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Old 02-07-2012, 03:09 PM   #41 
thekoimaiden
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Originally Posted by Bettas Rule View Post
The thread title is "Does anyone else's family members do this?"
If that isn't enough every single post is about a family member.
My question still stands. Would you be as involved if it was just a teacher or a friend telling the OP about his fishkeeping habits?

This debate is about a family member that doesn't take care of pets properly or tries to force bad fishkeeping practices on others. That doesn't make it a parents v kids thing. If you look beyond that you will see that it is a "those with knowledge" v "those without knowledge" debate.
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:42 PM   #42 
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Um actually me and my mum are best friends and intend on purchasing some land together once we can afford it. I'm never moving 'out' as we'd miss each other's crazy animal stories too much. My dad and I are really close and he comes over a lot (was over just last night actually) to walk the dogs with me and mum (parents are divorced) and have dinner.

I respect both of my parents, but that doesn't mean I hang on every word they say as the gospel. My mum made a very bad decision in the past that impacted on me and could have really soured our relationship if I hadn't of loved her and understood why she behaved the way she did.

My dad spent so much time being hurt and bitter about the divorce he missed a lot of milestones in mine and my brothers' lives. But I can see how it must of been from his perspective and I don't love him any less. In fact we are much closer than most other daughters and fathers I see, and I can come to him and discuss anything in an adult and rational manner.

I was talking to my mum about this thread last night and she agreed. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean there are times you won't be wrong (and no not 'wrong but right') and times you may make mistakes or lose face.

I don't know why you took offence at parents being singled out. It's natural for kids to gripe at their parents. I'd be worried if my kids didn't on occasion. Conflict is natural in any healthy relationship, it's just how the individuals involved deal with it that makes the difference.

I know this is off-topic but I just wanted to clear up the fact that I am not some resentful sourpuss who chafes under the dictatorship that is my parents' rule.
Telling your father to butt out is not respectful in my opinion.
I also stated that conflict between parents and children is natural.
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:50 PM   #43 
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My question still stands. Would you be as involved if it was just a teacher or a friend telling the OP about his fishkeeping habits?

This debate is about a family member that doesn't take care of pets properly or tries to force bad fishkeeping practices on others. That doesn't make it a parents v kids thing. If you look beyond that you will see that it is a "those with knowledge" v "those without knowledge" debate.
None of the posters said they were "forced " into bad fish keeping practices. They only said they were verbally hassled.

And to answer your question no, I would not be in this thread if it was not complaining about parents or guardians.

My actions speak for themselves as there are lots of threads about people giving bad advice and I have yet to jump into any of them.


In my house you don't debate with your parents. You do as you are told. This is Texas though, a place where people still say yes mam and yes sir. Things are different here and respecting your parents is #1 second only to respecting your elders. Debating with your parents around here is disrespectful in itself regardless if you are right.

There are many respectful ways to educate your parents and they don't involve arguing with them.
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:53 PM   #44 
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Oh I say much worse Just have to keep it PG-rated for the forum haha.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:08 PM   #45 
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In my house you don't debate with your parents. You do as you are told. This is Texas though, a place where people still say yes mam and yes sir. Things are different here and respecting your parents is #1 second only to respecting your elders. Debating with your parents around here is disrespectful in itself regardless if you are right.
If this was true my fish would be living in unheated little bowls because I'd be doing what my parents said -____-
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:11 PM   #46 
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Not just Texas, Ohio is like that too, respect your parents is a major thing in most places it depends on the parent and the kid though (how they were raised). I was raised in a household that had fish (my dad is still a fish keeper, betta's too)My dad doesn't say anything to me most of the time, I live on my own with my fiance (we are 25 and 29) but I have well water so I get ten gallons a week at his house for my water changes. When he does say something I just smile at him and listen out of respect. Then I do my own thing. Nothing I say will make him understand my water changes since he has never kept anything under a ten gallon. When my fish got ich he told me to treat it for one day with my meds and it would go away. A parent can be stubborn with their beliefs just like we on here are. Knowledge is a two way street and sadly, most of us don't like to learn from each other. I am assuming most of these kids don't mouth. they are just looking at this thread as a way to vent. Venting is healthy for anyone, my mother still calls me to vent about my brother and sister as I am sure she calls them about me. We all need someone to complain to or we may explode! :)

Last edited by Shirleythebetta; 02-07-2012 at 04:16 PM.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:20 PM   #47 
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Better to vent here than to explode on your parents.. haha.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:25 PM   #48 
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Originally Posted by Bettas Rule View Post
com·plain (km-pln)
intr.v. com·plained, com·plain·ing, com·plains
1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.
2. To make a formal accusation or bring a formal charge.

I disagree. I saw complaining. Not sure what the definition of complaining is to you, but many of the posts fit the description of complaining to me. Also none of the kids said they were disciplined for changing the water, only that the parents/grandparents were voicing disagreement with it. They also didn't say their parents had rules against them providing the proper care. Only that they were angry that their parents gave them advice that they didn't want. I see nothing wrong with a parent providing what they believe to be accurate information. Regardless of whether it accurate or not a parent has ALL the rights in the world to teach a kid whatever they want to. That's our right as parents.

A kid has the right to respectfully provide accurate and factual information to educate their parents, but arguing alone should be avoided.
This is what I'm saying as simply as possible. By all means you can continue to disagree with me since this is nothing more than my personal opinion. I want to clarify why I do not think the OP is complaining or starting arguements with his/her parents.

I do not believe a parent has a right to teach children wrong things because they are the parent. I also don't think a parent has the right to force a child to do the wrong thing based on authority. I think a parent has a responsibility to teach their children accurate information, help them do the right thing, and admit when they are wrong and their children are right. It does not happen often but there are times when children know more about a topic than their parents and can teach their parents something new.

If you don't believe me, here's an example. You are having trouble with your smart phone. Are you going to ask me for help or my 77 year old Grandmother? Exactly. I'm not going to act like I have more life experience than my elders but I do know some things I can teach the older generation. Unfortunately, a lot of parents won't admit that there is a difference between wisdom and knowledge. I may not have the wisdom of my elders but I do have more knowledge than them on some topics.

Therefore, what you call complaining I call teaching.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:26 PM   #49 
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Olympia* definatly, you can get all of your feelings out with someone who gets it so you don't go off on the parents. I am 25 and I think my dad would still spank my butt if I mouthed to him. Ahh, it is very true, we will never grow up in our parents eyes. Ha! funny story, my mom is a caregiver, she is 50 and her residents still call her a kid. They are between 70-90

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Old 02-07-2012, 04:44 PM   #50 
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I chose for my daughter to be here and her life is my responsibility to protect. I cannot protect her if she doesn't respect me because if she doesn't respect me she won't listen to what I have to say.Do you take advice from people you don't respect? I know I don't. I am the parent and I am the one with the experience and knowledge to teach her how to survive. Regardless of the fact that when she gets to be a teen she will think she knows everything. That's just a symptom of being young. All teens and young adults do it. Personally I think it's a natural thing than happens to give youth the false confidence the need to venture out of the home and live on their own.
Sorry for the quick double post, but that hits my point with a bulleyes. I don't think I know everything because I'm young. I think I know more about fish care than my parents because of books, this site, and 6 years of experience. My confidence isn't false because I do know how to care for fish and have done so for 6 years. Now, if I could get more of my family members to believe that I know what I'm talking because I know what I'm talking about then I won't need to vent on this forum thread anymore.

But on a side note, Heaven help any youth who was given false confidence before they left home. If your confidence isn't 100% bulletproff this world will eat you alive and spit out the remains.
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