Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Oil City PA. USA
When we look at our fish, we just don't look to see them swim. We look, and study them, and their movements, their eating habits, how they respond to us in general. We notice little things in their behavior. We notice any body changes, cuts in fins, color changes. We notice everything that is going on in their tank. We test the water and make sure the parameters are spot on. We do water changes to keep them safe and happy. We know when they are stressed, and why for the most part they are stressed.
We all know our fish first hand. The bond we have with them comes from this study and the love and care we give them. We blame our selves for any harm that befalls them, and we are right in doing so. In our minds we are the ones responsible, we are the ones they depended on to give them care. Some times there are situations that we can not control, and then we go through the what if's. There is no time to second guess our actions. We grieve for our loss. In a little while we move on. We get another charge to care for, and we tell our selves the mistake I made will not happen again.
There are all kind of situations we face daily, but we can only do so much about other people's actions. In Ben's case The person responsible for doing what he did was not in my control at the time. I do blame myself, for putting Ben in this situation, and trying to find a reason it happened so I can feel better is wrong on so many levels. It will never bring Ben back. I have my memories of him and I will never find another with all his same quirks and quality's. However This will not deter me from giving another the same quality and care.
As far as the person who caused Ben's death. All I can say is (YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID.)