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Old 02-06-2012, 06:25 PM   #31 
Bettas Rule
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Sorry if this is off topic, but I was reading through the thread and I saw the "parents are always right" argument, and that just drives me out of my mind. I apologize if I offend any parents on the forums, but parents are not always right. This has nothing to do with fish, but when I'm upset at school I call my parents ONLY as a last resort because I know they'll make it worse. I'm uncomfortable talking about school with them because they so clearly care more about my sister's education than my own. They make me feel inferior on a regular basis. And it's because they try to make judgments about my major and department without bothering to try actually understanding the program. It's gotten to the point where I've scheduled time to talk to professors about it and I've had a couple people suggest I go to counseling. I'm sorry. I don't care if they're my parents and they do it with good intentions. In this case they're wrong.

Sorry for being off topic, but I just couldn't ignore the "parents are always right" comment. Things like that just make my blood boil.
I used to to swear that my mother didn't love me and only loved my brother. I even had all of my peers convinced. I believed it to my very core...now I know it's not true though, and I see everything that happened in a different light. The light that only years of growth and maturity, and being a parent can provide. I truly hope in time you are able to forgive your parents as I came to forgive mine. You will see things so differently in time and I know that nothing I can say can prove that to you. I never believed my mother when she told me the very same thing. Now I am just amazed at the difference and I look forward to getting older and gaining more insights into life and living.....

The parents are always right comment is not meant to be taken literally.
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:54 PM   #32 
Olympia
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I have this problem. My dad rants to everyone, including our friend with a 120 gallon discus aquarium, that I change the tiny tanks so often. "Look at all his fish, he barely changes any water!" -___- well duh, it's a huge fully cycled stable tank.
He thinks the fish are spoiled with heaters, but he always complains that I waste SO much water changing and rinsing everything every week.

My solution was now I only change water when my parents are out of the house. xD
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:02 PM   #33 
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I have this problem. My dad rants to everyone, including our friend with a 120 gallon discus aquarium, that I change the tiny tanks so often. "Look at all his fish, he barely changes any water!" -___- well duh, it's a huge fully cycled stable tank.
He thinks the fish are spoiled with heaters, but he always complains that I waste SO much water changing and rinsing everything every week.

My solution was now I only change water when my parents are out of the house. xD
Me too! I usually do my water changes (I'm on the one fish a day schedule) before my parents get home from work. xD
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:35 PM   #34 
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Come back and read this post in 5 years and see if you still feel the same way.
Are you saying it doesn't bother you when people who know nothing about a topic are convinced that you are wrong, even though you've done months of research and they've done none? It isn't because they are my parents. I feel the same when people in petshops look at me agog because I give my betta a heater. I see an animal suffering and want to help it, but the owners don't do what is needed to improve its condition. That makes me upset regardless of who it is.
Things like that will never stop bothering me.
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:45 PM   #35 
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Just because you're a parent doesn't mean your children should automatically respect you. No one asks to be put onto this Earth, and it rubs me the wrong way when parents act as though they are some kind of ultimate unquestionable entity.

Anyways, my mum didn't understand about my bettas at first and why they needed so many water changes. But now that she's had a thorough two years education, she lets me do as many water changes as I need to. Plus it lets us get around water restrictions since I chuck most of my old tank water onto the garden.

My dad is the complete opposite. He has always provided the absolute basic care for his animals, and he continually goes on and on about every single aspect of my fish keeping. Since he doesn't live with us and it has no impact on his life or finances I just tell him to butt out.
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:18 PM   #36 
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That's a bit different though. I'm 20, nearly 21, so I'm no longer a child and I can see the world from my parents' point of view. I respect my mum's experience in the field of romance, whether it's outdated or not, but she has no experience in fish keeping, nor do any of my other family members, which is why it upsets me that they ignore my advice and endanger a fish's life. I'm very grateful for their advice in all other parts of my life, but they simply don't know enough about fish to be offering advice. It would be like me telling my dad he's servicing his motorbike wrong, or giving my mum dressmaking advice, or trying to correct my sister's piano playing. I don't have any knowledge in those areas, so I don't try and give advice. When I help my dad look after my motorbike, try my own textiles projects and play on my sister's paino, I do listen to the advice they give, because they are the experts.
+100 This is exactly the way the exchange of information in a family should go. The information highway is a 2-way street. I honestly feel sorry for a parent who can't be bothered enough to lose the ego enough to learn something from their child and his/her passions.

I think what most people here are griping about is that people who know nothing about fishkeeping are trying to force their opinions and methods on those who have researched and care for the animals they keep. I don't think this is a "I hate my parents" thread. It's an "I hate ignorant people" thread. Would we still be having this debate if instead of parents telling Jrk456 he's a fool for keeping his fish the way he chooses, it was his principle or school teacher?
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Old 02-07-2012, 08:40 AM   #37 
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Are you saying it doesn't bother you when people who know nothing about a topic are convinced that you are wrong, even though you've done months of research and they've done none? It isn't because they are my parents. I feel the same when people in petshops look at me agog because I give my betta a heater. I see an animal suffering and want to help it, but the owners don't do what is needed to improve its condition. That makes me upset regardless of who it is.
Things like that will never stop bothering me.

