Sam's Life and Betta Buddy Journal - Page 51 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #501 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-08-2016, 10:49 PM Thread Starter
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I was referring to a different thread, actually. He or she seemed willing to learn, I personally love when people come to this forum with bad information and leave with better information than they had.

-Long life rant incoming-

Life rant.. Not life rant, just done. This has a lot to do with my relationship, or lack of one. It's very personal but I need to talk about it.

My boyfriend and I separated for a few reasons. Things were not going well. For the last month or so, we've been fixing things. He's been trying to fix his problems this time around. It was improving until this morning at around 5:30am. I get a picture sent from his phone of his friend named Leslie, who I do not like and does not like me, kissing him (on the cheek, but it still pissed me off). Then, two minutes later, I get a call from a number I didn't recognize. I didn't answer it. I got a lovely voicemail of suggestive things involving him in progress. I gave it a few minutes. I sat and thought about it. He values his life, and he knows I'm crazy enough to knock him on his ass, he wouldn't do that, and I know how he is, how he thinks, and how he does things. I messaged him, then called him, and he answered and explained that she was drunk and she took his phone and she didn't know what she was doing. I was still pissed, mostly at the fact that she would even try to mess anything up, and I did not care if she had two heads, that's not acceptable. Nothing about that is okay, and he defended her actions, which bothered me even more.

I went back to sleep, and I woke up later and called him. He tried explaining things again since I was still noticeably pissed, and he let's it slip that he joined the Marines and signed his life away, and that's why she was so upset. Months ago he told me he wanted to, and I told him I was against it. I explained to him why I was against it, I explained the risks, I explained everything. He told me he changed his mind and I won't have to worry about it. Apparently, he decided to do it anyway without telling me. Not even a warning until he had already done it. He did it that way so I wouldn't try to convince him not to, and he wasn't planning to tell me until next week. Now he says he feels that if I don't support him in this, I don't love him or care about him. It's not that I don't, it's that he ignored my concerns, lied to me telling me he wouldn't sign up, and then did it anyway behind my back and tries to sweet talk it into seeming like he did it for me and our future.

I am very upset. I have a lot to think about, things are not going well for me. This entire week has been nothing but more crap after more crap. I need a break, and some wine.. I really do.
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Check out my journal - SIP to all of the Bettas I've lost

Last edited by Tourmaline; 05-08-2016 at 10:59 PM.
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post #502 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-09-2016, 11:59 AM
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If we lived closer I'd say come over, there's plenty of wine! Boys really can suck, but whenever people say that to me I always come back with the same response: we can suck sometimes too. The thing is to find someone who sucks less and who you can have mutual love and respect with even when they suck and even when things get complicated. People are always going to do whatever the f*** they want regardless of what anyone else says, but it's never too much to ask for consideration in the process. You can't make some decisions together or be part of that process, but you can be listened to and considered. Granted that may not change the outcome, it's all you can ask for.

From what you say about this guy, he hasn't lived up to any of those things. He doesn't deserve you or deserve your love and support.

The Bleeding Heart's Journal
20 Gallon Sorority of 7 || 6.7 Gallon with a Giant Gene Male
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post #503 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-09-2016, 10:58 PM Thread Starter
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Like, I get it, he doesn't think his life is going anywhere, he has nothing going for him, and he wants to accomplish something.. But that wasn't the way to do it. He still wants my support, but he's accepted that he's not getting it and he's done irreparable damage to our relationship. And he's disappointed in me, but not as much as I'm disappointed in him.

No one is supporting him on this. No one besides his friend who is a Marine who convinced him to do it in the first place, who is also getting a hard kick to the groin next time I see him. I told him to stop pushing him to do this and let him decide for himself, and he pushed him to do it at the last minute.

He keeps saying it's his life, but the thing about being in a relationship or taking someone seriously is that every decision you make effects them in some way. Yes, it's your life, but you're sharing it with someone and you should take them into consideration when making choices. Not just do it, and then tell them after you've already made it final.

Then he has the audacity to say he expects me to never support him and doesn't know why he asked for my support..


Check out my journal - SIP to all of the Bettas I've lost
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post #504 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-10-2016, 05:34 PM Thread Starter
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Well, Nerites can't survive out of water, it seems. Marty, my Zebra Nerite, climbed out the other day. He out of the water for maybe half a day. He dried out, and he died.


Check out my journal - SIP to all of the Bettas I've lost
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post #505 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-10-2016, 11:36 PM
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o.o I've had Netrites out of the water for days.... They might've been going back under at night, but....


SIP Marty

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Lucifer, Gabriel, Titan, King, Finnegan, Fin-again & Ricky.
Lucifer & Gabriel are my only non-rescues...

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post #506 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-11-2016, 09:02 AM
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I totally understand how you are feeling as one of my sisters went through something very similar. I'm sure you voiced your concerns about military illness rates, bone disease, joint disease, spine disease, respitory and neurological problems, cancers.
Here is a documentary on the depleted uranium etc:
https://youtu.be/3iGsSYEB0bA?list=PL...KXaoB1LmgdQWs1

There are a number of support groups for young vets with mystery illnesses on FB and other sites, you can get more info and he can find support there if needed. There is a great need for vet advocates.


Keep your chin up! You need to think about your future and take care of YOU.





Quote:
Originally Posted by Tourmaline View Post
I was referring to a different thread, actually. He or she seemed willing to learn, I personally love when people come to this forum with bad information and leave with better information than they had.

-Long life rant incoming-

Life rant.. Not life rant, just done. This has a lot to do with my relationship, or lack of one. It's very personal but I need to talk about it.

