Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Norwich, Norfolk, UK. The sticks.
No, definitely not at the point of leaving. I'm thinking of booking us some relationship counselling so we can try to work through some of the issues we have with the input of a professional. I've talked to him about that already. It's nothing insurmountable, I don't think, just some communication issues that we're both aware of but neither of us seem equipped to deal with, and it kind of blew up a bit at the weekend and I feel like we should capitalise on the situation rather than let it lie until the next time.
I do love him, very much. And we have it good enough that I want to work at it.
I don't think I'm *that* tempted that I will do anything. Besides, this guy is quite a lot younger than me. I think maybe I'm just enjoying the attention? We don't see each other in a capacity where things could escalate, and I definitely would avoid such situations. Objectively, I know how to handle it and what is acceptable and what isn't. I also think in time the temptation will subside and I'll stop thinking like this, and just see him as a friend, and be able to deal with things as a grown up. I'm not actively encouraging him, but maybe I'm accidentally giving off signals given that he's the sort of guy I'd be interested in if I wasn't in a relationship. Passing attractions are impossible to avoid sometimes, and I wouldn't say I'm in the position of emotionally investing in him more than I am with Sam... Sam is my number one.
But I know to keep an emotional distance. I know not to let things get beyond a mere friendship. We're not going out of our way to have coffee together, in fact lately I've been sort of making excuses to go to the library instead aware that I shouldn't give the appearance of actively seeking him out, but then I really don't have anything to do and he'll see me in the library and come to sit and work next to me and we'll chat about medieval history and stuff and generally have a laugh, which is nice.
I might just be reading too much into it anyway, flattering myself, so to speak! He probably just sees me as a mate and would be horrified to know how I've been thinking, lol.
I try to put myself in a situation where if Sam met a girl he got on with, who he could converse about things he couldn't with me (i.e. he has no interest in any of the academic stuff I do, and sometimes I really crave that sort of conversation, like last week me and this guy had a great discussion about the causes of the Crimean war and it's just so nice to have those kind of conversations, at least for a geek like me), how would I feel? What would be acceptable to me? How jealous would I be? I don't know. I think, with plenty of reassurance, I could accept him having those kind of friendships.
Then again, maybe I'm just being selfish reasoning it out like that. Which is perhaps one of the issues... I can be an extraordinarily selfish person!
“I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.”
― George W. Bush
My Journal: The Arthurian Cycle
Last edited by dannifluff; 10-12-2015 at 01:54 PM.