I like to spoil my fish by keeping his water as clean as possible."

Trying to get into who's right and who's wrong argument with your parents is a losing battle. They are your parents which makes them always right, even when they are wrong. Understand? Very few parents will admit fault, and even when they do it's not in the heat of the argument. They can't because they have to maintain authority over you. Why? Because that's a parents job, to teach you how to be able to live in this world safely and productively.

No one is complaining about having to live under a parent's rules. Everyone is complaining about having to live under rules that endanger the life their fish. Parents shouldn't be arguing with a child who wants to change a tank's water often enough to keep ammonia at 0ppm. Parents shouldn't scold a child who wants to have a betta in a 2.5 gallon tank simply because 1 gallon tanks don't kill the fish immediately. Parents shouldn't tell a child that a heater is a waste of money for a tropical fish that needs tropical water to survive. Parents shouldn't teach kids to use living animals as decoration.

This rant thread started because of parents who refuse to learn something new from their kids. Instead, they demand their kids make the same fish care mistakes they made as children instead of learning the proper way to raise fish from their children. Knowledge travels both ways.
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:04 PM   #22 
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I'm sorry all of you have to suffer through unyeilding parents. When people ignore clear scientific evidence it boils my blood. My father does that rather often (among other things). Hence the reason I no longer speak to him. My mother is very understanding and sees the great value taking care of fish has. She even has her own fish tank in her classroom to teach her students the lessons it taught me.

I will never understand why some of your parents nitpick the way you keep your animals. You've done the research; they haven't. But I do understand why they forbid you to have more. I am privy to family finances (college grad who is working from home) and watch my spending on my fish. It is an expensive hobby. I have literally put thousands of dollars into my fish (I also have koi, goldfish and a community tank).

So next time your parents want to give you advice on taking care of your fish just kindly say: "I'd rather get my fish tips from people with more experience." And when they tell you that you can't have any more just understand that they aren't trying to deny you enjoyment; it's a financial thing because fish are expensive.

ETA: +1 to SnowySurface. Knowledge isn't a one-way street. I teach my mother things, and she has imparted her knowledge on me, too. I am very grateful for that.
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:29 PM   #23 
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No one is complaining about having to live under a parent's rules. Everyone is complaining about having to live under rules that endanger the life their fish. Parents shouldn't be arguing with a child who wants to change a tank's water often enough to keep ammonia at 0ppm. Parents shouldn't scold a child who wants to have a betta in a 2.5 gallon tank simply because 1 gallon tanks don't kill the fish immediately. Parents shouldn't tell a child that a heater is a waste of money for a tropical fish that needs tropical water to survive. Parents shouldn't teach kids to use living animals as decoration.

This rant thread started because of parents who refuse to learn something new from their kids. Instead, they demand their kids make the same fish care mistakes they made as children instead of learning the proper way to raise fish from their children. Knowledge travels both ways.
com·plain (km-pln)
intr.v. com·plained, com·plain·ing, com·plains
1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.
2. To make a formal accusation or bring a formal charge.

I disagree. I saw complaining. Not sure what the definition of complaining is to you, but many of the posts fit the description of complaining to me. Also none of the kids said they were disciplined for changing the water, only that the parents/grandparents were voicing disagreement with it. They also didn't say their parents had rules against them providing the proper care. Only that they were angry that their parents gave them advice that they didn't want. I see nothing wrong with a parent providing what they believe to be accurate information. Regardless of whether it accurate or not a parent has ALL the rights in the world to teach a kid whatever they want to. That's our right as parents.

A kid has the right to respectfully provide accurate and factual information to educate their parents, but arguing alone should be avoided.

Last edited by Bettas Rule; 02-06-2012 at 03:33 PM.
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:43 PM   #24 
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This is just a clarification: I am a married 36yo woman. With a soon to be 5yo and a 2yo. Being a parent is hard and you are correct with your argument...but, I am new to this site so I might have read original rant a bit differently...or you could be reading it from "ungrateful child" point of view. I took the rant to be about anyone around you who vehemently tries to claim that you're not properly taking care of your fish, wasting time and resources doing something that isn't necessary, etc...
Just saying sometimes we all need to step back and make sure we see all the facets of the argument/topic/question.
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Old 02-06-2012, 04:24 PM   #25 
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This is just a clarification: I am a married 36yo woman. With a soon to be 5yo and a 2yo. Being a parent is hard and you are correct with your argument...but, I am new to this site so I might have read original rant a bit differently...or you could be reading it from "ungrateful child" point of view. I took the rant to be about anyone around you who vehemently tries to claim that you're not properly taking care of your fish, wasting time and resources doing something that isn't necessary, etc...
Just saying sometimes we all need to step back and make sure we see all the facets of the argument/topic/question.
Yes, I did take it as complaints toward the parents . This Is due to each post referring to guardian figures providing unwanted and incorrect information to the posters.