My boyfriend and I separated for a few reasons. Things were not going well. For the last month or so, we've been fixing things. He's been trying to fix his problems this time around. It was improving until this morning at around 5:30am. I get a picture sent from his phone of his friend named Leslie, who I do not like and does not like me, kissing him (on the cheek, but it still pissed me off). Then, two minutes later, I get a call from a number I didn't recognize. I didn't answer it. I got a lovely voicemail of suggestive things involving him in progress. I gave it a few minutes. I sat and thought about it. He values his life, and he knows I'm crazy enough to knock him on his ass, he wouldn't do that, and I know how he is, how he thinks, and how he does things. I messaged him, then called him, and he answered and explained that she was drunk and she took his phone and she didn't know what she was doing. I was still pissed, mostly at the fact that she would even try to mess anything up, and I did not care if she had two heads, that's not acceptable. Nothing about that is okay, and he defended her actions, which bothered me even more.

I went back to sleep, and I woke up later and called him. He tried explaining things again since I was still noticeably pissed, and he let's it slip that he joined the Marines and signed his life away, and that's why she was so upset. Months ago he told me he wanted to, and I told him I was against it. I explained to him why I was against it, I explained the risks, I explained everything. He told me he changed his mind and I won't have to worry about it. Apparently, he decided to do it anyway without telling me. Not even a warning until he had already done it. He did it that way so I wouldn't try to convince him not to, and he wasn't planning to tell me until next week. Now he says he feels that if I don't support him in this, I don't love him or care about him. It's not that I don't, it's that he ignored my concerns, lied to me telling me he wouldn't sign up, and then did it anyway behind my back and tries to sweet talk it into seeming like he did it for me and our future.

I am very upset. I have a lot to think about, things are not going well for me. This entire week has been nothing but more crap after more crap. I need a break, and some wine.. I really do.

Last edited by LittleStar; 05-11-2016 at 09:19 AM.
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post #507 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-11-2016, 06:57 PM Thread Starter
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I've been really off these last few days. I haven't been paying attention to my fish like I should. I missed two water change days and two of my tanks managed to get up to 20 nitrates.. I feel really bad.

In fish news, to distract myself from the depression..

Does anyone know much about Mystery Snails? I've done some research, but their care is pretty basic for me since I already have extremely hard water. I don't need to add anything to my tank for them, all my snails have healthy shells. But diet wise.. Pearl is so picky! She'd rather eat duckweed and algae wafers all day than eat cucumber, spinach, lettuce, or zucchini. She touched the lettuce once and ate a huge piece of it, but ever since then she ignores any food I put in there for her. I always put it in the same place, at the same time, like I used to do with Arthur. No interest since that one day.

She does this weird but cool thing.. She'll scoop the duckweed with her body, drag it to the glass, then move her mouth down to eat it from under her body. It's super interesting to watch her habits but I wish she'd eat more varied foods. I've taught her to come up for some pellets too, so hopefully that's enough. She gets four pre soaked pellets every day, along with whatever else she eats from a vegetable in the tank, an algae wafer, and duckweed. Picky snail...
Attachment 785073

Also, it seems like Apollo is improving slightly. The pineconing has gone down completely, but he's lethargic. He can't figure out what's wrong with him. He's been checked for IP and he doesn't have any, he's not constipated, and there's nothing wrong with his parameters. I made him send me a picture of the results. 0 ammonia, 0 nitrites, 5 nitrates. I'm stumped too..


Check out my journal - SIP to all of the Bettas I've lost

Last edited by Tourmaline; 08-20-2016 at 09:08 PM.
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post #508 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-11-2016, 07:25 PM Thread Starter
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Also, Maru has to have something bacterial going on with his fins. He was improving rapidly with the dosing of Kanaplex, and a week after being off it, his fins are curling again and all progress has stopped. He didn't heal completely before the dosing was over, his ventrals still had whatever issue his fins have. I'm starting another round since he's been off it for a week. If the Kanaplex worked and water changes didn't stop it or keep it at bay, it has to be bacterial, and it's very aggressive. Luckily, I have medications up the ass for bacterial infections thanks to Sebastian.


Check out my journal - SIP to all of the Bettas I've lost

Last edited by Tourmaline; 05-11-2016 at 07:27 PM.
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post #509 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-11-2016, 09:02 PM
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Akk, that sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.

I hope another round of Kanaplex will help Maru, I'm dealing with a bacterial infection too (no thanks to the flightless fruitflies from Pet Smart) :/


My Current Boys: Ike, Ra, Ralphie
In Loving Memory Of: Dangerous (my baby), Chili, Oscar, Eclipse, Kip, Storm, Chloe, Snowy, Onyx, Speckles, Jasper, Oliver, Buttons, Stella, Xena, Zanzibar, Kai, Loki, Merlin, Jedi, Mullen Topaz, Ollie, Amethyst, Jericho, Igneel, Lil' Specks, Prince Onyx II, Caspian, Louie, Napoleon, Jinx, Jeremiah, Kronos, Nash,
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post #510 of 1427 (permalink) Old 05-12-2016, 07:17 AM
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Your Pearl is awesome. I think she views the Duckweed as a premium source of fresh vegetables so why bother with anything she can't harvest herself. She may need a little more protein. I've read Duckweed is high in protein so that could be another reason Pearl prefers it. You can add a freeze dried shrimp (floats) and see if she likes that on her plate with her Duckweed lol. They are so cute. Mine like shrimp and also gets organic peas (skinned well). I wish I had Duckweed, too chicken to try plants. Anyway Pearl seems very happy to me. Sometimes less is more.
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