Seniors Rant Thread - Page 3 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #21 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-19-2015, 03:23 AM
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You know you're old when the pretty girls start flirting with you again ... because they know you're no danger.
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post #22 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 03:45 AM
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See, I told you old farts got no staying power. Here's a kicker:

I’m My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know but it really is so
I'm my own grandpa

Ray Stevens - I'm My Own Grandpa Lyrics | MetroLyrics
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post #23 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 09:55 AM Thread Starter
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I have no intention of giving up on this thread. Was busy with hubby's grandkids over the weekend who had a sleep over here at Papa-Nonni's house.

There is nothing like a 2 & 4 year old to make you feel old & drained at the end of two days. Makes complete sense that women can't have children after a certain age.

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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post #24 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 10:01 AM Thread Starter
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Who remembers this? Did you open it with a spoon or a butter knife? :)


Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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post #25 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 10:05 AM
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spoon! And i'm not even old >.>
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post #26 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 03:28 PM
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The handle of a spoon. Darn thing would destroy butter-knives.

That's pre-Bosco, too. So your old credentials are now certified.
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post #27 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 03:53 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Hallyx View Post
The handle of a spoon. Darn thing would destroy butter-knives.

That's pre-Bosco, too. So your old credentials are now certified.
The base of the spoon for me. Never liked the Bosco personally.

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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post #28 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-27-2015, 07:44 PM
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I shook my computer today, and a bunch of old stuff fell out:

* There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

* Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

* My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

* The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

* You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. (~ Geo. Burns)
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post #29 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-28-2015, 09:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hallyx View Post
See, I told you old farts got no staying power.
Hahaha staying power? How about the last 5 weeks driving my wife to work, rolling her in with a wheelchair the 1st 4, knees scooter for the past week, heading to my job then picking her up when I get off. Slinging a wheelchair in & out of a truck is a great morning workout! Add in packing up stuff at my mom's house about every other evening, staging boxes & furniture near a door for loading a truck on the weekends.

I can still hump a desk & dresser down a couple flights of stairs, leverage & a sturdy moving strap is the trick, something you learn with age. The difference from 30 years ago is the rebound time, takes a couple days & some pills for my body to get back together.

I've still got the staying power, just in more carefully measured doses. Age has a way of teaching you proper body mechanics, think for a second before doing. Online staying power is a piece of cake compared to my recent IRL staying power, sitting at the computer is a welcome break!

http://www.kraftbrands.com/oscarmayer/images/hd-products_meat-jumbo_package.png
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post #30 of 69 (permalink) Old 07-28-2015, 09:50 AM
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My wife uses a knee scooter. I have lots of fun with it.
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