I still can't believe this happened :( - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-21-2017, 10:11 AM Thread Starter
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I still can't believe this happened :(

My betta just died today :( I don't know what happened, but I just found him dead this morning. I clean my tank, ensure the water temperature is okay, and watch how much I feed him, so I'm not sure what happened. He doesn't have any fishmates with him 'cause he might pick a fight if I put other fish there. Right now I'm just emotionally and mentally exhausted. I'm not really good at handling losses. I feel like I did something wrong with my fish and that's why he died..
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-21-2017, 10:36 AM
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Unfortunately, sometimes it happens despite one's best efforts. I guarantee most, if not all of us here have lost a fish for seemingly no reason, so we can all relate. I still feel guilty over a female I bought a few months ago that randomly died of SBD a few days after I bought her. No apparent reason for it, just suddenly bloated and then dead the next day.

Heck, I still think about a betta I had 15+ years ago that I could have taken care of better... you're in good company here.

Sorry for your loss. I'm sure you did everything you could've of. Remember, though, that there are hundreds of bettas out there waiting desperately for someone to help them, and you can soon give another betta brand new chance at life.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-22-2017, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Katlyn Josephine View Post
My betta just died today :( I don't know what happened, but I just found him dead this morning. I clean my tank, ensure the water temperature is okay, and watch how much I feed him, so I'm not sure what happened. He doesn't have any fishmates with him 'cause he might pick a fight if I put other fish there. Right now I'm just emotionally and mentally exhausted. I'm not really good at handling losses. I feel like I did something wrong with my fish and that's why he died..
That's sad. I read from my facebook feed that emptiness may be caused by mental health issues (pls don't get me wrong). I just want to suggest that you read more about it since you were saying that it's hard for you to handle losses. There could be some ways to help you handle an emotion like this.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-23-2017, 11:01 PM Thread Starter
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Losing my betta really struck my loneliness chord. I can't help but feel empty every time I think of my fish. Sometimes, I even read articles explaining why I feel empty such as this one https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/ge...-more-serious/. My mom is already worried about me and I don't want her to be. So I guess I'll find someone to talk about this or even consider going to a professional.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2017, 03:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Katlyn Josephine View Post
Losing my betta really struck my loneliness chord. I can't help but feel empty every time I think of my fish. Sometimes, I even read articles explaining why I feel empty such as this one https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/ge...-more-serious/. My mom is already worried about me and I don't want her to be. So I guess I'll find someone to talk about this or even consider going to a professional.
I know exactly how you feel. Two years ago someone very close to me died. A couple of months after her death, I was in the worst shape I'd ever been. Constant nightmares, impenetrable insomnia that had me exhausted seemingly endlessly, PTSD-like systems, you name it. There were days when I would wander the streets aimlessly at 5 and 6 AM just trying to shake it off enough to go to sleep because I had no one to turn to. I was lonely. No one except two people on the internet cared what I was going through. No one.

I'm a big lover of animals, but my living situation doesn't really permit large pets of any kind, and I have allergies and asthma so violent that inviting a dog or cat into my life would send me to the ER in short order. On one of my low days I happened to be at Walmart and decided to check out the fish. I saw this little cellophane veiltail on the shelf looking miserable. I was so fascinated. I hadn't owned betta in around 15 or 16 years, the last one being a white and red Cambodian female I'd bought at that same Walmart. I'd never seen a cellophane before, had no idea they even existed. I bought him and took him home, started studying up on what he'd need and about bettas in general. Bettas started quickly becoming something I was interested in.

I continued to deteriorate mentally for a long time until I eventually hit a slow incline and started to recover. That betta, whose name was Eclipse, kept me company through some of the worst months of my life. There were days when I wanted to end everything but the thought that no one would take care of Eclipse pulled me through. I didn't want to do that to an animal that had given me so much.

Eclipse died in late July of this year after 2 years. After he died, I set up more tanks and got 7 more bettas. All of them are of immense importance to me, and even now they're part of the reason I choose to keep going. I will never not have bettas, unless at some point my living situation precludes having tanks set up.

Eclipse taught me that even the smallest lives have a lot value to bring to the world. He also showed me that there are definitely things I enjoy, and that I want to live for. He started me down this path of learning and involvement in the aquarium hobby that may even bring new like-minded people into my life, giving me a new avenue to enjoy life.

To people like you and I, a simple fish can be of immense importance. It honestly disgusts me when people berate others for caring so much about a betta, or a goldfish, or whatever. To some of us, those fish have been the best thing we've ever had, sometimes even having been better to us than the people in our lives. It's okay to mourn, to feel empty at the loss of something valuable to you. I think you should honor your fish's life by adopting a new fish. And talking to a therapist is also a great idea. Everybody needs support, even better if it comes from a professional. I wish you the best, and know there's always hope for the future.
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Last edited by DZIM; 10-24-2017 at 03:20 AM.
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