My mother used to give me dating advice that was old and out dated . It still didn't give me the right to tell her I don't want her advice. That's her job as my parent! To provide the best knowledge that she has to offer. I thank god that I have a mother that cares enough to give advice in the first place! Some kids have drug addicts for parents or just parents who just don't care.
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:39 PM   #26 
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That's a bit different though. I'm 20, nearly 21, so I'm no longer a child and I can see the world from my parents' point of view. I respect my mum's experience in the field of romance, whether it's outdated or not, but she has no experience in fish keeping, nor do any of my other family members, which is why it upsets me that they ignore my advice and endanger a fish's life. I'm very grateful for their advice in all other parts of my life, but they simply don't know enough about fish to be offering advice. It would be like me telling my dad he's servicing his motorbike wrong, or giving my mum dressmaking advice, or trying to correct my sister's piano playing. I don't have any knowledge in those areas, so I don't try and give advice. When I help my dad look after my motorbike, try my own textiles projects and play on my sister's paino, I do listen to the advice they give, because they are the experts.
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:58 PM   #27 
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That's a bit different though. I'm 20, nearly 21, so I'm no longer a child and I can see the world from my parents' point of view. I respect my mum's experience in the field of romance, whether it's outdated or not, but she has no experience in fish keeping, nor do any of my other family members, which is why it upsets me that they ignore my advice and endanger a fish's life. I'm very grateful for their advice in all other parts of my life, but they simply don't know enough about fish to be offering advice. It would be like me telling my dad he's servicing his motorbike wrong, or giving my mum dressmaking advice, or trying to correct my sister's piano playing. I don't have any knowledge in those areas, so I don't try and give advice. When I help my dad look after my motorbike, try my own textiles projects and play on my sister's paino, I do listen to the advice they give, because they are the experts.
This is PERFECT. I agree with every word here. I say the same thing to my mom, but she doesn't listen.

" Mom, you know everything about making jewelry and Gone With The Wind. Dad knows everything about building and the Miami Dolphins. Why is it so hard to believe that I know more about one topic than you do? "

The good part is that they don't stop me, they just tell me what they think. - shrugs -
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:54 PM   #28 
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This is PERFECT. I agree with every word here. I say the same thing to my mom, but she doesn't listen.

" Mom, you know everything about making jewelry and Gone With The Wind. Dad knows everything about building and the Miami Dolphins. Why is it so hard to believe that I know more about one topic than you do? "

The good part is that they don't stop me, they just tell me what they think. - shrugs -
Try to imagine yourself as a parent...Parents don't want to be outsmarted by someone younger than them. I am sure it's mostly a pride thing. My mother is VERY understanding and sweet and kind and even she has a hard time with it. I am not saying it's right, it's just the way it is. That's one of the reason's living with your parents sucks. lol
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:56 PM   #29 
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That's a bit different though. I'm 20, nearly 21, so I'm no longer a child and I can see the world from my parents' point of view. I respect my mum's experience in the field of romance, whether it's outdated or not, but she has no experience in fish keeping, nor do any of my other family members, which is why it upsets me that they ignore my advice and endanger a fish's life. I'm very grateful for their advice in all other parts of my life, but they simply don't know enough about fish to be offering advice. It would be like me telling my dad he's servicing his motorbike wrong, or giving my mum dressmaking advice, or trying to correct my sister's piano playing. I don't have any knowledge in those areas, so I don't try and give advice. When I help my dad look after my motorbike, try my own textiles projects and play on my sister's paino, I do listen to the advice they give, because they are the experts.
Come back and read this post in 5 years and see if you still feel the same way.
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Old 02-06-2012, 07:05 PM   #30 
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Sorry if this is off topic, but I was reading through the thread and I saw the "parents are always right" argument, and that just drives me out of my mind. I apologize if I offend any parents on the forums, but parents are not always right. This has nothing to do with fish, but when I'm upset at school I call my parents ONLY as a last resort because I know they'll make it worse. I'm uncomfortable talking about school with them because they so clearly care more about my sister's education than my own. They make me feel inferior on a regular basis. And it's because they try to make judgments about my major and department without bothering to try actually understanding the program. It's gotten to the point where I've scheduled time to talk to professors about it and I've had a couple people suggest I go to counseling. I'm sorry. I don't care if they're my parents and they do it with good intentions. In this case they're wrong.

Sorry for being off topic, but I just couldn't ignore the "parents are always right" comment. Things like that just make my blood boil.
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