You will never be able to make everyone treat betta's well. Nor will you ever be able to get everyone to believe that you are right and they are wrong. It doesn't matter how much research you do on the subject. People are gonna believe and do what what they want, and getting angry about that will only hurt you in the long rung. For years I tried to educate people on pit bulls ad the truth about bite statistics ect... I would argue for hours even weeks with people in person and online and I would get so angry that they refused to believe me. Notice how I said refused? You see that's the kicker. You can be right all day long and have ALL of the facts to back you up and people still have the right to ignore the truth and CHOOSE to live in lies, and make no mistake about it, people do it all the time. Heck it happens on this website all the time. So you can get upset about things you can't change and let it bother you and stress you out, OR you can ignore them and focus on the people who will listen to you. The truth is, you just can't fix stupid and trying to will only stress you out and waste your time.
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:06 AM   #38 
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Just because you're a parent doesn't mean your children should automatically respect you. No one asks to be put onto this Earth, and it rubs me the wrong way when parents act as though they are some kind of ultimate unquestionable entity.

Anyways, my mum didn't understand about my bettas at first and why they needed so many water changes. But now that she's had a thorough two years education, she lets me do as many water changes as I need to. Plus it lets us get around water restrictions since I chuck most of my old tank water onto the garden.

My dad is the complete opposite. He has always provided the absolute basic care for his animals, and he continually goes on and on about every single aspect of my fish keeping. Since he doesn't live with us and it has no impact on his life or finances I just tell him to butt out.
Seems like you have been through a tough time and have some anger and resentment going on. It's natural to harbor anger when parents split. I hope in time you see the value in having respect for your parents as well as all authority figures. Parents make mistakes and they are not perfect, I had to forgive my mother for that one recently. Try visiting an orphanage and talking to those kids about their parents and see if you don't change your mind about yours.

I chose for my daughter to be here and her life is my responsibility to protect. I cannot protect her if she doesn't respect me because if she doesn't respect me she won't listen to what I have to say.Do you take advice from people you don't respect? I know I don't. I am the parent and I am the one with the experience and knowledge to teach her how to survive. Regardless of the fact that when she gets to be a teen she will think she knows everything. That's just a symptom of being young. All teens and young adults do it. Personally I think it's a natural thing than happens to give youth the false confidence the need to venture out of the home and live on their own.

Like a baby bird taking it's first flight for example. That baby bird has to be crazy thinking that he can fly the first time he jumps from the tree to take flight and yet every single baby bird makes that leap. Do they all fly? No, in fact most don't, they hop about the tree flapping around like a hot mess and some even hit the ground before finally getting the hang of it. I guarantee you they didn't jump thinking they were gonna hit the ground though.
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:11 AM   #39 
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I think what most people here are griping about is that people who know nothing about fishkeeping are trying to force their opinions and methods on those who have researched and care for the animals they keep. I don't think this is a "I hate my parents" thread. It's an "I hate ignorant people" thread. Would we still be having this debate if instead of parents telling Jrk456 he's a fool for keeping his fish the way he chooses, it was his principle or school teacher?
The thread title is "Does anyone else's family members do this?"
If that isn't enough every single post is about a family member.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:01 PM   #40 
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Um actually me and my mum are best friends and intend on purchasing some land together once we can afford it. I'm never moving 'out' as we'd miss each other's crazy animal stories too much. My dad and I are really close and he comes over a lot (was over just last night actually) to walk the dogs with me and mum (parents are divorced) and have dinner.

I respect both of my parents, but that doesn't mean I hang on every word they say as the gospel. My mum made a very bad decision in the past that impacted on me and could have really soured our relationship if I hadn't of loved her and understood why she behaved the way she did.

My dad spent so much time being hurt and bitter about the divorce he missed a lot of milestones in mine and my brothers' lives. But I can see how it must of been from his perspective and I don't love him any less. In fact we are much closer than most other daughters and fathers I see, and I can come to him and discuss anything in an adult and rational manner.

I was talking to my mum about this thread last night and she agreed. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean there are times you won't be wrong (and no not 'wrong but right') and times you may make mistakes or lose face.

I don't know why you took offence at parents being singled out. It's natural for kids to gripe at their parents. I'd be worried if my kids didn't on occasion. Conflict is natural in any healthy relationship, it's just how the individuals involved deal with it that makes the difference.

I know this is off-topic but I just wanted to clear up the fact that I am not some resentful sourpuss who chafes under the dictatorship that is my parents' rule.
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